Chapter 84 HARPER
I hadn't meant to dance with Tyler. Not here, not tonight, and definitely not with Mark and his entire family present.
But Megan had not seen it as a problem when she nudged me forward with a grin and said, “Go make Mister Grumpy join along.”
I should have said no. I should have laughed it off, waved her away, stayed planted where I was. Instead, I let myself be pulled into the moment, into the music, into Tyler’s space.
And for a few minutes, it had been perfect. The best few minutes of my life, if I was being honest. Seeing him smile like that, open and unrestrained. Feeling his attention settle on me as if nothing else existed. The warmth of his hand at my waist, grounding in a way I hadn't expected. I hadn't wanted it to end. I had come dangerously close to losing myself in those piercing blue eyes, the ones that always seemed to see right through me.
But the spell broke the second Mark’s hand slipped around my waist, guiding me away from the noise, away from the lights, away from Tyler.
Now, as we stepped outside into the cold night air, regret curled low in my chest.
I had promised myself I would forget Tyler. That I would focus on Mark, on us, on building something stable and real. Yet somehow everything had unraveled the moment I danced with him.
I didn’t like the way my chest felt. Tight and unsettled. And I didn’t like the stiffness in Mark’s hand resting at the small of my back as the door closed behind us.
The sounds of laughter and music dulled, replaced by quiet and the faint crunch of snow beneath our shoes. Christmas lights glowed along the edges of the house, their colors soft against the dark. My breath fogged in front of me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, turning to face him once we were well away from everyone else.
He released me and ran a hand through his hair, the other disappearing into his pocket. He looked composed, almost too composed. Dressed in a green Christmas sweater that fit him perfectly, paired with neatly pressed pants and polished shoes, he looked like someone who had everything figured out. Like someone who knew what he wanted and how to get it.
He looked good. Insanely good.
It still baffled me that I didn’t get butterflies just from looking at him. I supposed whoever said looks were not enough to make someone fall in love had been right.
“Did I mention that green is definitely your color?” I said, stepping closer. I rubbed my thumb along his chin affectionately before adjusting the front of his sweater. “You look amazing.”
He didn’t react. No smile. No teasing remark. Nothing.
That confirmed it. Whatever this was, it had everything to do with my dance earlier.
I opened my mouth, ready to fill the silence with something, anything, when he reached for my hand and covered it with his.
“Harper,” he began. His eyes flicked to my lips before returning to my gaze. “You know how crazy I am about you, right? I might not always express myself the best way, but I try. There's no girl on this planet who could ever make me feel like this again.”
My throat tightened. I didn’t like where this was going, but I forced an affectionate smile to stay in place.
“Remember when you asked me if relationships had to be fifty fifty?” he continued. “It’s safe to say I’m definitely more in love with you than you are with me.”
“That’s not—” I started to say, instinctively.
He shook his head gently and lifted my hand to his lips. “And that’s okay. I just need you to be honest with me. Please. For me. For us.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, willing my nerves to settle. I didn’t want him to see just how anxious I felt.
“Of course,” I managed. “I’ve never lied to you before.”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say this without it coming out wrong. Please don't get offended if it does, okay?”
My pulse quickened. “Okay.”
“Do you have feelings for Tyler?”
The world seemed to pause.
My body went rigid, my thoughts scattering all at once. His words echoed in my head, losing meaning as I stared at him, blank and unmoving, as if my brain had shut down entirely.
“Harper?” he said softly, taking a step closer. “You can tell me the truth. I promise I won't be mad. It’ll hurt, sure, but I’ll appreciate the honesty.”
I swallowed hard. “Why would you ask that?”
He exhaled slowly and released my hand, dragging both hands through his hair like he was trying to hold himself together.
“I don’t know. When I saw you two dancing, the way you held each other’s gaze, how naturally you moved together. The way Tyler looked at you. I even joked about the chemistry, but neither of you reacted. It felt like the rest of us disappeared. Like I was interrupting something.”
My chest ached. My stomach twisted, making me feel sick.
Did I have feelings for Tyler? Yes.
Did he have feelings for me? Probably.
Did I think dating him would actually work? No. Or at least not without everything falling apart.
I couldn’t destroy the one stable thing in my life for a possibility. But I couldn't lie either.
A laugh escaped me. It came out strained and uneven. “Wow. I guess I’ll take that as a compliment. Tyler's just a really good dance partner. That’s all.”
I hesitated, then added, “Other than pity and friendship, I don’t have feelings for him that go beyond platonic.”
It wasn’t the whole truth. But it wasn’t a lie either.
Mark studied my face, his eyes searching for something. I reached up slowly, sliding my fingers along his neck, stepping closer until my body pressed into his. I lifted my chin and kissed him.
At first, it was tentative. Then it deepened.
I let myself focus on the moment, on the familiar comfort of him, on the decision I was making. Our lips moved together, unhurried, deliberate. I poured my guilt and my resolve into the kiss, letting it say what words could not.
When I pulled back, we were both breathing harder. His hands rested at my neck, his expression softened.
“I know I’ve never said this before,” I whispered, resting my forehead against his. "Because I thought dating my best friend’s brother would make everything complicated and awkward. But it didn't—or I just honestly don't care anymore. I love you, Mark. I want to try. I really do.”
He answered by kissing me again, relief evident in the way he held me. I welcomed the warmth, welcomed how the tension in my chest eased just a little.
I still had feelings for Tyler. That truth didn’t vanish just because I wanted it to. But what I hadn't allowed myself to see before was that I also had feelings for Mark. Something more than friendship. Something more than seeing him as a replacement. He was kind. Attentive. Caring. Everything anyone in their right mind would want. My heart wasn't foolish enough to throw that away.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For doubting you.”
I lifted a finger to his lips, stopping him before he could say anything else. The contact made his breath hitch, and that alone sent a small thrill through me.
“I have a better idea,” I said softly.
His eyes darkened, already guessing. “Just say where.”
I tilted my head, letting my gaze drift slowly from his eyes to his mouth. I traced my finger along his lower lip, deliberately, then pulled it back and tucked it between my own lips for a second, watching the effect it had on him.
Mark sucked in a breath.
The cold air, the lights from inside, the muffled sound of music behind us all faded into the background. There was only the way his attention locked onto me, unbroken and hungry.
“What do you think,” I murmured, pressing closer, lowering my voice until it felt like the space between us disappeared, “about taking this somewhere a little quieter?”