Chapter 115 Lost Without Her
THEODORE
Although the fight was long behind us, I was still tense and every time I thought about Felix, anger surged right through me and made it almost impossible for me to focus on what was happening in front of me.
But I tried my hardest.
My right hand was swollen and the knuckles had all been bandaged at the hospital while we awaited news about Granny. Everything happened so strangely.
Her doctor had been called, and once he arrived, he went into her room. When he walked back out, he told us that she was fine and we could go home.
“What do you mean?” I had asked. “Do we get to see her?”
“Not right now, no, but I can assure you that she’s stable. Once she wakes up, I’m sure she’ll call you herself. Really. There’s no need for you to worry.”
Oliver was the one who dragged me out of there. I found it really suspicious that he was so concerned about kicking us out and briefly had the feeling that he was lying to us.
But I was here now and all I could do was wait.
If she didn’t call in a few hours, I’d go back there and this time, I wouldn’t leave until I was allowed to see her.
Fucking Felix. I hated that he made me lose control to such an extent. Granny had been begging us to stop but after he pushed Mom, I lost it.
Heck, maybe if I were more malicious, I wouldn’t have intervened. Felix was the one whose side she was on, right? I was her son and she’d turned her back on me completely just because I decided to break things off with Carmella.
But couldn’t think that way, especially not in the moment.
I wasn’t that kind of person.
I tried and tried to understand why the hell she was so worried about Felix. Had Dad asked her to take care of our cousin after his death or something? Was it his death wish? If that was the case, it made no sense. Felix’s father, my paternal uncle, was still alive, and so was his mother.
He didn’t need Mom to look out for him. So, why did she do it? Why did she care so much?
I reached for the glass of wine in front of me and made eye contact with Felix, who had Angie on his lap. He shrugged at me in a way that told me to just forget about the whole ordeal.
Felix had been taught a lesson and Granny was stable. We were here, surrounded by the women we loved, so there was no reason why I had to dwell on that godawful, tense moment.
Suddenly, Alice placed her hand on my thigh under the table. I turned my head to look at her and saw worry in her eyes.
To reassure her, I threw an arm over her shoulder and leaned back, ignoring the pain in my hand. Later on, I’d try to talk to her about the whole thing.
I hated that we left such a bad impression on her. Shit, this was the first time she met my whole family and it was a fucking nightmare.
Lunch went by in a blur and I had more wine. I didn’t eat much. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Thelma was kind enough to keep the conversation flowing and Oliver chipped in. They kept Alice entertained, at least. I wished I could push what happened out of my mind but I couldn’t move past the hatred.
I hated Felix for making me lose control and that my actions led to Granny ending up in the hospital.
I resented my mother for taking his side and not mine, and every time I thought about how she turned her head to the side just so she wouldn’t look at Alice, I saw red.
I should have mentioned something to her and forced her to interact properly with the woman I was going to marry someday, but maybe it wouldn’t have amounted to anything and Alice would be more embarrassed.
We all left a couple of hours later. Oliver promised me he’d keep in touch with the hospital but I was already determined to make sure Granny was well by myself. Alice and I headed to the car and the first thing I said to her was, “I’m sorry about my mother. What she did was…I don’t even have words. I didn’t give it the importance it deserved at the time, mostly because I was so stressed about the encounter with Felix and in my mind, it was just the kind of thing I expected from her, but it was wrong, and if you think I’m a coward in any way—”
“Whoa, Theo. I don’t know where this is coming from.” She placed her hand on my forearm. “It’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for her actions.”
“It was wrong.”
“Perhaps, yeah. But it has nothing to do with you.”
My car was still parked outside the restaurant. I should’ve started the car and driven off, but my hands remained where they were.
I was burning with anger.
“Theo,” she said softly.
It was only then that I realized that my eyes were fucking burning, too. I shut them quickly, refusing to let any emotion out whatsoever.
Alice climbed onto my lap and I held her close to me, eyes still closed. Fuck, I was so mad. How could she? What right did she have?
She was the one who enabled Felix. How could she badmouth me to that fucking rat and give him the authority to trash my life?
What kind of mother was she?
Alice caressed the side of my neck gently. If she weren’t here, I’d probably drive around this city looking for Felix just to slam my fists into him all over again.
But I didn’t trust myself, not when I was in this state.
What if I said the wrong thing to her?
What if I raised my voice when I didn’t mean to?
“Let me drive you home,” I suggested. “I'm not good company today.”
Alice pulled back to look into my eyes. “You're sure?”
“Yeah.”
I needed to be alone.
Her response was, “No. You won't push me away.”
“Alice—”
“When I had a bad day, you were there, remember? You were there for me even when I didn’t know I needed company. You cooked for me. I pushed you away but you didn’t leave, and I didn’t lose myself to my emotions completely. So, get in the passenger's seat. I'll drive you home. I’ll even put you to bed.”
A smirk tugged at the corners of my lips. “What does that mean?”
My hand moved to the curve of her ass. She answered, “It means whatever I want it to mean.”
“Well, I like the sound of that.”
I made the move to kiss her first. I felt better right away, almost like all the anger fled my body as soon as she suggested staying with me. Sure, if I thought about what happened for too long, it would come rushing back, but I was distracted at this point.
I didn’t know what I was doing without her all this time.
I was lost, and I only realized that now.