Dilemma

Dilemma
Imagine being locked in a cell for weeks. The only sight you get to witness would be a
hanging dead body. And when that body was taken away from your sight, your eyes would
get blindfolded, leaving you in a dilemma about which condition was better.
Witnessing a dead body?
Or being blindfolded for an immeasurable time?
You would cry tears of joy when a ten-minute meal was served to you, so you could witness
the outer world, which was nothing but a dark cell.
And not only this, while you were locked up in that cell with a blindfold on, the only sense
you were left with was your hearing. And only certain words were being fed into your ears
for hours and hours.
Hours that would seem like days, weeks, years.
Words that would contain etiquettes, ethics, rules, and regulations of what belonging to him
would mean. Words that would be played in your ears like a tape of belonging to him. And
you would be made to repeat those words. You would have to put up a facade that you
agreed. You would have to assure those men that you agreed with them, fearing the
punishment they were able to bestow upon you.
You were already broken, and they would tell you that you killed your best friend, Hannan,
and an innocent, Khaleda. And now the life of your friend-like sister, Amna, was in your
hands. They would tell you to sign the documents when he asked you to do so. They would
tell you if you dared misbehave in front of him in any way, then you would be kept in this
cell forever.
And once, when you made the mistake of challenging them, they took off your blindfold and
placed a gun in your hand, forcing you to shoot none other than your friend, Amna. After
continuous begging, they would at last stop and free Amna, yet slowly, it would be killing
your spirit.
The spirit to fight.
And strengthening your will to surrender.
While being alone in a cell that would haunt you in unimaginable ways, you would strive to
get human interaction. A normal "hello." Yet all you would get were these sentences being
fed into your brain:You are Shehryaar's property.The only human interaction you got.
Your mental state deteriorating day by day. Slowly. Gradually. To the point that you started
to believe those words. That your spirit to fight was completely dead. Your brain, your
mind, unable to sustain any more torture, began to surrender. You wouldn't notice the
gradual change occurring within you.
The first stage.
When you started to get dreams, where you would see nothing but words exploding in your
ears. Screaming. Entrenching in your mind. And even if you saw anything, it would be the
faces of Hannan and Khaleda with the words playing like music in your mind:You killed
them.
You would try to ignore those words. Try to push them to the back of your mind. But the
more you pushed, the more they were highlighted in your mind. You would keep trying to
fight it. But all the fights would become futile when they paid you a visit. Torturing you to no
extent. Mental torture. Physical punishments. Breaking your will. But you would still try to
fight back.
The second stage.
When you started to subconsciously recite those words being fed into your ears. Alone in a
cell. Bound to chains. When you hadn’t moved a limb properly since day one in the cell, with
your lips shivering and uttering the same words repeatedly. With the minimal food you got,
the fighting spirit within you gradually died. No physical strength led to no mental strength.
And the last stage.
When the wordShehryaaralone would make goosebumps rise on your body. Whenever his
name was mentioned, your mind would start listing out the rules. The rules when he would
be around. The feeling of being a belonging, being a possession, being a thing, encompassing
you. With you clicking off all your emotions as you had been told. As you had been told that
you had no will, and all would happen as he said.
And when the same man asked you to sign a contract to be his personal slave, you were in
nothing but a dilemma.
The same dilemma that Sheharzaad was facing now.
It was killing her.
With all the mental torture and brainwashing she went through, there was this sane part in
her, a remnant of her old self, which knew she couldn't afford to sign this contract.
And this brought tears to her eyes as she kept fearfully looking at him.
She was aware she couldn't displease him with a no, and this increased her fear tenfold.
What had been fed to her and what her mind now believed—that he was her owner—left
her with no other option but to agree with him. She couldn’t find the spirit inside her. He
stood in front of her, staring into her eyes, waiting for a response.
She wanted to shout. Scream. Complain about what he had done to her. But she felt her
tongue locked. She felt herself caged. She couldn’t bring a no to her tongue. It felt like her
mind was paralyzed. As if her brain had stopped working. She was struggling with her inner
self. No matter how much she struggled to gather courage and deny him, it all went down
the drain. All her efforts were futile. As he stood in front of her, she found herself weak. She
felt herself being his property. She felt incarcerated.
She was aware that he was waiting for her response. And according to what had been
taught to her, she wasn’t supposed to make him wait. This skyrocketed her fear. She
couldn’t get out of her mind and face reality. The dilemma had completely jabbed her
senses.
"Are you?" he asked again.
And she felt the dilemma in herself skyrocketed.