Him behind

Emily's POV

I sat there, the recorder still playing in my mind, each word echoing louder than the last. Reuben's voice, that smug, cold tone, was still ringing in my ears.

How could I have been so blind? How could I have let myself get pulled into this mess?

"Ethan..." I muttered under my breath, my hands clutching the edge of the table like it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart. His voice, too, was in the recording.

His voice, the one I had trusted, the one I had thought was sincere. I replayed his words over and over again, desperate for some kind of explanation, but the more I listened, the worse it all seemed.

I felt his presence before he even spoke. I could sense the tension in the air as he moved toward me, his hand hesitating just above my shoulder.

I wanted to pull away, to flee, but I stayed frozen, too tired to move. I felt his touch, gentle but heavy, like it carried the weight of a thousand unspoken apologies.

"Emily," he whispered, his voice low and unsure. "Are you alright?"

The question was simple enough, but there was a fragility to it, something that made me feel even more exposed.

I should have answered, should have said something, anything to explain what I was feeling, but I couldn't. Not when everything inside me felt like it was shattering into a million pieces.

His hand moved to my shoulder again, this time more insistent. "Hey," he said, trying to turn me toward him. "Talk to me."

I pulled away. I didn't want him touching me. Not right now. Not when I couldn't even trust my own emotions, let alone his.

I turned to face him, my eyes burning with unshed tears, my throat tight with the words I was holding back.

"Is it true?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, but it felt like I was shouting. "Did you really want to buy me off?"

His face twisted in confusion, but there was something else in his eyes-guilt. I saw it, that flicker of regret, but it wasn't enough. Not for me.

"No, Emily," he said, his voice steady, but I could hear the strain in it. "That's not what happened."

I didn't believe him. I couldn't. Not after everything I had just heard. I wasn't stupid. I wasn't going to let him feed me another lie.

"No," I said, cutting him off. "My question was straight enough, but let me make it easier for you this time." I took a breath, feeling the weight of the words before they even left my mouth. "Was it your voice I just heard in that recording?"

He hesitated, his eyes shifting away, and I could feel my heart sinking further into the pit of my stomach. And then, when he spoke, it was like a knife twisting deeper.

"Yes," he said, his voice barely audible, but I could hear it clearly. "It was me, but-"

I couldn't let him finish. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear any more excuses, any more apologies that would only make things worse.

"Don't," I cut him off again, my voice sharp, like broken glass. "Don't even bother." I shook my head, the tears finally starting to fall. I wiped them away quickly, but they kept coming. "Going out with my ex's cousin was a bad idea from the very beginning. I should have known better. I should have seen through you."

My voice cracked at the end, and I hated myself for it. I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to be this vulnerable, but here I was, falling apart right in front of him.

I stood up abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as I pushed it back. I couldn't stay here, couldn't be near him when my heart felt like it was being torn in two.

"Ethan, I need to go," I said, my voice trembling.

He reached for me, his hand grabbing my wrist as I tried to walk away. "Emily, please," he begged, his voice strained. "Don't walk away from me. Please, just let me explain."

I shook my head, pulling my wrist out of his grasp. "Explain what? There's nothing left to explain. I heard everything. What else is there?"

I tried to turn, but he was faster, his hand wrapping around my arm and pulling me toward him. "No," he said, his grip firm but not painful. "You're not leaving until we talk this out."

I tried to pull away again, but his hold tightened, and suddenly, I felt like I couldn't breathe. He was too close, his presence overwhelming. "Ethan, let me go," I whispered, desperate for air, for space.

But instead of letting go, he stepped closer, his face inches from mine. His eyes were searching mine, like he was looking for something, some way to fix this.

I could feel the heat of his body, the tension between us thick and suffocating. My heart was racing, my breath coming in shallow gasps.

I couldn't think straight, couldn't focus on anything other than the feeling of him so close, so impossibly close.

"I'm captivated by you," he said, his voice low, almost pleading. "I can't stop thinking about you, Emily."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. How could he say that after everything? How could he tell me that now, when I felt like everything we'd shared had been a lie?

Before I could even respond, he leaned in. His lips brushed against mine, hesitant at first, but then with more urgency, more need.

I froze, my body stiffening, but my mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I should pull away, I should scream at him, but something inside me refused to move.

His hands came up, cupping my face gently, his thumb brushing over my cheek in a way that made my heart race even faster. It was a touch I had wanted, had craved for so long, but now it felt wrong. It felt like betrayal.

I kissed him back, just for a moment, before everything snapped back into place. The anger, the hurt, the confusion-it all hit me like a flood.

I pulled away with a force that surprised both of us, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I pushed him away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demanded, my voice shaking with fury. "You think you can just kiss me and make everything better? You think I'll just forget about everything you've done?"

He looked at me, his eyes wide with shock, but I wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily. Not this time.

I didn't even think-I just acted. My hand shot out, and I shoved him hard away from me.

He didn't move, didn't even flinch. He just stood there, looking at me like I was the one who had betrayed him. But I wasn't the one who had lied. I wasn't the one who had broken everything.

"I should have known better," I said through gritted teeth, my voice thick with emotion. "You don't get to just waltz into my life and pretend like you can fix everything with a kiss, Ethan. You don't get to use me like this."

He didn't say anything. He just stood there, his eyes never leaving mine, like he was waiting for me to say more. But I didn't have anything else to say. Not to him. Not to anyone.

I turned away from him, my heart still pounding in my chest. I couldn't stay here. Not like this. Not anymore.

But as I walked away, I couldn't help but feel a tug in my chest. A part of me wanted to turn around, to run back to him, to fix everything. But I couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. Not after the way he had broken my trust.

I didn't know what would happen next. But I knew I had to take care of myself. I had to keep walking forward, even if it meant leaving him behind.