Chapter 23 Mother Wish
NICO POV
Even though I knew she would show up, I didn’t count on her hovering around the dining hall, glaring in Lila direction every five minutes.
In every goddamn conversation my mother took part in, she made her hatred for Lila known through her disrespectful words. She made no secret about how she felt, how much she wanted Lila corpse buried in our backyard so that she could stare at her grave every time she looked out her bedroom window.
I shared my mother’s need for revenge. She missed her son and I missed my brother.
“Have you made contact with her family yet?” My mother took a seat beside me.
I cleared my throat. “Not yet.”
“When?”
“A few more days.”
“Do they know she’s missing?”
I leaned back in my seat and snuck a glance in Lila direction. “According to my informant, the family started to suspect something was amiss a few hours ago.”
“Have they gone to the Police?”
“Not yet, she works different shifts at the studio. She’s not supposed to start work for another two days. I suspect the Falcone will take drastic action once they learn that she didn’t show up at work.”
My mother nodded. “Good. Then their hell can begin. Then they’ll have a taste of what my life has been like the last few months.”
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable with the fact that my mother demanded all this information. This was my operation. She entrusted me with this task, so why was she prying?
Uncle Lucas watched us from across the room, observing like he always did. I always got the feeling that he didn’t like my mother very much.
That and the fact that I heard him and my father bickering one day about how Uncle Lucas thought my father was allowing her to manipulate him into doing things that were questionable even for us.
It was no secret that my mother was a strong, intelligent woman, but she always knew her place, always played the part sometimes a little too well.
I turned back to her. “Have you ever thought about Nikolai and her?”
She frowned. “What kind of a question is that?”
“Have you ever considered the fact that Nikolai might have really loved her?”
“Never. There is no way my son would fall for that woman. The thought alone is preposterous.”
I placed my hand on the table, tapping lightly on the black covered tabletop. “Then why do you think he was with her in the first place?”
She snorted. “I might idolize my children, Nico, but I am not naïve. I know that my sons are men, and men have needs. Lila Falcone was just a way for those needs to be met.”
I calculated her every word, studied her face. “So he used her for sex?”
“What else? She is not worthy of the love Nikolai was able to give, and he would have known that.
There is no way it was more than sex for Nikolai, and that’s the reason she and her family had him killed.” Her deathly stare moved toward Lila once again. “She couldn’t handle the truth.”
“Which is?”
“That someone had used her in a way she deserves to be used.”
I narrowed my eyes. “But you told me Nikolai left her because he realized she was nothing more than a whore? If it was about sex, her being a whore wouldn’t have mattered to him.”
“What does it matter, Niko?” She grabbed the crucifix around her neck and rubbed the silver between her fingers.
“None of this matters now. He is dead, and so is your father. Your responsibility is to make sure that those guilty of taking their lives pay for what they have done.
That woman needs to die. Every member of her family needs to suffer just as we have suffered.”
Every word my mother spoke was coated with sheer venom, like she hated lila enough to poison her with insults and slurs.
And she had a way to make everyone around her feel her pain, feel her hatred, feel everything she’s feeling by using perfectly chosen words, body language and facial expressions to suck a person into her world, into her dilemma which is probably why Uncle Lucas thought her to be a master manipulator.
I placed my hands in my lap. “Don’t you think you should call it a night, Mother?”
“No. I’m fine. I want to be here.”
“I don’t think it’s good for you to be around her. Your wounds are still to raw to face the demon that caused them.”
She glanced around the room and sighed. “Perhaps you are right. I can feel her presence tainting my soul.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. My mother had always been a religious woman who believed in outside influences shaping our souls, either lifting our spirits or breaking it. Me, I never could decide on which side of the religious line drawn between good and evil I stood.
It was too daunting to think that we didn’t have control over our spirits, our own souls, that mere meek individuals had the power to influence us.
I preferred to think that our souls were free and took the shape they were destined to be, whether tainted by blood, greed, lust, or any other sin you can think of.
So needless to say, I never shared my mother’s outlook on the topic of religion. Nikolai did though. Nikolai would sit next to her in church every Sunday, reciting psalms and taking part in mass. On occasion I would join them, but then I’d end up thinking it all was just an act, everyone attending church only doing so to keep up appearances.
No one was without sin, yet everyone who sat there pretended that they were, when I knew for a fact that Mr. Omar cheated on his wife every chance he got. And Mrs. Janet, whose eyes hid behind the veil of her hat stared at all the young boys, her mind filled with perverted images of each and every one of them.
Then there was Father Michael, the Priest, the shepherd supposed to lead his flock to eternal life, to save as many souls as he could.
At night, when the darkness casted shadows over the city, he fucked every male prostitute he could find.
So how could I sit there, searching for redemption and spiritual leadership when I was surrounded by sinners pretending to be saints? I couldn’t which is why I stopped going to Sunday church, and started ignoring my mother’s backhanded remarks about my spirit and soul needing guidance.
I would guide my own damn life, do with my spirit and soul as I pleased.
I stood up and leaned over to give her a loving kiss on her forehead. “Go rest, Mother. Leave the family business to me. I won’t let you down.”
“I know, Nico.” She placed her hand on mine, resting on her shoulder. “Your father would have been proud.”