Chapter 47 CHAPTER 47

Chapter 47 CHAPTER 47
Cross closed his eyes. A heaviness descended over him. Instinctively, I threaded my fingers through his hair, feeling his breath slow as he relaxed under my touch. When his eyes reopened, they weren't bright, but a stormy sky.

"I’ve known Larissa since middle school," he began. "Our moms were always together in PTA meetings. They naturally got close, so Larissa came over a lot. My mom loved her. She thought she was prettiest girl alive."

"Did you like her?" I asked.

Cross shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking of girls then. It was all video games and football, but her and I did get close. She told me her dad used to hit her mom when he drank too much. It wasn't often, but he was trying to change by going to AA meetings. She was so vulnerable with me that I told her a secret of mine too."

At his paused, I continued to weave my fingers, idly listening to his quiet draws of breath until he continued.

"My mom struggled to love me when I was younger. When she started therapy she got better. She became a different person. Eventually she told me why she was that way. She got pregnant in college...some athlete took advantage of her in a party and raped her." His voice thinned. "I told Larissa that in confidence. Now we had each other's secrets.”

"Larissa had an older sister, which is why at fourteen years old she managed to get into high school parties. She fell in love with some senior guy who wouldn't look at her twice. One day she came over my house crying because he called her an 'inexperienced freshman virgin.’ Poor guy didn't even know she was in eighth grade. I tried to comfort her, but then, she started taking her clothes off.

"I didn't know much about sex then, so I was weirded out. Especially because my mom taught me to never touch a girl in certain areas. To never hit a girl. To never be mean to a girl. She even became a lawyer for sexually abused girls. I'm obviously stronger than Larissa so I...slipped away. I was about to leave when she told me if I didn't do what she wanted, she would tell my mom I forced myself on her.

"My mom and I were finally in a good place. And she loved Larissa. Larissa was perfect in her eyes. I was terrified she would believe her over me and see me like...him." His jaw clenched. "So I just... let her do what she wanted."

I felt my heart slow to a deafening stop. "Oh my gosh… Cross." I whispered. "She raped you."

Cross shot upright, fury flashing across his features. "I did not get raped," he hissed, holding my arms tightly. "I made a decision."

"She threatened you," I whispered. "You didn't want that. That's…"

"No. I made the best choice given the circumstance," he snapped. His stormy eyes rippled darkly, as though speaking about this was making him upset.

My frown deepened. "Is that why you slept around so much? You always say yes to girls because you're afraid they might… "

He cut me off with a harsh humorless laugh. "Please. Don't make me out to be this secretly good person. I'm not. I have sex because I want to. I just hate when girls use it to control me."

I brushed his hair away from his face. He caught my hand and laced our fingers together, agitation vibrating through him like static.

"I don't regret letting her sleep with me. I preferred that over my mom thinking I was a monster. And I would've let it go if she stopped there, but she's not a good person. She would come to me randomly for more experience. To get better for that senior. I don't even know why she liked him. He was so stupid he got left back and had to repeat a year.”

"There came a point I hated her so much my body wouldn't even respond to her. When that happened she'd slap me." He let out a humorless laugh. "Isn't it fucking ironic? She wailed about her dad hitting her mom, but then does the same to me. It kept going until one day I told her I was done. She threatened me again, and that day almost played out exactly the same... until I got a text message from an unknown number.”

"It was a video. The angle was weird, like from the corner of the room. But it caught Larissa threatening me...and it caught the slap. I finally had proof. If she lied to my mom I wasn't helpless anymore."

"Who took that video?" I asked softly.

His first half-smile. "Hilary" he said. "To this day Larissa doesn't know who recorded it. That's how Hilary and I became friends. After that, Larissa tried acting sweet with me, but I wanted nothing to do with her." Cross shook his head. "Her parents divorced soon after that and she switched schools."

I squeezed his hand. "Is that why you get with girls when they offer? Because you're afraid saying no will lead to...something like that happening again?"

Cross sat up, pulling me onto his lap. "No. Like i said before, I have sex because I want to. Besides no one else knows my story to use it against me. But yeah starting that young did make me hypersexual for a while. Sophomore year and junior year I went crazy, not even about enjoying it, but just regaining control. Now I'm in a better place." His arms wrapped around me into a hug. I felt as though he needed it more than me.

"So.." I whispered, "don't you hate sex? Didn't she ruin the experience for you?"

"No." His countenance changed to a familiar ruthlessness, as cruel jagged glass. "But I won't deny something in me enjoys breaking a girl who wants to control me that way. Especially when they get pushy, I just want to tear them to pieces." His hand crushed mine, bringing it to his chest, "but you don't make me feel that way. It's just...you feel like rest.”

My breath caught. "I’m happy you feel safe around me," I said, voice trembling.

Forrest took note of my teary eyes and became grim. "Don't start fucking crying for me, Clara. I'm fine. This is why I didn't want to tell you."

I blinked back tears and took a deep breath. "I’II never leave you alone with her. No matter how many times she tries to apologize."

Cross scoffed. "I don't trust anything she does. She tried messaging me on social media before she came back. but I blocked her,"

I frowned. "I don't understand why she's so set on you. She has hundreds of guys begging for her attention online."

