No idea

SIXTY

LEONE

For three days, I was lost. I had no idea what I was going to do. Lynn wasn’t talking to me, and everything seemed to be pulling down harshly on me. I was lost in my own thoughts and feelings. It was a miracle to actually come home.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner was a nightmare, and I was living right in it. I tried to get myself to call mom, but I wasn’t mentally ready for that. To me, I had done the wrong thing, and no matter how much I picked up the phone, I kept dropping it down.

It was messed up situation, because I had fought hell and brimstone to get mom back to my life, and now, I was letting her go like it was nothing. I wished with all I had that I didn’t have to live my life in that form, and everything was a bit ok.

Now, I strung my bag as I came home dejectedly. Dad was in the sitting area and was sipping something from the cup as he went through some documents. I pretended like I didn’t know he was there. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. I hated his guts so much and he made me infuriated half of the time.

“I can see you, you know?” He said quietly, stopping me in my tracks.

I said nothing in my defence. My hands curled around my bag, and the rage seemed to seep through the core of me, causing me to be momentarily blinded by my environment. I didn’t care about this man, and I wanted him to stay away from me.

“I see, you’re not going to say anything, so I would definitely do the honours. Have you become less volatile because what you said three days ago is definitely not like the son I know? If you have, then I can fix the date for you,” he said easily.

I looked at him then, the coldness running through my pores. I was beyond angry with how things were, and the way he tried to make it seem as though he could literally make me sway on my own thoughts. He honestly couldn’t do that, so what was all these that he was trying to pull off?

“So…”

“My answer is still no, dad. So, give it a rest,” I snapped coldly.

I walked away from him, while he kept shouting from his seat. Moving as fast as I could, I ran into my room, and snapped the door shut. Isabella was right there, playing with my tablet. I tried to rearrange my expression for her sake.

“Hey, pumpkin,” I greeted.

She looked up from the tablet, and looked at me. I could tell that she was slightly taken aback that I had caught her, but I didn’t care that much.

“What are you doing here so early, brother?”

I sighed. “This is my room, Isabella. I don’t need to answer any more of your crazy questions, so please let it go already,” I said with a sight.

It was then that I realised what I said, and I tried to cover up, but Isabella ran away from the room. I was so tired. This was the most stressful moment of my life, but I would have to bear it for the time being. I made a move to the bathroom, and stripped my clothes.

The cold shower did nothing to make my mood better. Lynn didn’t let me bring her back from school. She simply hated my existence and she wasn’t afraid to let me know this truth. What would I do to get her back again?

The answer to that question was lost on me. I hit my hand on the wall in a bid to soften the pain, but it ended making things worse. I had to speak to her. If I kept on like this, I had no idea what could happen to me.

Lynn was my centre and gravity. With her, I could do whatever I wanted, but while she was away, I wasn’t able to fight my battle one bit, and became the shell of myself. I couldn’t let that continue anymore. She had to talk to me. I was pretty sure that she wouldn’t be so mad that she couldn’t forgive me.

I switched off the shower head, and stepped out of the bathroom in my towel. I picked up some comfy shorts and shirt to wear, and then made my way out of the room. The truth is that I couldn’t just get into Lynn’s room like that. I had to check if there was someone around. I went to the balcony, and looked down. Dad wasn’t where he had being earlier. But, I couldn’t be so reckless, so I moved to the laundry room, where I asked the servants if dad was home.

They informed me that Dad had taken Isabella to the ice cream shop because she had thrown a tantrum that I had driven her out of my room. This was just perfect, but still, it gave me ample opportunity to do what I needed to do.

The moment I stepped out of the laundry room, I went directly to Lynn’s room and knocked. She didn’t respond, acting like she wasn’t there.

“Lynn, please open the door. I don’t have much time, and I need to speak to you. It would help us clear up all misunderstandings,” I mumbled, looking around to be sure that no-one was coming around.

I waited for sometime, as I shifted from foot to foot. This was a dicey situation, and if I got caught, I had no idea whether they would believe the made up lies in my head, so I had to be slightly careful for now. It was the best for me.

“Lynn, please …”

The door sprang open and Lynette looked at me through it. Her eyes were bloodshot, and it tore at my heartstrings. She had being in such a pain for a long time, and I had no idea what I could do to make her feel better.

“I need to talk to you,” I managed.

She scoffed as she went into the room. I took that as my opportunity to go in, and I locked the door carefully to be sure no-one would see us in a compromising situation.

“What do you want?” She queried, going straight to the point.

I swallowed the lump that had pulled in my throat, and looked at her head-on. The whole thing was so messed up, but I hoped I could touch her heart with my words, even though, I had no idea what I should say at that moment. Nothing I would say would look so bearable, but still, it was still for the best if I was open.

“You don’t know what to say? So, why did you come here, Leone? Did you can tell me that you had no idea about the engagement, or that you didn’t mean to take my virginity when you knew all we had was going to be tagged a lie but the world? Then, I would easily forgive you like I have no sense? Or, I would come back to you like I couldn’t breath without you, eh? Is that it?”

I stared at her in shock. “That is not true. I know you love me, and this is a messed up situation. We would have to win through this.”

She laughed coldly.”Oh, please, stop it,” she said as she moved away from where she stood, and sat on the bed.

I swallowed hard as I watched her sway. This was not what I wanted, and I had no idea how to make this right. It was just a completely painful situation that I was so ashamed of.

I walked over to her as I sat down beside her, causing her to avert her face from me like she didn’t wish for me to feel her pain.

“I’m sorry, Lynn. I know I have caused you so much pain. You’ve stood by me through my mood swings and my weakest points. I don’t think I can understand anything if you’re not there with me. I want us to be able to live better, knowing that there is nothing that can’t be handled by us if we put our mind to it…”

“What are you saying exactly?” She snapped.

I stared at her. “I’m trying to say, we can’t give up on us. We have to do something to make dad see…” I trailed off.

She sighed as she shifted on the bed, to look at me. Her eyes were filled with pity and sadness. “What ate you going to tell your dad, eh?”

I bit my lip, but in the moment of madness I found myself holding onto her hands. “Anything, but I won’t loose you. I love you so much, Lynn,” I said fiercely as I kissed her hands.

She let me, and when I rose my head ever so lightly, her lips was literally in my face, and I made a move to capture it in my lips, but she snatched her hands as she got to her feet.

“You have no idea what you want for yourself. So, please leave. We can’t continue this any more. It would only lead to more heartbreak,” she said firmly, shattering my heart into pieces.