Chapter 80 HARPER
My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it might explode.
Twice.
In less than twenty-four hours, Tyler had tried to kiss me. That was if lips brushing even counted as an actual kiss. And twice, I had found myself reaching for him, consequences be damned. If Mark’s face hadn’t flashed through my mind at the last second, I would have let myself get lost in those blue eyes of his.
I ran, not stopping until I was sure there was no way he could catch up to me if he decided to follow. My chest felt tight, aching with pain and longing, screaming at me to turn around instead of leaving him standing there. But guilt and conscience kept me from turning back.They were the only things keeping me from becoming a cheater.
I hailed a cab and climbed into the backseat, my fingers drifting to my lower lip where the phantom warmth of Tyler’s touch still lingered. This was something I had dreamed of for a long time. Something I wanted. Yet somehow, I had managed to ruin it twice. I doubted Tyler would ever forgive me.
What would he think of me, almost cheating on his friend like that? Would he tell Mark? Would the team label me as one of those hockey-obsessed girls willing to sleep with anyone in a jersey?
Those thoughts churned relentlessly in my mind by the time the cab pulled up in front of my building.
I stepped out and tipped the driver just as my phone rang. My stomach dropped when Mark’s name flashed across the screen. Had Tyler already told him what happened? Or maybe Peter had?
The mere thought made my head throb. Taking a calming breath, I accepted the call and lifted the phone to my ear.
“Hey, babe,” Mark said in his usual oblivious, cheerful tone. “Are you busy right now?”
I wanted to say yes. If I said no, he would probably ask to see me, and I’d already lied enough for one day. My mouth betrayed me.
“No,” I heard myself say. “Is something up?”
“Nah, I just wanted to hang out. After last night’s conversation, I haven’t heard from you.”
“Oh,” I muttered, my chest tightening in that familiar, painful way.
“Yeah.” There was a brief pause on the line. I wondered if I should fill it, even though I had no idea what to say. Thankfully, he spoke again.
“Mom’s throwing a Christmas Eve dinner since I won’t be home tomorrow because of the team’s punishment. She told us to invite friends. I know you probably have your own traditions, or maybe something your family does since you haven’t celebrated the holidays with us in a while, like when we were kids. But I was thinking, since, you know, we’re dating—don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to force or emotionally blackmail you into anything—”
“Yes, Mark,” I cut in gently. My throat burned as I imagined how cute and nervous he probably looked on the other end of the call. Still, my heart refused to appreciate the wonderful boyfriend he was. “You don’t have to ask me twice. I’d love to spend the evening with my boyfriend. Who wouldn’t?”
I heard his quiet sigh of relief, and despite everything, a small smile tugged at my lips. Who would find someone this sweet so hard to love? Maybe I was broken. That would explain a lot.
“For a second, I thought you were going to turn me down,” he chuckled.
“What? Why would you think that?” I asked as I reached my front door and knocked.
“I don’t know. With Tyler’s session, your parents’ divorce like you mentioned… I figured you might not be feeling very festive.”
He wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t.
I swallowed back a sigh, forcing cheer into my voice as I reached for the doorknob, surprised to find it locked. Sam was usually careless about things like that.
“Maybe I’m not as festive as last year,” I said carefully, “but seeing you would really help right now.” The lie slid off my tongue too easily. “But let’s say I didn’t feel like attending. What would you do then?”
“That’s okay too,” he replied almost instantly, like he’d already rehearsed the answer. “I’d come over with your favorite food, stay and talk if you want, or just sit with you. Whatever makes you comfortable. If you don’t want to celebrate, that’s fine. Your happiness always comes first, babe. I hope you know that.”
Something sharp pricked my chest. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I’d love to come over. I could really use your company and a bit of festivity.”
“I promise I’ll make sure you have fun. And if you feel even the slightest irritation, we can always leave,” he reassured me.
“Okay then,” I said, glancing at my phone. It was 12:30 p.m. Christmas dinner would probably start around six. “You can pick me up anytime in the next two hours.”
“Can’t wait. Catch you later, babe. I love you.”
I opened my mouth to say it back, but the words lodged in my throat. Mark didn’t point it out. He never did. He chuckled softly, said goodbye, and ended the call.
Guilt stabbed at me, but I brushed it aside. I would make things right tonight. Whatever closure I needed with Tyler, I’d already gotten it. He might have grown softer around me because of how much time we’d spent together during his sessions, but he never once confessed to liking me beyond friendship. And it didn’t matter anymore.
I slapped my palm against the door. “Sam? Can you please open the damn door?”
No response.
I waited a few seconds, then raised my hand to knock again when I heard hurried movements inside. The door finally swung open.
“What the hell were you doing—” My words died as I took in the sight before me.
A towel hung loosely around his waist, sweat beading across his chest. And as if that wasn’t enough to answer my question, a brunette wearing nothing but underwear peeked out from behind him.
My stomach sank.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
The girl’s eyes widened in instant recognition.