Chapter 116 My obsession
Lila POV
“No matter what my brother does, he will never erase…us.”
He was right. Damon would never have the power to take away what we had.
More and more he plunged inside me, going deeper every time. He flexed and fucked me so hard, he lifted my feet off the ground with every thrust.
“Oh God.” I moaned, feeling the start of my orgasm blooming between my legs, about to move up my spine and crash against my core.
Harder, faster, our moans slamming against the dark walls around us, and finally my release flooded through my body, thundering against every bone.
He pulled out, and I felt warm liquid spurt onto my ass. It was the first time he had pulled out of me before he came and with slow circles of his palm, he rubbed his cum all around, coating my skin. Somehow I wish it was inside me…I wished he was inside me.
He leaned forward, his lips against my ear. “Soon.” And then he was gone.
Nico POV
Our drive home was agonizing, the silence kept gnawing at me, my mind listing all the reasons Lila had to be pissed at me but I warned her that she didn’t know what I was capable of, what needed to be done to secure the success of my family.
Drugs weren’t my thing, fhe only time I used was with Mike. If there was any kind of business contract between us, snorting drugs would be stated in the fine print. Had I not followed our regular routine, he would have gotten suspicious and he would have doubted my commitment to our business deal, and I couldn’t have that and then the party spiraled out of control.....drugs, alcohol, Lila. The more I used, the more I drank, the more I felt like I needed to let go of all the shit that had surrounded me for months but I was a grown man, and I was big enough to admit that I fucked up.
I reached out and took her hand in mine. “You okay?”
She snorted. “That’s the second time tonight you asked me that.”
“Answer the question, Lila.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.”
She turned in the backseat to look straight at me. “Is my body giving you a different answer? We both know my body can’t lie to you.”
I studied her, swept my gaze across every inch of her beautiful face. She looked…okay.
I nodded, accepting her answer. I still felt like shit, though. I should have known better than to give in, allowing her to come along.
“Can I ask you one favor?” Her blue eyes locked with mine. “I know I asked to come along, and I should have heeded your warning when you said I would see a different side of you nut can we not ever speak about what happened tonight?
I know you have all these layers of personas you need to take on in order for you to do what you do nut I prefer the nico you are when we’re alone, the Nico who can make me love and hate him at the same damn time.”
I couldn’t help but smile and I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her skin softly. “Deal.”
The rest of our drive home, the silence didn’t feel so heavy. She had leaned into me, and eventually I could feel the rhythmic movement of her chest, she had fallen asleep, and my heart swelled, threatening to burst even though saying we loved each other got easier with every day that passed, I sometimes caught myself doubting how such a perfect creature like her could love something as imperfect as me but it wasn’t my place to question fate.
We arrived at the estate, and I carried her to our room. I wasn’t surprised she was exhausted after everything that had happened.
I gently placed her on the bed, the promise of her showing me her appreciation still sitting in the back of my head.
I could be a selfish asshole and wake her, remind her of what she had promised, and if it was a few weeks ago I probably would have but she was carrying my child, the vessel for the life we had created. It was no longer about my selfish needs. It was about her, the baby…about us.
Gently, I removed her shoes and pulled the sheets over her. She looked angelic under the dim lights of the bedroom, her golden hair splayed across the silk sheets. After everything, it felt amazing to know that she was really mine not because I forced her to be, but because she wanted to be.
It was surreal to think that after all the pain I’d caused her, after everything she’d lost because of me and my family, she still loved me but now as I stared at her beautiful, innocent face, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever be able to be good to her, to our child.
I was a fucking monster who liked to see the woman I loved bleed. I have tortured and killed more people than I cared to remember. How could I think for even a moment that I was worthy of this woman’s love, worthy of being a father?
Two weeks ago, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes but with everything going on and Damon meddling with my business, growing the threat he presented toward me and my family, we never got around to talking about any sorts of wedding plans.
Maybe that was a good thing or the universe’s way of telling me I was being a jerk by thinking I could have a normal life with a woman.
I was never meant to have a normal life and to live the American dream and have a house with a white picket fence.
I’d tried to convince myself that everything would work out. In the end, everyone had a happily ever after, right? Wrong! Tonight I proved to her and myself that I wasn’t worthy.
All this time, I refused to even think about a life without her. I locked her in our goddamn bedroom, for Christ’s sake.
On the inside, I had a twisted obsession with her wanted to consume her but that obsession had somehow turned into love, and because of my love for her, I had to think about what was best for her and our child and that wasn’t me.
I traced the back of my hand down the side of her face, her soft skin feeling like velvet against mine.
I knew her, she was strong even if she thought she wasn’t. There was no way she would just walk away from me, especially now that she was carrying my child but for once in my life I had to try and do the unselfish thing. I had to put the well-being of my family first…I had no other choice but to force her to live a life without me.