Couldn’t shake

Emily's POV

I couldn't shake the pain. It was a dull ache at first, a low thrum in my chest, but the more I thought about what had happened, the more it twisted.

Ethan... How could he? How could he think of me like that?

How could he make me feel like I was nothing more than some commodity, something that could be bought and sold with a few words and a couple of zeros attached to his bank account?

The sting of his betrayal hurt more than anything physical could. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without wondering: was that how little I meant to him?

I shifted uncomfortably in the back of the cab, staring out of the window at the blurry streetlights passing by.

The cool night air filtered through the slightly cracked window, but it didn't bring any relief. I felt suffocated, as if the world around me had closed in. Why had I let myself get involved with him? What had I even expected?

I never even told anyone that Ethan and I had begun seeing each other. God, even Lila didn't know, and now I couldn't even bring myself to say his name aloud.

How could I explain that I'd allowed myself to believe in something, only to have it shattered in one brutal moment?

I stared down at my hands, curled tightly into fists in my lap. It wasn't the money or the power that had hurt.

It wasn't the way he'd tried to explain it away-no, it was the way he'd looked at me like I was just another thing to be handled, fixed, or discarded.

He looked at me like I was a fucking pitiful wounded deer!

How could I have been so blind? The thought kept creeping up inside me, gnawing at my mind like a rat in the walls.

I had to get away. Away from my house, away from everything that reminded me of him. Even the hotel felt too close to everything that had happened.

It wasn't safe. I could almost hear his voice in my head, feel his fingers brushing my shoulder, as though he might be standing behind me, lurking, waiting to manipulate me all over again.

I dialed Lila's number without thinking. I needed to escape, and she was the only person I could turn to at the moment.

When she picked up, I could hear the faint sound of the babies coos in the background.

"Hey, Lila," I began, my voice shaky even though I tried to keep it steady. "It's Emily. I-uh-I was wondering if I could stay at the Frost mansion tonight."

There was a slight pause on the other end. Lila was always so perceptive, always able to hear the subtext of a conversation. I half-expected her to question me right away, but instead, she just asked the one thing I didn't want to answer.

"Is everything alright?" Her voice was soft but concerned. "Did Reuben do something to you?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head as though she could see me. I couldn't tell her about Ethan. I couldn't tell her about what had happened between us. Not yet, not when the weight of it was still so fresh, so raw.

I sighed deeply, my shoulders slumping as I ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, I just... I need a break. Reuben... It's just been a lot, you know? I don't feel safe going back to my place. I need a place to crash for the night."

Lila didn't question further. She always trusted me, always gave me the space to figure things out on my own, even when I was being vague. That's why I loved her so much. She wasn't one to pry, but she was always there when I needed her.

"Well, of course, you can stay at the mansion. But," she added, her tone becoming slightly more practical, "you should stop by my lab first. Ronan will probably be in the living room, and you know how he can get when he's not expecting company. And Frederick," she paused for a second, a hint of annoyance slipping into her voice, "he's always keeping an eye on everyone. You might want to avoid him if you can."

I couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped me, even though I felt like everything around me was falling apart. Lila was right.

Ronan was like a wolf in the house, always on alert, always watching. Well, technically, he was the alpha afterall.

And Frederick-well, he was Ronan's beta, and I'd never been able to get along with him. He had that condescending air about him, like he always knew more than you did.

"Thanks, Lila," I said, the exhaustion in my voice suddenly becoming all too clear. "You're the best."

"No problem," she replied. "Just text me when you get here, and I'll come down to meet you. I'll make sure Ronan and Frederick don't give you any trouble."

I hung up, taking a deep breath. I was heading to the mansion, but I wasn't sure what I was even running to. Was it the comfort of a safe space, or was it just an escape from my own thoughts, my own self-doubt?

I told the cab driver the address, and we drove in silence, the hum of the engine the only sound between us. The streets were empty at this hour, the night air crisp and cool, but I still couldn't shake the sense of unease that had taken root in my stomach.

The driver glanced at me from the rearview mirror after a while, his gaze lingering for just a moment too long. "Excuse me," he said, his voice hesitant. "Are you... uh, a werewolf, too?"

I blinked, my mind still hazy from everything that had just happened. A werewolf? The question seemed so out of place, so random.

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "I wish," I muttered. "Then maybe I'd claw at the people who keep hurting me and walking around like they're living so freely."

I wasn't sure why I said that. Maybe it was the exhaustion creeping into my bones, or maybe it was the way everything felt so unjust. The idea of being able to protect myself, to defend myself the way the wolves could, was almost too much to imagine.

The driver didn't respond immediately. Instead, there was a soft grunt of acknowledgement, and then the car fell silent again.

The streetlights flickered overhead, casting long, distorted shadows across the pavement.

I wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream.

But all I did was sit there, staring out the window as the world passed me by, too fast, too far out of reach.

I didn't know what to expect when I got to the mansion, but I was sure of one thing, I needed to stop thinking about Ethan.

I needed to stop caring about him. I needed to find a way to pick up the pieces of myself before I lost everything.

When we arrived at the Frost mansion, I was surprised at how quiet it was. The house loomed before me, its silhouette cutting against the dark sky, the soft glow from the lights inside casting shadows across the courtyard.

It was a strange comfort-this massive place, this grand space. But as I stepped out of the cab, I felt a small sigh of relief escape me. I was safe here, at least for tonight.

I texted Lila to let her know I had arrived, and almost immediately, she replied with a simple, "Coming down now."

I took one last glance at the mansion's façade before I stepped toward the entrance, my feet heavy with the weight of everything I'd been carrying. Lila would be there in a moment, and I knew I'd find some semblance of peace, at least for a little while.

But I couldn't help the nagging feeling in my chest. I knew that whatever had happened tonight wasn't going to just disappear.

And Ethan... Ethan was still out there, still tangled in my thoughts, his words echoing in my mind like a curse I couldn't shake.