Chapter 99 #99

Chapter 99 #99
Chapter 99

~Shailyn's POV~

Dante comes home two hours later, and I'm in the kitchen pretending to be busy with dinner prep.

"Hey, baby," he says, kissing my cheek. "Sorry I'm late."

"Where were you?"

"Just had some errands to run. Nothing important."

"What kind of errands?"

He pauses, then smiles. "Boring business stuff. Why? Did you miss me?"

"Just curious. You've been gone for a while."

"I went to meet with someone about a donation. For a community center project."

"A donation? That's nice."

"Yeah, just routine stuff. How was your day?"

"Fine. Just rested mostly."

"Good. You need rest." He wraps his arms around me from behind. "The babies need you healthy."

"I know."

He kisses my neck. "I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"The New Year's party. I need you to make it exceptional. Better than exceptional. Perfect."

"I'm already working on it."

"I know. But Gramps extended the deadline for the company's new phase project. Which means I need to prove myself in other ways."

"Through a party?"

"Through everything. And you're organizing this party, which reflects on me."

"No pressure, right?"

"I know you can do it. You're amazing at this stuff."

I pull away from him. "I'll do my best." I answer in a monotone voice. 

"That's all I ask."

He goes upstairs to change, and I stand in the kitchen, staring at the vegetables I was supposed to be chopping.

Something doesn't feel right.

But I can't put my finger on what.

\---

I meet Hannah at a small café across town the next morning. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere safe.

She's already there when I arrive, two lattes on the table.

"Decaf for you," she says, pushing one toward me. "Regular for me because I need the caffeine."

"Thanks."

"So. What's going on? You sounded stressed on the phone."

I take a breath. "I don't know how to explain this."

"Try. I'm listening."

"It's Dante. Something feels... off."

"Off how?"

"I can't explain it. Just little things. The way he answers questions. The way he looks at me sometimes. Like he's hiding something."

"Did something happen?"

"No. Not really. Maybe. I don't know."

"Shay, you're spiraling. Talk to me. What's really going on?"

I grip my coffee cup. "I don't think I love him."

The words hang in the air between us.

Hannah doesn't look surprised. "Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Shay, I've suspected and known this for a while."

"You have? So you mean that before I lost my memory I didn't love him?

"No Shay, that's not what I'm saying. I didn't know your personal life well enough with Dante to judge. But now, the way you talk about him. It's always what he does for you, not how he makes you feel."

"Is that bad?"

"It's telling. So let me ask you, how does Dante make you feel?"

"Safe. Grateful. Comfortable."

"And?"

"And... that's it."

"No butterflies? No excitement? No can't-wait-to-see-him feeling?"

"No."

"Shay—"

"But that's normal, right? After five years of marriage? The butterflies fade. It's supposed to be comfortable."

"Comfortable is different from numbness."

"I'm not numb."

"Aren't you? When's the last time your heart raced when he walked in a room?"

I can't answer that.

"Exactly," Hannah says gently. "Shay, I think you know something's wrong. You just don't want to admit it."

"What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just confused because of the memory loss?"

"Then we figure it out. But ignoring your gut isn't going to help."

I lean back in my chair. "There's something else."

"What?"

"I've been having nightmares. About Dante."

"What kind of nightmares?"

"He's choking me. Calling me names. Saying the babies aren't his. Calling me a whore."

"Jesus, Shay."

"It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything."

"Or it means your subconscious is trying to tell you something."

"Like what?"

"Like maybe you don't trust him as much as you think you do."

"But why wouldn't I trust him? He's been nothing but supportive."

"Has he? Or has he been controlling?"

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it? Think about it. He tells you what to do. How to feel. Who to trust."

"He's just protective."

"Or possessive."

I'm quiet for a moment. "What do I do?"

"You investigate. Quietly. Carefully."

"Investigate what?"

"Your life. Your marriage. Your memories."

"How?"

"You said you've been having new memories lately, right?"

"A few. Like meeting you for the first time."

"Exactly. And what triggered that memory?"

"Being with you. Talking to you."

"So maybe being in familiar places, around familiar things, will trigger more memories."

"You think so?"

"It's worth trying. Start with your bedroom. Your shared spaces. Go through things. Touch things. See what comes up."

"That feels invasive."

"It's your bedroom. Your stuff. How is that invasive?"

"I don't know. It just feels wrong."

"Shay, you have a right to know your own life. Your own past."

"But what if Dante catches me?"

"Then do it when he's not home. When he's at work or out with Tyler."

"And what am I looking for exactly?"

"Anything. Everything. Photos. Letters. Journals. Things that might spark a memory."

"What if I don't find anything?"

"Then at least you tried. But Shay, you need to do this. For yourself."

I take a sip of my coffee. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of what I might remember. Of what I might find out."

"I know. But living in uncertainty is worse than knowing the truth."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Because at least with the truth, you can make real decisions. Right now, you're just existing."

"Maybe existing is safer."

"Safer isn't better. And you deserve better."

I look at her. "When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been wise. You just forgot."

I almost laugh. "Fair point."

"So you'll do it? You'll check your room?"

"I'll think about it."

"Shay—"

"I said I'll think about it. That's the best I can do right now."

"Okay. But don't wait too long. The longer you wait, the harder it gets."

"I know."

We sit in silence for a moment, both sipping our coffee.

"Hannah?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For listening. For not judging."

"That's what friends do. And Shay? Whatever you find, whatever you remember, I'm here. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And one more thing."

"What?"

"Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is."

I nod slowly. "My instincts are all over the place right now."

"Then start sorting them out. One feeling at a time."

"How?"

"By being honest with yourself. Even when it's scary."

"Everything's scary right now."

"I know. But you're stronger than you think."

"Am I?"

"Yes. You are. You just need to remember that."

I finish my coffee and stand. "I should get back before Dante wonders where I am."

"You don't have to report your every move to him, you know."

"I know. But it's easier than dealing with questions."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"Hannah—"

"I'm just saying. Think about it."

"I will. I promise."

We hug, and I head back to my car.

As I drive home, Hannah's words echo in my mind.

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

Something definitely feels off.

I just need to figure out what.

And maybe, just maybe, searching the bedroom will give me answers.

Or at least help me remember who I used to be.

Before everything changed.

Before I became this version of myself that doesn't quite fit.

I pull into the driveway and see Dante's car is gone.

Perfect.

Now or never.