Chapter Nine

Ryleigh Alexei’s still at practice. I’ve showered, straightened the apartment, and am now sitting on the floor playing with Ella. On one of his last shopping trips, Alexei picked up a couple of stuffed animals and a baby rattle, and I’m having a blast making this little baby smile, and getting such a kick out of the cute noises she makes as she plays.

Ella brings the stuffed pig to her face, gripping it in both chubby hands, and I smile down at her. I can’t believe I’ve had her for almost two weeks already. I’m starting to feel a little more sure of myself around Ella, and a part of me knows that that assurance is because of Alexei and his confidence around babies. He calms me . . . centers me, even. He makes me think that maybe, just maybe I can do this.

As I look down at Ella, I can’t help but think about Andi. I didn’t know her for very long, but she was a good roommate. She was respectful of my personal space and paid her portion of the rent on time. We weren’t friends, more like acquaintances who shared a living space. We didn’t hang out often, but we were friendly enough. For a while, it was a mutually beneficial relationship that worked well. And then all that started to change. She was late on the rent a couple of months, and then she left one day, moving out without warning.

I didn’t know she was pregnant or even why she moved out, but she must have been at least a couple of months along by then.

She showed back up out of the blue with Ella many months later. She looked so skinny, far too thin for having just had a baby, and all she said was that they needed a place to crash for the night. Mostly I was just surprised to see her, especially with a brand-new baby in tow, so much so that I blindly agreed. Now I wonder if it was all a plot to leave Ella with me. Because by the time I woke up the next morning, Andi was gone and Ella was crying, needing to be fed.

Where are you, Andi? I can’t help but think she’s in some kind of trouble. Maybe the kind of trouble that she doesn’t want to involve an infant. Either way, my heart breaks for Andi, but mostly for Ella, whose mother obviously abandoned her.

While I’m lost in thoughts of what happened to make Andi abandon her child, my cell phone chirping startles me, and I reach for it on the coffee table.

It’s a text from Alexei.

This morning was fun.

I chuckle, my mood lightening with just that one sentence. He’s right; sex with him is fun. It’s lighthearted and happy, and I never once felt self-conscious or uncomfortable. He has this way about him that makes everything feel so effortless and easy and good.

I don’t know . . .

I tease him, thinking about what to write next.

Your technique could use a little work.

Satisfied with my snarky reply, I sit back on my heels and tickle Ella’s belly with her toy.

Little—there’s a word I’ve never heard before.

The ass. Apparently, he’s being snarky too. Yes, the man is hung like a damn horse, and he knows it. My cheeks warm as I remember our encounters, both last night and again this morning.

I wait for his reply, anticipating something more vulgar, like him saying you didn’t seem to mind when you were coming on my cock. But Alexei’s a gentleman, because his next message simply says, Let’s discuss it tonight after Ella’s in bed.

I quickly type out deal, smiling to myself.

Ella lets out a little whimper, and it’s not one of the happy squeals she made while we played.

“Are you ready for your morning nap, little one?”

I lift her from her spot on the floor and bring her to my shoulder, where I gently rock her and pat her back. I’ve been trying to think more about her schedule, ever since Alexei told me she should have set nap and feeding times. She’s been awake for a couple of hours now, and so I think she could be getting sleepy again.

I carry her into the guest room and pull the curtains to cover the windows, blanketing us in almost darkness. The room is cool, but not chilly. Perfect for napping.

I lay Ella down with her pacifier and decide I’ll join her. I lie down in the center of the cozy bed and close my eyes, feeling content and at peace for the first time in a long time, even though my life is anything but.