Chapter 50 #50
Chapter 50
~Shailyn~
I went back upstairs, my mind replaying the conversation with Dwayne over and over. There was something about talking to him that brought this unexpected peace, this sense of safety I couldn't quite explain. The words had just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, honest and raw in a way I rarely allowed myself to be.
I pushed open the bedroom door quietly and found Dante still sleeping, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The moonlight filtering through the curtains cast shadows across his face, making him look almost angelic.
Guilt crashed over me immediately.
What was I doing? Why had I felt so comfortable opening up to Dwayne when my husband was right here? Dante had been nothing but sweet to me since I'd woken up from my accident. He'd been patient, caring, devoted. He'd created a perfect nursery for our baby. He'd held me when I cried, supported me when I was scared.
So why did talking to his brother feel like coming home?
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thought. It was wrong. Inappropriate. Dante was my husband, the father of my child. My loyalty should be to him, not to late-night conversations with Dwayne in the gym.
I moved quietly across the room, grabbing my laptop from where I'd left it on the desk. Sleep felt impossible now, my mind too wired, too full of conflicting emotions I didn't want to examine.
Work. I could focus on work.
I settled into the chair, pulling up Dante's project files. The code welcomed me like an old friend, familiar patterns and logic that made sense in ways human emotions never did.
This had to be perfect. For Dante. For us. For our future.
My fingers flew across the keyboard, implementing new features, optimizing algorithms, debugging issues I'd identified earlier. Hours passed without me noticing, the outside world fading away as I lost myself in the work.
My phone started ringing.
I glanced at the screen, surprised to see Hannah's name. I had unblocked her out of guilt earlier. What does she want now?
My finger hovered over the decline button. Every logical part of my brain told me to ignore it, to not engage, to maintain the boundary I'd set.
But something made me answer. But before then, I stepped out so Dante won't hear.
"Hello?"
"Shay!" Hannah's voice came through, relieved and slightly breathless. "Glad you picked my call today."
I sighed, closing my laptop. "Just cut to the chase. What do you want?"
There was a pause, and I could hear Hannah take a long breath before speaking again. "I just want to go out with you, Shaylin. I know you feel overwhelmed and there's a lot going on with you. I could tell from your face. I promise, I won't say anything about... you know. Just you and me. In a place where you can have fun and enjoy yourself."
I rubbed my eyes, exhaustion suddenly hitting me like a wave. The thought of getting out of the manor, away from the weight of everyone's expectations and careful observations, was unexpectedly appealing.
"Okay, Hannah," I heard myself say. "Where?"
"Yay!!" Her excitement was palpable even through the phone. "I wasn't thinking you'd not agree."
"I just want to forget everything, Hannah," I said quietly. "Just for a few hours."
"It's fine, I understand," Hannah said, her voice softening. "How about Riverside Park? We can meet at the entrance at two o'clock?"
"Okay."
"Great! I'll see you then. Bye, Shay."
"Bye."
I hung up and stared at the phone for a long moment. What was I doing? But even as the doubt crept in, I knew I was going to go. I needed this. I needed to feel like myself, whoever that was, for just a little while.
…
At exactly two o'clock, I found myself standing at the entrance to Riverside Park, scanning the crowd for Hannah's familiar face. I'd told Dante I was going shopping, which wasn't technically a lie. I'd been shopping. I just happened to be meeting Hannah afterward.
"Shay!" Hannah waved from near the fountain, her face breaking into a genuine smile when she saw me.
"Hi," I said, walking over to her.
She immediately pulled me into a hug, which I returned awkwardly. "Thank you for coming. I know things have been... complicated between us."
"Let's not talk about that today," I said, pulling back. "You promised."
"I did," Hannah agreed, linking her arm through mine. "Come on. I got us ice cream. Your favorite."
"Strawberry with caramel drizzle," Hannah said with a knowing smile. "Trust me."
We walked through the park, the afternoon sun warm on our faces. She told me about a disastrous blind date her sister had set up, making me laugh with her dramatic reenactment.
"And then," Hannah said, gesturing wildly with her ice cream cone, "he actually asked if I wanted to come back to his place to see his boxer's collection!"
"No!" I gasped, laughing.
"Yes! Who talks about boxers on a first date?"
"Someone very confident in their boxer?"
Hannah snorted. "Well, I hope he and his boxers are very happy together."
We found a bench overlooking the lake and sat down, watching children play nearby while their parents chatted in small groups.
"This is nice," I said after a moment of comfortable silence. "Just being normal."
"You deserve normal, Shay," Hannah said quietly. "You deserve to feel like yourself."
"I don't even know who that is anymore," I admitted, staring out at the water. "Everyone keeps telling me who I was, who I should be, but none of it feels real. It's like trying to wear someone else's clothes that almost fit but not quite."
Hannah reached over and squeezed my hand. "The memories will come back. And when they do…"
"You promised," I reminded her.
"I know, I know," she said quickly. "No talking about... that. I'm just saying, when they come back, you'll figure out who you really are. Not who anyone else says you are."
We sat there for a while longer, finishing our ice cream, watching the world go by.
"Come on," Hannah said, standing up and offering me her hand. "Let's walk around more. There's a really pretty spot by the willow trees."
We walked along the winding paths, passing joggers and dog walkers and families with strollers. The park was beautiful, lush and green, with flowers blooming in carefully maintained beds.
Something about the place felt familiar. Not like I'd been here once or twice, but like I'd spent significant time here. Like these paths knew my footsteps.
"Hannah," I said slowly, "have we been here before?"
She glanced at me, something careful entering her expression. "Yeah. Our first friendship date was here."
I looked around with new eyes, trying to see what past-me had seen. Trying to feel what she had felt.
We continued walking until we reached a grove of willow trees, their long branches creating a natural curtain around a small clearing. Hannah pushed through the branches, and I followed.
The moment I stepped into the clearing, something shifted.
The world tilted.
Images flashed through my mind, vivid and overwhelming. Hannah and I are sitting on the grass, laughing about something. Hannah and I lay side by side, staring up at the sky through the willow branches.
And then..
A face. Cynthia's face.
The image was sharp, crystal clear, but fragmented. But the context was missing. What was she doing? What was she saying? Why was I seeing her face like this?
"Shay? Shay!"
Hannah's voice cut through the vision, anchoring me. I gasped, my eyes flying open, finding Hannah's face inches from mine. She had her hands on my shoulders, steadying me.
"What happened, Shay?" she asked urgently.