76__Desperately in love

*A/N*

*Guys, sorry, quick word! I was playing the song Rewrite the Stars **slowed** and in **reverb** on repeat when I proofread this chapter and OMG, it made it so emotional, I almost cried???? Uhm, anyway, good tip for background music, bye, I love y’all.♥*

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Her face twisted with scepticism and Maia reeled back her emotions.

He was lying to her, wasn’t he? Again, fooling her, again, making her believe whatever he wanted.

“Oh, yeah?” she asked him.

Rogan watched as she slid the glass closer to him.

“Let’s test that and see.”

He blinked. “What?”

“I said let’s test it!”

Rogan scoffed in disbelief. “What’s a positive test? Huh? Me dropping dead?”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll revive you then.”

“You don’t have the power to revive me.”

“I do too!”

He sighed, closing his eyes.

Maia stood there, her jaw clenched stubbornly as she looked at his face. She would continue to believe that he was lying.

Otherwise it would be true that he had had her running around the kingdom to find him his own death weapon.

He’d had the girl who was in love with him find him his death.

She swallowed. That was just far too cruel, even for Rogan.

“Are you gonna drink it or not?” she asked, a betraying tremor in her voice.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. Without giving her time to change her mind, Rogan reached out a hand and grabbed the glass, lifting it to his mouth.

Gasping, she grabbed his wrist, the glass only inches from his lips.

Their eyes met above the rim of the crystal, his swirling with thoughts he couldn’t speak and hers bright with tears and a torrent of emotion.

“What? No longer want me to drink it?” he asked, a tone of slight mockery tinging his words.

Maia’s grip tightened. “Y-you… Don’t drink it.”

“Why? You don’t want me dead? Why care about a bastard who’s put you through so much?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“You’re mad at me.”

She stilled, staring at him. A small swell of anger burned in her heart as he stared at her with those magical eyes of his. Damn him. He always saw through her, it was so unfair.

“I have every right to be angry…” Maia muttered tightly, hating herself for being unable to carry on with her plans of revenge.

Rogan nodded. “Okay, yeah. I’m a mean bastard, I get that you’d be mad. But maybe talk to me? Maybe curse at me, tell me I’m a piece of shit and give me the chance to fucking beg you to forgive me, Maia? Maybe not make me feel like even you see me as the monster everyone else did.”

“I don’t owe you anything, Rogan,” she told him sharply, the tears brimming in her eyes a frustrating contrast to her sharp words. “Especially not honesty. You were never honest. Not when you pretended you would protect me from the Shifters… not when you knew your family was behind Nana’s murder and coming after me! It was *your* family! You weren’t honest when you had me…” He watched her hold her breath, swallowing the lump in her throat as two crystal drops of tears streamed down her cheeks. “You weren’t honest when you had me looking for something that would kill you…”

“Maia—”

“I thought I would’ve been helping you if I found Trojans. Did you never wonder how I would have felt if you’d used them? I would have lost you and it would have killed me! The *guilt* would have killed me! And how exactly did you even expect me to live after you—”

Her tears streamed endlessly and Rogan felt even worse than he had earlier. “I’m sorry—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!”

Releasing his hand, she turned to march away.

She didn’t see him move, but knew it had been fast because, barely two steps away, he caught her hand in his.

“Maia, wait, for hell’s sake.”

She spun back around with fury. “You should have just drank the purple one and sounded like a pixie for a week! That would have probably made me feel better!”

Rogan winced. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. Do you want me to drink the purple one? I’ll drink it. I’ll drink them all and get a pixie voice or red polka dots and all the other shit those drinks can do to me.”

Her face went slack with shock and then tight with frustration. “How… how did you know?!”

The rage in her voice made him swallow. “I mean… I’m sorry, Maia, I can detect changes in my potions even with my eyes closed. But I’ll still drink them, if it’ll make you feel better! Although they’re not all that original or funny—”

The diabolical rage that turned her grey eyes nearly into a sorcerous black made Rogan shut his mouth.

“Not funny?” she demanded in a lethally quiet voice. “You know what’s not funny? What’s not *funny* is you letting me get killed by your evil witch of a cousin! It wasn’t funny when you tried to make me the person who would have killed you!! What’s n-not funny is how in love I am with you and you just not giving a damn about me!”

“Maia—”

“I hate you! I hate that I love you! I wish I never met you! I wish you’d lose y-your powers and get polka dots and get a squeaky voice forever!”

“W-woah,” Rogan said, gripping her hands. “Let’s be careful, you’re an Enchantress now, don’t curse me like that—”

Her forehead was flying at him before Rogan could even blink and she hit him right on the nose!

