Chapter 218
Chapter 218
The flight back to Manhattan felt endless, though in truth it was only a few hours. I spent it staring at the window, watching clouds drift by like slow-moving ghosts, each one a cruel reminder of what I was leaving behind. My chest ached with every breath, but I refused to cry in front of strangers on a crowded plane. I kept my sunglasses on even though there was no sun inside, and my earbuds played music I couldn’t even hear over the pounding of my thoughts.
Nathaniel. His touch, his voice, the way his eyes softened when he looked at me. The way he made me feel like I belonged somewhere. And yet, all I could think of was Mr. Hawk’s voice replaying in my head like a curse: The Lisbon must pay their debts one way or another. Marriage or the land.
It didn’t matter how much Nathaniel hated Britney Hawk or how uncomfortable he was in that suffocating parlor. The truth was heavier than both of us—his family, his legacy, the farm. Could I live with myself if I was the reason everything crumbled? No. I had to let go, even if it shattered me.
By the time the plane landed, my resolve was firm, but my heart felt like shards of glass cutting me with every beat.
The taxi ride to the William residence was unbearable. Manhattan streets never looked so foreign, so suffocating, even with the usual chaos of honking cars and the blur of neon lights. My stomach twisted into knots as I realized what awaited me at home. Emily with her sharp intuition, Maria with her endless questions, Dolores with her big-sister lectures… They were going to see right through me. They always did.
I held myself together until the cab stopped. Paid the driver, grabbed my bag, and dragged my broken soul up those familiar steps.
The door swung open before I even knocked. Emily’s eyes widened instantly, her usual playful smile fading as she took one look at me. Maria appeared from behind her, mouth opening in a dramatic gasp, and Dolores—well, she didn’t even hide her frown.
“You’re… alone?” Emily asked softly, disbelief laced with concern.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. My throat locked. My only response was a tear slipping down, then another, before I brushed past them, clutching my bag like a lifeline. I walked straight to my room as if the walls themselves might collapse on me if I lingered.
Behind me, I heard Maria’s whisper, frantic and low. “Oh my God, she’s crying—she never cries.”
Dolores’ footsteps echoed as if she wanted to follow, but Emily’s voice stopped her. “Let her be. She needs to rest. We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
I closed the door behind me, slid down against it, and finally allowed myself to sob—quiet, broken, messy sobs into my knees. The scent of home should’ve been comforting, but all it did was remind me of the space Nathaniel would never fill here.
Emily was right. I needed to rest. But how do you rest when your heart won’t stop bleeding?
Nathaniel POV
She left.
She didn’t even look back. Didn’t even give me the chance to explain, to tell her that I had already made up my mind. That no matter what ancient feud or outdated debt tied the Lisbon name to the Hawks, I wasn’t going to be chained to Britney Hawk.
But Aya left without a word, as if disappearing was easier than facing me.
I sat in my study, the weight of it crushing me. I couldn’t focus on the ledgers in front of me, though numbers had always been my escape. Millions sat in accounts—my years of investment, my careful planning, my work that no one but I had poured sweat into. It wasn’t enough to pay off the entirety of the Lisbon debt, but it was a solution. A start. Something I could negotiate with. A way to keep the farm safe without sacrificing myself to Hawk’s daughter or anyone else.
And yet… she was gone.
Why?
Because she thought I couldn’t handle it? Because she thought the only way was her stepping aside, as if she was some expendable piece in this cruel game?
My fists tightened against the desk. Did she think so little of me? That I wouldn’t fight tooth and nail for her, for us?
Or worse—was I fooling myself all along? Were her smiles, her laughter, her quiet moments beside me… nothing more than a beautiful lie? Was I the only one who truly fell?
I stared at my phone on the desk. Her name glared at me, waiting. It would take one press, one call, one message—
But my pride, my hurt, my confusion stopped me cold.
No. If she wanted to leave, if she thought so little of me, then she could explain herself first.