Chapter 83 He hurts I hurt
Natte hasn’t seen his dad since he was seventeen that I know of. And their history … well it’s complicated, difficult, and right now I’m unsure which way he’s going to go with this.
Sadness or relief?
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” I say tentatively.
“It’s fine. I mean, he’s dead, and I hadn’t seen him since … so, you know…”
“I know,” I breathe. “I’ll come to you now. I’m getting the next flight to London.” I start to climb up out of bed.
“No. It’s fine. I’m fine. I have to come to the Texas, for his funeral.”
“You’re going?”
“He was my dad, Shia.” His tone is sharp.
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”
“No, I’m sorry,” he backtracks. “My head’s just a little fucked up right now.” He sighs. “I just need you, Shia.”
“I wish I was with you. I’m so sorry I’m not.” I chastise myself for this whole time apart thing.
“When are you coming to London ?” I ask.
“I’ve chartered the jet for a midnight flight. I’ll be there early evening your time.”
“Where is the funeral being held?”
I have no clue where Natte’s dad had been imprisoned the last few years.
“At granny's ranch south of Texas you remember we went there once your still so young. He'll be buried in two days. I’m arranging it. There’s no one else to do it.”
“Leave it to me. You don’t want to be doing it, baby.”
“It’s okay, I mean Steve's helping with everything.“
“I want to help.”
“Okay um, just speak to Steve and see what he needs.”
“I will right away, so should I meet you in at the ranch?”
“No, I’m coming to Texas first. I need to see you, I'm drained and your the best support I have ever had and the funeral's not until Friday, is it okay if I stay with you at your place? I just think I need you around so much shia”
“Natte, you don’t even have to ask, I want you here. And the funeral, do you want me to come with you?”
I don’t want to presume he’ll want me there. I don’t want to presume anything at the moment.
“I can’t do it without you.”
“Then I’m there. It’s you and me now, Natte. And what about your mum? Is she coming to the funeral?”
“No.” His tone is curt.
It’s understandable why his mom wouldn’t want to go, but I thought she would to support Natte.
“Okay,” I say, unsure what to say right now.
There’s a pause between us before Natte speaks again.
“I need you, Shia.” I can hear his ragged breathing down the line.
“I’m here. I’m always here for you.”
“I know it’s late there, but will you stay on the phone with me?”
“Of course I will. So what do you want to talk about?”
“You and me. Our future. What we’re going to do together.”
“You mean you want me to talk about that house we’re going to build on an island in Miami that belongs just to us, and we’re going to live off the land like a pair of castaways.”
“I love you, Shia Johnson.”
“And I love you, Natte Johnson.”
“So tell me more about this island?”
And I do. I stay on the phone with Natte until the sun rises, and it’s time for him to catch his flight from London to Texas.
I shower, dress up, force a little bit of breakfast down, and then head into work taking the subway.
I’m tired. I’ve had little sleep, but I couldn’t sleep at the moment if I tried, I’m too worried about Natte.
Vicky beams brightly at me when I knock on her open door, then I watch as her face drops when she sees mine.
“What’s the matter, my darling?” she asks worried, getting out of her chair, coming over to me.
“Natte’s dad died.” My voice wobbles and I know I’m set to cry any minute now.
I’m not upset about Petrr dying not at all. I’m upset because Natte is.
I can feel his pain like it’s my own even though there’s an ocean between us.
He hurts. I hurt.
“Oh, sweetness.” She puts her hands on my arms, looking searching into my face. “How is Natte doing?”
I shrug. “He hadn’t seen his dad in a long time. They had a very difficult relationship in the past but honestly, I think it’s hit him pretty hard.”
“Come, let’s sit.” She guides me over to the little sofa in her office.
“I’m really sorry to do this to you again, Vicky but I need to take some time off to be with Natte. He’s flying in today, and the funeral is at his grandmother's ranch on Friday. Of course I’ll work from home, and I’ll catch up on whatever I miss..”
“It’s fine, shiv. ” She takes my hand patting it with her other. “Everything is in hand here with your column. The important thing at the moment is Natte, and making sure he’s okay. We can worry about the job and everything else later. ”
I feel the weight lift off my shoulders.
“Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?” I can feel tears forming in my eyes.
“It’s been a while. ” She winks at me.
“Well you are, and I love you lots and lots. ” I wrap my arms around her, hugging her.
Then the tears start to run from my eyes.
How am I going to cope without her and Terry when I move to London with Natte, all his business will report to him at main largest office in London ? And my Mum and Dad for that matter?
I can’t even tell Vicky about the move at the moment. I will soon, but dropping this on her is enough for now, I think.
“Oh, my darling girl, don’t cry,” she says hearing my sniffling, she hugs me tighter.
Thank god I wore waterproof mascara today. Subconsciously, I must have known I would be crying a lot today.