224

What do you think of this one?” Ryder slid his tablet toward me, looking frustrated. “It feels like we’re just settling for anything at this point.”

I barely glanced at the property on the screen. “It’s fine. Just like the rest of them.”

Jaxon walked over with three beers and handed them to us, scanning the screen. “Put that away. I’m not in the mood.”

“I’ve been crashing at friends’ places for two weeks now. I need somewhere to stay.” Still, he tucked the tablet away and rubbed his eyes, looking worn out. We all did.

“I wouldn’t call it couch surfing. You’ve got a bed at both our places whenever you actually decide to stop by.” I finished off my beer and grabbed another. “Just stay with us for now.”

“It’s been a long week. The same as last week. I just want to drink and forget for a bit. Can we do that?” Jaxon took a swig of his beer and downed half in one go. He burped. “‘Scuse me.”

“Any updates?” I knew it wasn’t a great question. It wouldn’t help Jaxon forget, but I had to ask.

“No.” Ryder pulled out his phone, and I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at the lock screen—a picture of Margot, glowing and happy in a sunset. That image was never going to replace the memory of her standing in the snow, crying, no matter how much I wished it would. I didn’t deserve that version of her. “She hasn’t posted anything. Her business site still says she’s on a break.”

Jaxon leaned in, touching the photo of Margot on the screen. “I just want to know how she’s doing.”

“I even reached out to Constance. She told me to get lost.” Ryder looked around the bar, picking at the label on his bottle. “What are we supposed to do? We’re stuck in this limbo. I can’t move forward, not while I can’t accept that we ruined everything. You guys are barely holding it together. We’re stalking her, though poorly. We’ve done everything except just go to her.”

“I tried going back to work. Ended up punching a hole through a windshield. You two are the only ones I can deal with right now, and that’s just because we’re all hurting in the same way.” Jaxon picked up Ryder’s phone, staring at the picture of Margot again. “I hate not knowing how she is or if she’s okay.”

“I could have someone check in on her, just to know she’s safe.”

Ryder shot me a look. “Imagine how that conversation would go if she ever found out.”

I slammed my hands down on the table. “There won’t be any conversation because she never wants to see us again. We’re never going to see her. It’s over. She hates us, and that’s just the way it is.”

“I’m not okay with never seeing her again.” Ryder shook his head. “I can’t accept that. None of us can. It’s clear from how hard we’re fighting to keep our lives from moving on. She’s ours. How is she supposed to make things work without us? I know we messed up, but how is this better than being together and trying to fix things?”

“You’re preaching to the choir.” Jaxon pointed at me with his bottle. “Have you given up?”

I cursed and shook my head. “How could I? Every time I close my eyes, I see her. I don’t want to accept this. I feel like I’m losing it. I just don’t know what else to do. Do I ignore her wishes when she made herself so clear?”

“If none of us are ready to give up, what the hell are we doing?” Jaxon finished his beer with a grunt. “I’ll say this once: forget what she thinks she wants. She’s happier with us. She loves us. There’s no one who can take care of her better than we can. She belongs with us.”

“What are we waiting for?” I asked, feeling suddenly uneasy and backpedaling. “We’re just drunk. This isn’t a good idea. Tell her to forget her wishes and just take her?”

“No, that plan’s terrible.” Ryder nodded. “That sounds like a felony.”

“Are we doing this or not? If it’s more of the same talk we’ve been having, I’m out. Either we go to her or we don’t. What’s it going to be?” Jaxon growled. “If one of you says we’re not going, I’ll knock you out.”

“I love her.” I cleared my throat and said it louder. “I love her.”

Ryder rolled his eyes. “No shit. We all love her.”

Jaxon nodded. “Yeah, no surprise there.”

I sighed, pulled out my wallet, and left a few bills on the table. “Gregor’s still pissed at me, but maybe he’ll drive us to the airport.”

“This is really happening? We’re going to show up and tell her we’re done waiting?” Ryder checked his phone, swore, and stood up. “Fuck it. We’re already at rock bottom.”

“She’s going to marry us.” I swayed as I stood up. “Shit, I’m drunk.”

“Okay, maybe we sober up first.” Jaxon burped and grimaced. “We can’t show up like this. Why would she want us? We can’t be stupid and… funky.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m not funky.” I sniffed myself and sat back down in my chair. “But yeah, let’s sober up first.”

Ryder slumped back into his seat and groaned. “I’m going to have to apologize for her getting stuck with us, along with all the other things I need to apologize for. This’ll just be one more.”

“We’re not the worst.” I hiccuped. “We could be Braxton.”

Jaxon snorted. “Goddamn.”