Chapter 80 Feelings?

Chapter 80 Feelings?
Theon.

After a lifetime of having the notions of duty, responsibility, and royalty engraved to me from the start, I didn’t want to disappoint our father or the pack that relied on our family to provide it with leadership. Had I simply been the prince still, I might have considered it, but it was only mere months ago that my brother had abdicated from his position as the heir to the throne, because he trusted me to do a better job at ruling than he would have done, and father had started training me in the royal and diplomatic affairs. I realized that I had been using this relationship as a means of escape from all the expectations that were weighing down on me. While I loved Valencia, nostalgia drove our relationship more than love. She was my last connection to the life I led before I had to step up and fill the position my brother left, but I wanted her to be my present and future too.

But I was not just Theon Rexellen the wolf. I was Theon Valenti Rexellen, first of my name, the heir to the Throne of the North American Wolf Kingdom. I could not afford to have someone who was not my mate as my Luna and consort, unless my mate had died.

And given how I had not even met my mate yet, that was not a possibility. So, even reluctantly, I knew that someday soon, I had to do what was best for the pack, rather than what was for myself.

Later, before Elias went feral, I would consider it hypocritical of my brother to preach to me about my responsibility to my actual mate than the woman I chose, when he had given up his own for his mate. But the woman he had given it up for was his mate, so the rules differed. There would be a time, just after my breakup with Valencia that I would loathe him for putting me in this position, and my anger would extend at my own family. Eventually, I would come out of it, but I think that changed something in me. That I became a harder person after that, who would eventually grow to be a ruthless man in the present.

(Later, much later, I would wonder if having to give up Valencia for a mate I never met before was what made me so angry when Callista the Stealer even dared to suggest that she was my mate. I would wonder if I had been so cruel to her because I was still subconsciously angry at the world for putting all this responsibility on me and making me choose between duty and the love of my life only to saddle me with the werewolf personification of taboo. And whole I would come to this realization, the girl who had been a victim of my unreasonable malignance would be lying on a bed with healing scars carved onto her skin, whose only wish had been to be free from those who held her back, to have her own choice, and I would realize that we were similar that we thought, deep down. But except for the fact that Callista continued to fight for that freedom regardless of what came her way, and I folded under the weight of responsibility and expectation. And that thought would make me want to stab myself for doing what I did for her.)

I held on as long as I could, but in the end, I was only a mortal werewolf. Breaking up with Valencia was the hardest thing I had ever done, especially when she had expected me to choose her above convention and fate. I tried my best to explain my reasoning to her and have her as my friend because I was greedy like that.

But Valencia didn’t want to let me go. She was disappointed in me for making the choice I had, but still, she was fiercely protective of what she deemed as hers, and I’ve been hers before I’ve been the pack’s. She was not ready to let that go.

After that, she changed, but for the worse. She wouldn’t let me talk to any other girl, she would follow me everywhere I went, and she would complain about anyone who did so much as look at me. At first, it was only with girls, but eventually, even when my dad summoned me, she got angry. She became dangerously obsessed with me, stalking me constantly and doing creepy things behind my back to anyone who showed any interest in me. 

She didn’t even acknowledge her mate. Whenever he tried to approach her, she’d lash out at him, calling him names and even threatening to physically assault him. She humiliated him so much that one day, he’d tried to commit suicide by jumping off a campus building.

That was the breaking point for me. I tolerated everything before that, but the moment that someone else came near to getting hurt because of our actions, I knew that this had gone too far.

I felt for Valencia, I really did. I had the same hurt as her, the same need to say, ‘fuck everything’ and be with her. Because sometimes, the mate selection wasn’t fair. It made no sense at all. But it was the way of the wolves, and it was the will of the Goddess. And wolves, the superstitious beings that we were, could not resist it.

But Valencia didn’t want to do that. I won’t be mindless enough to put all the blame on her, I was bad enough too before her mate’s suicide attempt. After that, I became more forceful in my need to break up with her and end this weird obsession she had with me. It was not doing either of us any good.

Even after the attempt, she still ignored her mate. Still carried on as before. Still wanted me to be hers. By now, I was starting to feel pressured by her as well.

But what really crossed the line happened on the day Elias went maniacal for the first time. During his first episode, he tried to attack me, and I had to shift and use my Alpha wolf to intimidate him into submission. But before I could do that, he’d managed to take a swipe at me.

Seeing blood on my shoulder after I transformed broke something in Valencia and that night, she tried to kill Elias.

In the present, I run out of the castle to the outer courtyard of the castle, only to find her walking back into the castle leisurely. Her sword doesn’t look like it’s been used, and her face is thoughtful. But that does nothing to relieve me.

“Why are you running?” She asks me as I come to a stop next to her, “Anything wrong?”

My heart aces and I have to command myself to deal with this like a mature adult. Goddess knows I hadn’t been so lately. “What are you doing?” I question her back. “Where were you?”

“At the hospital. I went to see the stealer.” She says earnestly. “I didn’t realize she was such a young girl.”

“She’s an adult,” Why do I feel the need to stress that? “And you shouldn’t be visiting her, she’s not well.”

Valencia smiles at me, although it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t worry Alpha, I don’t mean her any harm. I simply was curious.”

Relief rushes through me. Callista is safe. She’s okay.

“Well, now you saw her. She exists. Please don’t bother her, she’s going through something bad.” I reply.

“Oh, yes, she told me,” Valencia mutters loftily, “You killed a bear Alpha for her.”

She cocks her head. “Makes me wonder, why?”

“What do you mean why? He was trying to sacrifice her!” I exclaim, not understanding what she was getting at.

“But didn’t she run away from you?” Valencia tilts her head to the other side, “She left your pack of her own will, why did you go back to her?”

Then her eyes go cold. I’d seen that look before, and old memories resurfaced.

“Tell me, Alpha King,” Valencia Everheart asks, her voice a deceptive calm. I feel a shiver run up my spine. “Have you got feelings for the stealer?”