Chapter 119 Crazy Together
ALICE
My heart plummeted. "What do you mean?"
Theo took my hand in his and my heart started beating painfully against my chest. He kissed my knuckles. I felt so weak that I couldn't ask him to elaborate again.
It was my turn to laugh, and Theo looked at me with a stunned look on his face. I touched my chest. "Oh my God, Theo. You scared me."
"What do you mean?"
"I thought you were ending things with me. I...It just caught me so off guard."
It would've broken my heart. It would've crushed me if he had.
And that was precisely when I found out that I was really deep into all this.
"Never," he smiled in relief, pulling me close. "I thought you were laughing at my question."
"No. Never." After a breath, I asked, "Do you mean that? Like really mean it? You want us to get married?"
"Yes. Is your answer no?"
"No."
"Then it's a yes?"
I bit my lip and nodded, and he kissed me. I was sure about my answer. So, so sure. Things between us were so great, and I was in love with him. I couldn't deny it. I didn't want to.
I was proud about some things and I had a hard time admitting them, that was true.
But not about this.
When he pulled away, I asked him, "When?"
"Today."
My eyes bulged. "Theo! That's...are you sure? But we don't even...I don't have a dress!"
"That could be arranged."
I scoffed. "We didn't tell anyone!"
"Who would you want to tell? Apart from Granny and Oliver, I don't have anyone else I'd want on my invitation list."
His question hit me hard. Rory was the only person I could think of. I was still mad at my parents. But getting him here was impossible, and I couldn't get to him without going through my parents first.
Wow. That really hurt me.
"No one," I admitted. My eyes started burning right then and there. "Maybe Freddie."
He was the only genuine friend I had at the moment.
"Then he'll be there."
"Theo...this is crazy. You're crazy."
"So are you. And that's why we're made for each other, Alice. Think about it. Do you really see a point in living in sin when we know we'll get married at some point? Delays are so pointless. What's the difference between today and three months from now?"
"You'd have a chance to turn back. Change your mind." After a beat, I asked, "Living in sin? You're not even religious!"
"I don't need any religion when I have you. And concerning your question, I know I sure as hell won't change my mind. Will you?"
My answer was genuine. "No."
"Then there's that."
I only had a few moments to think about this. I know he needed an answer right now. But I froze. I was scared. Not because I was unsure about wanting him and loving him, but because I was terrified of what would come after.
I was terrified that it wouldn't work out the same way things with Benjamin didn't work out.
Theo must have seen this written all over my face because he held me close again and told me, "I don't make rash decisions, Alice. You might think that this is coming out of nowhere, but I thought about this a lot. I didn't want to corner you or make you feel like I was forcing this whole relationship, so I gave you space and time to think about this and decide whether or not you wanted me as much as I wanted you. If it depended solely on me, that ring on your finger would be an engagement ring."
My nose stung and I felt so emotional. "Theo..."
He grabbed my face again. His voice dripped with sincerity, love, and admiration. Dammit, I couldn't stop the tears from trailing down my cheeks.
"I love you," he whispered. "I love the shit out of you, Alice Ann Rhodes. I've loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I did everything I could to get your attention but you were in a committed relationship and didn't pay me the slightest mind, and I respected you so much more for it. I never thought you'd be mine and that made me desperate to have you even more. I'm not used to being told no. But I had to learn to accept that some things just weren't made for me, and that was why I let you go. I never understood what that saying meant. Loving someone and letting them go just sounds so fucking counterintuitive, but I realized that it was the pure truth after you, baby. I'd give anything to see you happy, even if it meant watching you lead a life without me."
I shook my head. I was ugly crying now and I didn't want him to look at me so closely, but did he let go? Never. And when I saw the sheen of unshed tears in his own eyes, that was when I knew that I had no reason to worry or be afraid.
"But you're with me now, and I'm the happiest man in the world. I mean it. After last night, I don't think I can stand being apart from you much longer."
I nodded. "I felt the same way. It felt so right. Being there. With you."
"Then let's do it," he claimed. "Let's build a life together. I'm serious about this, Alice."
"I know you are," I whispered back. "Yes, Theo. I'll marry you. And I love you. So, so much."
He brushed his nose against mine and breathed in sharply. "Say that again."
"I love you."
"Again."
"I love you."
"Just one more time."
I giggled and his lips met mine. I repeated the words between kisses. "I." Kiss. "Love." Kiss. "You."
Theo picked me up and twirled me around. I felt like I was in a damned movie.
This was undoubtedly the wildest decision I'd ever made in my entire life, but it felt so right.