Chapter 82 Trust You
Lila POV
“Tell me do you still believe that death can atone for nothing?”
Over and over, I imagined my father’s lifeless body. Every night that exact image was the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes. It was also the first thing I saw when I woke up. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop my mind from reliving those few seconds over, and over, and over again.
But now, as I stood in front of a man that played such an important part in the nightmare I was forced to relive every day, the thought of him dying actually felt like it had the strength to numb the pain. Slowly, I started to replace the images of my dead father with images of a dead Doc and it made me feel stronger.
“It’s time for your final verdict.” Nico pressed the nozzle of the gun against Doc forehead and he closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face, as snot spat from his nostrils.
Nico released the safety of his gun, and Doc sobbed while he pissed himself. My heart hammered, but it wasn’t because of fear. It was because I knew what I wanted, what I needed.
What I needed, I snapped my gaze up to Nico. That was what he meant when he said he knew what I needed and he nodded as if he could hear my every thought, as if he knew I had pieced it together. I took a deep breath and kept my eyes on Nico face. “Kill him.”
Castello pulled the trigger, and the deafening sound of death filled my ears. I closed my eyes and felt something I never thought I’d feel over the death of another human being…relief.
Nico POV
I pulled the trigger, executing the traitorous motherfucker. It was the only way. You live by the gun and you die by the gun. Lila needed to witness this, to learn our ways if I wanted her to thrive at my side. She might not have known it yet, but I saw it in her soul, the darkness which had the undeniable potential to turn her into a powerful woman and my woman.
Doc, the fucker, he was lucky. If it weren’t for Lila being here, I would have tortured his fucking ass. So in whatever corner of hell he was burning right now, he could thank God I gave him a merciful death. I kept my gaze on her, scrutinizing every contour of her face. What was she thinking? How was she feeling about what just happened?
I pushed her. I forced her to relive that godawful moment. I made her feel that pain all over again. But it had to be done. She had to feel the anger, the rage, the bone-numbing ache of witnessing her father die. It was the only way I could make her tap into the deepest, darkest part of her that demanded revenge.
Every goddamn night I had to listen to her moan and cry in her sleep. I knew it was her father’s image that plagued her nightmares. The blood. The death. The loss. And after yesterday, finding her in the bathroom on the floor slicing her skin, I knew she needed a way to let the pain drain out of her soul. That was why I brought her here today. That was the reason I made her pass judgement on the fucker who now had a bullet in his head. I was certain the sweet taste of revenge would calm her soul; it would comfort her, strengthen her. She just needed someone to push her, to force her into taking that leap, and that was what I did. I made her take the leap.
Her eyes opened, and she stared right at me. I could see the rage storming in the depths of her blue eyes. The hate, the hurt, the pain, it was all there. But I also saw determination burning like a newly lit fire, the flaming sparks threatening to scald whoever came in its path. It was goddamn poetic to see innocence turn into fierceness. To tell the truth, it was turning me the fuck on.
“We’re done here.” I placed my gun at my side and walked over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.
As I ushered her out, she kept looking over her shoulder at the dead body. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. Almost as if she needed to make she would never forget the sight, the justice that had been done. Only when we were out in the hall and I closed the door did she look at me.
I took her face between my palms. “It had to be done.”
“I know.” There was no animosity or pain in her words. Everything about her seemed eerily calm.
I took her hand in mine. “I think you should rest.”
Maybe she was acting so calmly because she might be in shock. It wasn’t the first time she witnessed someone die. But it was the first time she was the one who passed judgement.
Getting her back to our bedroom, a place she had seen as her safe zone, was what she needed. Yes, I pushed her, but now I needed to take care of her.
She remained quiet as we walked up the stairs, keeping her gaze straight ahead. Perhaps I had pushed her too far? But wasn’t that the best way to learn how to swim to get shoved in the deep end? There was no better way to test your strength than to be placed in a situation which demanded you survive…or die.
We reached our bedroom, and she walked in first. I closed the door behind me, still wondering if I had gotten it all wrong.
Lila”
“Thank you.”
I turned around slowly, narrowing my eyes, staring at her as she stood a few feet away.
“Thank you, Nico. Thank you for knowing what I needed, even though I didn’t.”
I searched her face, studied her eyes, but there was no trace of tears or regret. “Are you okay?”
She smiled. She actually fucking smiled, and it reached all the way to her eyes. “I’m more than okay. It scares me, knowing that witnessing a man die makes me feel…okay. But it also makes me feel like I finally have”
“Control?”
She bit her bottom lip before answering, “Yes.”
Jesus Christ. How did I ever think she wouldn’t be strong enough? Now, while I stared at this beautiful creature in front of me, her eyes wild, beaming with life and strength, her face painted with newfound energy, I knew she was right where she was meant to be. By my side.
My body started to hum with a carnal desire, an uncontrollable need to take her. My cock was hard, my mind filled with nothing but images of her naked body beneath me, screaming my name while I fucked a whole lot of mind-numbing pleasure into her.
I slowly started toward her. “I told you, Lila, you need to trust me because I know what you need.”