Cross’s eyes narrowed, annoyance lining his brows. "You have a social media account?"

I looked away sheepishly. I mean, it's not like I had many friends anyway. My account would look ridiculous with four-maybe five followers to my name.

"Technically, no.I made one just to watch the funny videos Teddy sends me. But I don't post or follow anyone, and no one follows me." My voice became small. "I used it to search Larissa when she showed up and you didn't say anything. I wanted to figure out who she was."

Cross looked at me with an expression that was part jealousy, part fascination, and part something else I couldn't name.

"Did you ever stalk my account?" he asked.

"No."

He looked genuinely offended. "Why not? Follow me right now."

"I don't have a real account! My username is literally 'user32345’, I barely use it. I don't have a lot of friends, remember?"

"Where's your phone?"

"...upstairs."

Cross crouched down in front of me. "Get on my back."

Before I could protest his hands were already gripping my thighs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he rose effortlessly, carrying me up the stairs so we didn't hit anything. My face brushed the warm skin of his neck, I felt so close now that I knew his secret.

But underneath that comfort, unease ebbed in my chest. He kept insisting what happened with Larissa was his decision-but the truth was darker. I assumed people responded to sexual trauma with avoidance...but now I saw how it could manifest in the opposite direction. Hypersexuality. Control. Fear disguised as apathy.

Larissa stole his power, and he spent reckless years trying to reclaim it. His distance from commitment...his distrust of girls. Unintentionally, me "just being his friend" was probably why he felt safe.

"Unlock your phone," he said, placing me over his bed.

He carefully observed as I typed the four-digit code and swiped it from my hand. Now it was my turn to observe him as his brows furrowed in concentration.

"How did you watch the videos Theodore sent you if you two don't follow each other?"

"He sends me the link through text. When I click it, it opens on the app."

Cross hummed. Then-of course-he switched to my messages with Theodore. Theodore and I didn't text much, so eventually his thumbs padding to my other text messages. And he lingered there. I didn't text many people, so he wasn't going to find much.

Through it all his expression remained unreadable. Eventually, he returned to the app and gave me my phone.

"Add me. I'll be the only one you follow."

I gave him a look. "You could've added yourself. But fine. If you want a spammy-looking, friendless account following you, by all means."

I typed his name into the search bar--then almost did a double take when his profile appeared.

What?!

"Since when did you get this popular?" I mean sure, I knew since junior year he had multiple D1 offers with colleges begging him to commit ahead of time, and coaches that showed up unannounced to his practice. But I hadn't realized he'd gotten this big.

"Have you decided which college you want to go to?" My voice wavered, unsure of what this could mean for us.

His gaze drifted to his desk, where I now noticed several thick packets stacked in a neat pile. College offers. And many of them. Cross didn't stop me when I reached for three set slightly apart from the rest. South Carolina. Texas. Ohio. As I flipped through the papers my jaw slowly dropped, and suddenly, I knew exactly why Larissa wanted so badly to slither back into his life.

"Is this number real?" I whispered.

I had been blindly naive to everything happening in Cross's world. It made the obsessive attention from girls make more sense. Yes, he was handsome. But he was also the next face of college football-and maybe, eventually, the NFL.

Over 300,000 followers on his account. Multiple colleges offering him full-ride scholarships, and NIL deals that ranged anywhere from $500,000 to a million dollars. And that was just for college.

In a year, Cross would be out of reach. In three, untouchable.

Larissa probably saw the trajectory and wanted to latch onto it. To rekindle with her "childhood love" and sell a perfect fairytale to her followers.

Cross stepped behind me, pressing closer until I could feel every hard line of his body against mine.

His hands slid down my arms until his fingers closed over mine, holding my hand taut against the desk.

"Will you also follow me where I'm going?"

My heart jolted at his question. He insisted I follow his account, but that wasn't what he truly meant. He wanted more than that. We weren't even officially together, and he already wanted me to rearrange my future so it'd align with his.

"Can we...revisit this topic?" I asked quietly. "It's a lot. I don't even know if these colleges have the major I want "

"If the answer is no, just say it." His voice turned sharp, fingers tightening painfully around mine.

I was still facing the desk, unable to see his expression, but I could feel the his anger.

"You know," he said and suddenly, I wasn't standing anymore.

My back landed on the mattress, flat against his bed. He crawled over me like before, palms pressed to the sheets on either side of my head. His body hovered over mine, but unlike last time there was no playful warmth, only a simmering, scalding darkness.

"If you wanted to destroy me," he said coldly, "then you should do it properly."

A lump formed in my throat. "What are you talking about?”

"No." His eyes burned into mine. "You don't get to ask questions. Now it's my turn." His voice dropped lower. "And answer carefully, because I already saw the truth on your phone."

His lips curved into something that wasn't quite a smile.
"Here's my first."

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A/N: Ughhhh, my poor baby😭
Larissa is just plain evil, can't wait to be done with herr.
I'm excited tho, our babies are bonding 😭❤️
We have less than 5 chapters left to finish this story😭(I'm really sad about that)