Chapter 34

"You have to look like you," Mina tells me.

Why can't I wear the jumpsuit? Wouldn't it seem more natural? But then, I get it. Apollo decided it was time to make a public statement. He tells me that the journalists have been begging them to let him talk to me for a long time. 2 years, 5 months and 10 days. That's how long it took me to be ready. They're all next to me. All of them, Mina and Artemis, who are walking around showing me clothes and asking me to choose before they choose them. Apollo, Harold and Gerald talking to each other. Travis and Delilah are somewhere near a film crew. The interview will be broadcast internationally. Hades is on a couch. I haven't spoken to him since his sister's party and since then his sister has turned a year old. I sent him a letter on his birthday and he replied on mine. That's it. He doesn't look at me. Ares is next to him but he fidgets a lot. He gets up and comes to us.

"You don't want to lie," Artemis muttered. "But you don't want to tell the truth either. You'll find ways to talk in between. If you feel the need to cry, do it, but only if you feel the need. If you want to laugh instead..."

"If I laugh in the wrong situation it will seem like I'm not sorry. I know."

And the truth is, I'm not sorry. But this is a bad place to say it. I look at Arthur, the only guard I know of those who accompanied me. I want to ask him to let me talk to Rosa. Or to take me back. Instead, I'm surprised by Mina who puts me in a booth. I undress. I take the skirt she gave me. A loose top like the ones I wore before, I think it's from my closet. A skull on it. I have my black jacket with red spots on it and some boots. Those are my clothes. A choker and Mina is arranging my hair. He complains that I shaved it, since last year and now it's short and there's nothing she can do about it. It's only shaved on one side. Its natural color with the tips still faded and faintly pink. I start to put on my makeup, as usual, and I feel like a rag doll. What can he ask me? What can he tell me?

"You can't be alone here," Arthur sighs as he opens the door. "The others are buzzing me. Look at you! You look like a girl!"

Try to make me smile. I'm not in the mood to please him.

"Why don't we just bring her the surprise?" Ares sighs from the doorway.

"What surprise?" I want to know.

I see him grinning. I want to get up but Artemis asks me to stay put for a few more moments. I wait. I wait until Ares leaves and comes back and I know that's when I can get up and see what this surprise is all about. Then I laugh. As soon as I get back to the room from earlier I find myself laughing and throwing myself into Rory's arms. I missed her. I feel her hands in my hair and I hear Mina protest when she protests. She says she's just about to get settled.

"You left it the way I cut it," Rory smiles and pulls away.

I look at her. She looks like she just came from an office, in her elegant red jacket and high-waisted pants with the same color stripe, in her expensive, high-heeled patent leather shoes and her black, leather top that highlights her breasts so well. I'm not surprised that Artemis just stares at her. At her and her long, slightly wavy, black hair, at her red lips and her olive skin. At her and her Beauty. Rory smells good now and looks like a lady.

"And her?" Delilah wants to know.

I don't look at Delilah and her changes. At how our Barbie doll has become even more beautiful. At the pale pink, streaked from her honey blonde, at her pastel pink dress. I don't know what she's doing here but she's my husband's sister so I smile politely and don't think about the fact that she's the wife of the man I love. Hades put the phone down. He wasn't looking at Rory. He was looking at me. He bought the shirt I'm wearing.

"This is Rory," let me introduce her. "She was my cellmate in the first few months. And… Ahh… "I stutter because I feel her next to me, she wants me to tell them everything. "Rory helps me with math," I hesitate." And I was also…"

"Your girlfriend, right?" Dad is helping me. "Ex. Nice to meet you," he extends his hand in a friendly manner.

"Love?" That's all Hades whispers.

"Do you have something to tell us?" Mina nudges me complicitly.

I moisten my lips.

"You don't ask me how I got here? What did I do? Come on Candy, it's like you didn't miss me at all! You have 20 minutes until you get in and then they'll take you back to that hole. What's Rosa doing? What about the girls? Madge, Jackie… Kim? I heard you have a new bunk mate."

"Donna," I agree. "It's a pain in the ass. Arthur was here..."

"Arthur!" She sees him and hugs him. "Oh my! You've gotten a little rounder. I take it this little bastard still gets you that pudding?"

"Make it work" is a way of saying I'm giving him my share. Just like "pudding" most of the time means all three meals. But that's okay because it only happens once every two days.

"She still asks for the phone," he shrugs. "But these things are already between friends. Just look at how pleased Tate is with her."

"Who is Tate?" Hades asks.

I pray to everything holy that he doesn't say anything. I signal him not to. To be quiet. For me. To keep his mouth shut and I signal him. Dad knows something. I don't think he fully understands the situation but he suspects. He asked me once what I was offering in exchange for unlimited phone access and I jokingly told him products and services.

"The other guard on the phone," Travis answers. "Our Candy sucks him for the phone."

"No," that's all I'm saying. "Not to mention that I need that phone."

"You don't call me," he shrugs. "Only once every 3-4 days."

He's upset. I used to call him every day, but I've been calling less for a while now.

"She's calling me," Gerald sighs. "And she has other things to do," he comes to me and defends me. "Come with me," he asks. "And ahh… Hades. Yes. I want you to help me with something. Can we, can't we? Two minutes," he looked at Arthur.

"Not really... I should..."

"Please, Artie," I whisper. "Just this once."

He sighs. He gives in to me but I know why. It's because he's looking at my family. At my friends. It's because he's staring at the watch on Hades' wrist, expensive and from his father. He's looking at my clothes, my father's. He's seen the cars they came in. He sees the gold around Artemis's neck and the latest generation phones they're all pressing. He recognizes the brand on Delilah's bag and I signal my father to slip something into his pocket. Money. Arthur sees it and wants money.

Part of me is glad that Apollo has nothing to say about his son coming with us. The other part is aware, however, of Dad's sudden desire to be alone. He doesn't want him to be alone with us. I know him. He wants us to be with each other. Let's talk.

"Candy?" Gerald asks.

"Because of my hair," I'll explain quickly. "They used to tell me I looked like candy or cotton candy. Like Candy. It's no big deal."

"Yeah. Of course not. And how do you get pudding for the guard?"

"I tell or write stories for a cook's granddaughters."

It's part of the truth. He looks at me for a long time and sighs. He looks at Hades who just looks me up and down.

"And what did Travis say about the other guard then?"

"Nobody does me favors for nothing, Dad," I press my hands to my chest. "I'm the youngest there, I don't even have to be pretty because that's enough. Tate wants sexual favors in return so he gets them. The fact that I can control what happens to that phone is one of the few things that keeps me sane and safe. No matter what I see or hear, no one gets mad at me because I'm friends with the guards. Because one word from me and neither Tate nor Arthur would let him call home for weeks. It's all I have. I know you don't like it, that you don't like to hear it but it's the truth."

"Survive as best you can," Hades whispers as if he understands me perfectly.

"Yes. Exactly. I'm sorry if I disappoint you, Dad. Honestly. But prostitution is not even close to the worst thing I've done and I won't regret it now."

"No, sigh. No… Rory. You were fighting with her at first, right?"

"I wasn't arguing. I just... It's not easy, I hesitate. And Rory is difficult too. Is that why you brought us here?"

It's like he's just now remembering that he's Hades too. He was looking at her. He shook his head.

"He wants to talk to you."

"I don't want him to..." I start.

"You do. You need friends and you care about each other. You need someone who cares so talk. You have 15 minutes.. I'll wait at the door, I'll… wait for you outside and make sure no one comes in. Travis will hate the idea but Apollo is on my side."