Chapter 81 Move in with me
I let myself in my flat, lugging my heavy luggage in behind me.
Darla is at God knows where, I'm sure Terry is at her work. Her business is at a peak season and I'm sure she's extremely busy now.
I just couldn’t bear to leave Natte, and he wasn’t so keen on letting me go either after our dinner last night.
I can say I had an amazing day with Natte.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I stare down at his last text; the one I received the moment I was settled in the cab refusing his driver dropping me
Just think about it please. I love you so much. I want you in my life, permanently. I want to wake up every day with you beside me.
“Don’t go,” Natte whispered, holding my face in his hands.
“I have to. I’ve got work to do we both have, and you’ve got a big company to run… and I’m sure you need to go into the office to check up on the merging you just did … baby, it’s only for a few days, weekend only and then we’ll be back together,” I added, staring up at his sad eyes.
“It’s 172,800 seconds without you,” Natte sighed.
“Did you just work that out in your head?” I had asked him not believing.
He nodded.
“Smarty pants.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
I hooked my fingers into his T-shirt. “It’s not a long time and then we’ll be back together.”
I don’t mean that. It feels like it’s going to be forever, especially when he just broke our absence from each other down into seconds like that.
But we’ve been in each other’s pockets far too much recently, and I don’t want Natte to get bored with me. The distance will make him miss me, make him want me more.
Or get lonely and go looking in search of comfort elsewhere.
I quickly shut out that thought, and my stupid irrational side.
The time apart will be good for us.
Natte stared into my eyes, his blue ones caressing my soul, and I could feel myself faltering, weakening to his plea.
No. Be strong, shia. It’s only 2 days on Monday we'll mess in his office.
No, it’s 172,800 seconds…
“I’ll miss you, baby,” I said forcing my strength. “So much, but we both have to work.” I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips.
“Move in with me.”
What?!
“What?” I leant back away from his face, resting down onto my unsteady, heeled feet, searching his expression.
“I’ve spent long enough without you in my life, shia, and I won’t do it again. Come and live with me. Move in with me.”
I run my finger over the screen on my phone, staring at his message again.
“Natte, this is crazy! We can’t move in together!”
“No, what’s crazy is that I’m standing at roadside saying goodbye to you again.”
“This isn’t the same as back then. I am not fourteen anymore. We’re not going to lose each other. I’m yours and youre mine, and that’s never going to change.” I held my friendship bracelet up to him as proof of this. “I’m just going to work on the writings at home for a little while, and then we'll be back together the entire week.
You’re only asking me to move in with you as a knee jerk, because of how you feel right now about being away from me.”
He took hold of my arm and kissed my friendship bracelet.
“No, I’m not. I want to live with you because I’m in love with you. I want to share my life with you. Just tell me you’ll at least think about it?”
I closed my eyes briefly. “I’ll think about it.”
His hands moved around my neck, and then he was kissing me deeply.
“You won’t regret it,” he murmured.
“I haven’t said yes, yet.” I lifted my eyebrow at him.
“No. But I’m just hoping on the fact you seem to have a hard time saying no to me.”
Dragging my luggage through to my bedroom, I dump it down on the floor, then sit on the edge of my bed in the silence for a moment.
The last time I was here I was here with pine. Everything has changed so much since then.
I feel a sudden, unexpected tear trickle from my eye. I hurt pine so badly, and I’m never going to be able to take that back or fix it for him.
It’s hard, feeling happiness to the level I do with Natte, when I know it came at the price of other people pain.
It was easier to block it all out when I was still at the resort with Natte, but sitting here now, surrounded by memories of Pine and the night time we spent together, just makes it all so real. And it hurts that I hurt him so terribly.
So terrible that he never bothered to look at me again the day Will stormed his hotel room, when I was telling him I'd slept with Natte, and that I love both of them.
I loved Pine. I still do. Feelings like that don’t just disappear overnight.
I just wish there was some way to tell him how truly sorry I am.
Never would I change choosing to be with Natte, I just wish I’d had the foresight to do it the right way.
But then is there ever an easy way to break the heart of the person you’re in a relationship with, to leave them for your soul mate.
With a sigh, I start to unpack my suitcase, and set to work on doing my laundry.
I hate washing clothes, but it helps to keep my mind occupied from sad thoughts of Pine, and
scary thoughts of moving in with Natte, not adding the fact he's waiting for the DNA results, until Terry gets home from work. She promised to spend the night with me.