Chapter 24
Crossing her arms over her chest, she mentally scolded herself for saying that to Bradley. She hadn’t meant to imply that he scared her. He was the least terrifying person she’d ever met. He was always so kind and caring, and he made her feel things she never knew possible.
Instinctively, she reached up and touched her still tingling lips. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, to feel his arms around her, to taste his lips, to hear his ragged breaths as he stole her ability to think. And God help her, she wanted the weight of his body on top of her, his erection pressing between her legs and hitting all the right spots.
“You’re going to have to give me a little more,” he said, “because I have no idea what you mean.”
She sighed, hoping she could explain what she meant without making things worse. “When I first got together with Danny, things were great. He was so nice to me, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”
Bradley scowled. “Okay, maybe you don’t need to give me that much.”
“Let me finish. Please.” She stared at him with a pleading look. More than anything, she needed him to understand.
He nodded for her to continue.
“Things with Danny were crazy intense at first, and I’ll be the first to admit that it overwhelmed me, but I liked it, y’know?” She paced toward the window, then turned back. “I thought we had something special, but then things changed.” She shrugged and shook her head, frustrated. “I’m not making any sense.”
“No, I get it,” he said and moved around to the other side of the bed. Though he didn’t come too close to her, and she wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or grateful for that.
“What I’m trying to say is… everything I felt with Danny in the beginning of our relationship is nothing compared to what I feel when I’m near you,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “No matter how many times I tell myself that I’m going to stay away from you, I can’t. I’m drawn to you in a way I can’t understand let alone explain.”
“Trust me. I know the feeling,” he muttered and raked his hand through his hair.
Her fingers tingled at the memory of running through his thick, soft locks, of how he’d groaned with pleasure. She dropped her arms and flexed her fingers, but the sensation wouldn’t go away.
“That’s what scares me, Bradley. My inability to stay away from you. My reactions when I am with you. I can’t seem to control any of it.”
He took a step closer, then another. She stiffened. Was he going to touch her? Kiss her? If he did, she wouldn’t be able to tell him no again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. Thankfully, he stopped just in front of her.
“Is that such a bad thing?” He tilted his head, eyes narrowed, studying her. “I’ve never had this reaction to anyone before, either. The only difference is I’m running toward it, not away from it.”
Her shoulders slumped, and the threat of tears burned the back of her throat. She wanted nothing more than to run toward her feelings for him, but how could she when she was still with Danny? And breaking up with him wasn’t as easy as everyone thought.
“Look.” He shifted on his feet, bringing his body closer. “If it wasn’t obvious from the moment we met, then after what happened just now”—he inclined his head toward the bed—“it should be crystal clear how I feel about you.”
She averted her gaze, unable to look at him. She had known right from the start that he liked her, and she returned those feelings, but things were too complicated. Bradley deserved more than what she could give him.
“I’m sorry.” She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eyes. “It was never my intention to lead you on.”
“I know that,” he said, his tone ringing with sincerity.
She buried the urge to rest her head on his chest and sob. Instead, she straightened her shoulders and held her head high. “I think it’s best if you take me home.”
“Is that what you really want?” He raised a brow, everything he wasn’t saying coming across loud and clear.
Hesitating for a moment too long, she ran through all the possibilities in her mind. She could say no, tell him she wanted to stay here longer, that she wanted to hide from the world so that she could be with him. But that wasn’t fair to him, and he was too great of a guy to take advantage of, because she had no doubts if she did say all that, he’d agree.
“Yes, I think it’s best,” she finally said.
“Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll get dressed, and we can go.”
“Thank you.”
With a forced smile, he left and closed the door behind him. Carissa expelled a long, heavy breath. She blinked hard against the tears pooling in her eyes, but her efforts were useless. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away.
Why couldn’t she have met Bradley before Danny? Better yet, why couldn’t she find the strength to leave Danny? He wasn’t the same guy she’d fallen for, and he didn’t really respect her. Not the way she deserved anyway.
Bradley’s promise from earlier whispered through her thoughts. Would he really be waiting for her when she got her shit together? She desperately wanted to believe he would be, but a guy like Bradley wouldn’t be single for long, and any girl who snagged him would be the luckiest girl on the planet.
She could be that girl.
Yeah, right. She huffed, then busied herself with changing back into her clothes from the night before. After making the bed and piling the pajamas she’d borrowed onto the foot of the bed, she left the room.
Bradley stood near the living room window, his back to her, and he was on the phone. She stood silently in the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt him. Yet, she was curious who he was talking to.
“Yeah, we’re leaving in a few minutes so we should be back in a few hours.” He paused. “Sure… Okay… See ya soon.” He lowered the phone from his ear and spun around. “Sorry. Didn’t know you were there.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said quickly. “Everything alright?”
He nodded. “That was Jeremy.” Bradley slid his phone into his pocket. “Ready?”
“Yeah.” She moved toward the front door, both happy and sad to be leaving.
“Did you want to stop by the mall first to get your phone?” he asked as he guided her from the penthouse and down the hall to the elevator.
She really wasn’t in the mood to fight the crowds at a mall, but she did need a new phone, and her father had said he’d call ahead to make sure one was ready for her.
“If you don’t mind,” she said and stepped into the elevator.