“Argk—!!”

Seeing black dots and hearing tweeting birds, Rogan staggered back as his head spun.

She’d hit him with her head! Gripping his nose, he groaned in pain, his eyes shut tightly.

“That was… that was deserved. I deserved it,” he muttered.

When his head stopped spinning, he slowly opened his eyes and lowered his hand from his nose. The trickle of warm blood told him she’d actually done some damage.

Maia stood still, her arms at her sides and her gaze settled on his face in a very hot glare.

He looked silently back at her, none of the words he actually wanted to say coming out of his mouth.

They stood that way for about five minutes, simply looking at each other.

Turning slowly away, Maia walked over to a glossy kitchen counter. She returned with a paper towel in her hand.

He watched her fold it up as she approached him.

Silently, she reached up and cupped his jaw, her fingers gentle against his skin. With the other hand, she pressed the paper to his face, dabbing away the blood.

Rogan stared at her, seeing her eyes fill with more tears and her lips press together as she cleaned up the blood.

Maia swallowed, her heart aching. “I’m sorry…”

He simply watched her in silent awe and self-loathing. She was so goddamn *pure*. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve even half of her.

He knew all he could say. He could tell her how sorry he was, how much he was goddamn crazy about her, how he never actually knew it was his family after her, he could say all of that. Maia would listen to him if he explained.

But did he even deserve to defend himself?

Rogan found himself just staring silently at her. The silent panic was there, raging through his mind because he didn’t want her to leave him. What if she left him?

“Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You don’t.” A tear held desperately on her lower lashes as her chin jutted out with sadness.

He swallowed. “Maia… I… Don’t leave.”

Her hand froze its actions, her eyes slowly rising to meet his gaze. It was desperate, that gaze of his, filled with so much that he didn’t say.

“Maybe I should….” she whispered. “Maybe I should leave you before you leave me.”

His hand travelled up her arm to cover her hand against his cheek. “I… would *die* if I left you.”

"Why? Because you’d no longer have anyone madly in love with you?”

“Because *I'm* madly in love with *you*.”

“Lies,” she whispered.

Rogan’s grip on her hand grew heavier, more desperate. “If you could believe me only once in your life, believe me right now, Maia. I… I burnt down a third of my own kingdom… for you. I didn’t know, Maia. I didn’t know Diana was behind it or that she planned to kill you, but I *should’ve* known, I’m sorry. I swear on all things sorcery… I would have never… *ever*… let her hurt you. There is nothing in this shitty world that I would not sacrifice for you.”

She looked up at him as he spoke, biting the inside of her cheek to hold back the sobs crawling up her throat. “Why did you… w-why did you make me love you? I’ve never experienced anything so difficult in my whole life… Why does loving you hurt? Why did it have to be *your* people who harmed mine?”

Shrugging tiredly, Rogan shook his head. “I don’t know… I don’t know, Maia. I don’t know why things have happened the way they have. I don’t know why you love me or why I’m so madly in love with you, but that’s just it. We don’t have to know why we love each other, we just fucking do.”

“You hurt me.”

Rogan pursed his lips guiltily. He nodded. “I did. And I’m sorry, Maia. You deserve a perfect bastard and I’m not perfect, I’m just… a regular bastard, horrible even.” Reaching for her, he cradled her face in his hands. “But what if I swear… to *never* do that again? Hm? Would you stay with me? What if I swear to protect you and shield you and kill any sonofabastard who ever even looks at you wrong? Even if it’s my own family.”

Gently, she cupped his hands against her cheeks, feeling the last bits of anger fade from her heart. She’d been so mad at him, but goddamn, she’d missed him so much. When she was in his arms, she could never stay angry. Even if she tried to.

“Do you swear then? To love me? And protect me?”

A sudden tug around her waist jerked her against his body and he lowered his head, covering her lips with his. Her eyes fell closed immediately, the intensity with which he kissed her weakening her knees and flushing all her fears out of her mind.

His arms wrapped around her, that warm cocoon she’d missed so much enfolding her once more. He was like her own sturdy protection. Even after everything, she still felt so safe in these arms of his. That feeling told her a lot.

His mouth worked both gently and hungrily against hers, leaving her calm, with a perfect peace swirling through her soul.

He kissed her that way for a moment more and then raised his head, hesitantly breaking their kiss.

“I need you to understand one thing, Maia,” Rogan murmured darkly, looking into her eyes. “To love you… I already do. *Madly*. And to protect you? On the honor of my mother, the late Princess Donna of Cassius… I *swear*.”