“I don’t mind at all.” Bradley pushed the button for the lobby, and they rode down in silence.
Why were things suddenly so awkward? Their make-out sessions had been hotter than hell, so she didn’t think that was the problem. Stopping him and then poorly explaining why was probably the issue. She really needed to learn to keep her mouth shut.
The short drive to the mall was made in silence, too, and Carissa’s thoughts raced with all the things she’d said and done wrong. She analyzed and overanalyzed every word she’d said, every facial expression and move she’d made. Had she done something he hadn’t liked?
Thankfully, the trip into the mall to get her phone went quickly, and she didn’t run into any problems getting her new phone. Her father had even handled the payment, too, and so within minutes, she and Bradley were back in his car and headed home.
She spent the first hour of the trip catching up on all her messages. Considering she’d already talked to Tiffany, Carissa cleared all notifications from her friend, along with ones from Garrett and Cory—she assumed Tiffany had told them what was going on.
The two dozen messages from Danny were another story. At first, his voicemails started out as they always did—sweet and apologetic and begging for her forgiveness—and then they slowly morphed into meaner, nastier messages. She deleted every single voicemail he’d left for her. Then, she turned her attention to all the text messages.
Danny: Went back to find you and you were gone. Where are you?
Danny: I know you’re pissed but this isn’t funny. Where are you?
Danny: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
Danny: Okay, enough. I’m really worried. Please tell me where you are.
Danny: Really? You’re just going to ignore me now? Real mature.
Danny: C’mon, Carissa. Knock it off and talk to me!
Danny: I said I was sorry. What more do you want?
Danny: If you don’t answer me right now, I’m calling the police and then I’m calling your dad.
Carissa’s face grew hotter with each new message she read. Was he for real? He’d left her with no way home and no working phone, and he had the nerve to act like she was in the wrong for not answering him? Her hands shook with anger as she held her fingers poised above the screen. She was so tempted to send him a few nasty messages of her own, but that would only lead to an even bigger argument.
If Tiffany hadn’t bothered to tell Danny that Carissa was okay, then she was going to let him sweat it for a little while longer. That was the least he deserved after what he’d done. But she would check in with her friends.
Carissa: Hey. Got a new phone. Headed back to campus. Be there soon.
Tiffany: Yay! I have so much to tell you!!
Carissa grinned. She could only imagine what gossip Tiffany had to share. Whatever Tiffany needed to say, Carissa couldn’t wait to hear it.
Tiffany: And I want every little detail about your night, too! I mean it! Bradley is way too hot to keep that to yourself.
This time, Carissa laughed out loud, and her cheeks heated even more, though for a completely different reason than before.
“What’s so funny?” Bradley asked. Those were the first words he’d spoken to her since they left the penthouse.
“Nothing.” She tucked her phone under her leg and shifted to stare out the passenger window.
What would happen when she got back to campus? Would she once again forgive Danny, forget his bad behavior, and move on like nothing happened—exactly like she always did? Would Bradley still be around, or had she completely destroyed any hope of a friendship with him? She no longer had any doubts that he wanted a lot more than just friendship, but she couldn’t give him that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
One thing was for certain—she and Danny needed to have a long, serious talk about their relationship, because even though she loved him, she couldn’t keep going on as she had been. Things needed to change if they had any hope of a future.
She reached for her phone and sent him a text before she lost her nerve.
Carissa: Needed some time away from everything. Be home in a couple of hours. We need to talk.
Danny: Happy you’re okay, and yes. We do need to talk. Call me when you’re back.
Her stomach twisted, and she re-read his message a few times. His response was so… cold and detached. Then again, he had been with another girl last night. Maybe he was still with that other girl and couldn’t text. The thought of that didn’t have much of an effect on Carissa. She was just so numb from having been through this with Danny before.
Once again tucking her phone under her leg, she shifted so her body was angled toward Bradley. They were stuck in this car together for another couple of hours, and she couldn’t handle the silence a second longer.
“So, do you like California so far?” she asked.
He sliced a look at her, brow raised. “Yes.”
“I’m curious… Why are you sharing campus housing with three other guys when you could easily afford your own place?”
He shrugged one shoulder in that lazy but confident way he had about him. “Regardless of where I live, I wouldn’t be alone. Jeremy and I always agreed to live together when we moved here.”
“Okay. Still doesn’t explain why you’re living where you are with two other guys you don’t know. I mean, there are much nicer places not too far from campus.”
“I’m sure there are.” He glanced in the rearview mirror, flicked on his turn signal, and switched lanes. “And you’re right. I can afford to live wherever I want, but I left Texas to get away from things. Out here, I just want to be a normal college kid and have a typical college experience.”
Carissa mulled over his words and nodded. “So you’re pretending you’re not rich.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing, too? You don’t need to live in a residence hall on campus, but you are. Why?” His expression held a challenge, and a spark of competitiveness shot through her.
“Because my father can be very controlling, and I needed to get away from that. He offered to pay for me to live off-campus, but doing so meant continuing to live under his rules, and I don’t want to.”
“Fair enough,” he said, then turned on the radio.
Clearly, he was done talking. Carissa blew out a breath, rested her head on the window, and closed her eyes.