The Drunken Misadventures of Sterling Odie Wolf

*The Next Night- Elijah and Rachel’s second celebration*

Sterling had a way of getting under people’s skin. He could get the most peaceful monk to take a full-on swing at his face. He enjoyed pulling pranks, taking jokes too far, and saying the most inappropriate things. His favorite pastime, however, would always be pissing off his older brother. He loved to bring Jordan down to his level, even if it was only temporary. Those who truly knew them knew one simple fact; Sterling was, without a doubt, the more immature of the two. While Jordan was poised and mostly always professional, Sterling would threaten to maul an innocent man because he couldn’t find his actual nemesis. So no one really should have been shocked by the stupid things he did his last night at the hotel.

As he sat at the bar, excited about finally being claimed, he soon downed too many drinks. Forgetting that the party that was going on was for Elijah and Rachel—not a celebration of his sexual escapades—he tapped his empty glass on top of the bar. “Give me another one,” he said to the bartender.

“Sir, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Why don’t you mine your business?”

“It’s mind your business, not mine.”

Sterling glared at him. He pulled out his phone, and his face softened in embarrassment when he realized he was wrong. “You got that one, high five,” he said cheekily. The bartender reached out to give him a five, and he quickly moved his hand. “Up high, down low, ohhh, too extremely slow.” The bartender gave him a scowl. “Okay, I’m sorry. Really.” Sterling placed his hand out again. “I won’t snatch it away this time.” The bartender tried again, and his anger grew when Sterling pulled his hand away. Swirling his hands in the man’s face, he taunted him. “I’m like a Jedi. You’ll never keep up,” he said.

Face beet red, the bartender slammed a bottle of alcohol on the counter. “This is the strongest thing I have back here. I’ll give you the entire bottle if you get the hell away from me.”

Sterling nodded, grabbed the bottle, and shouted over his shoulder as he left, “You should call me. Let’s have lunch. You’re an amazingly beautiful soul.”

A completely empty bottle, and a fully drunk Sterling found themselves outside of the party wandering around the hotel. “Where the fuck is that door?” he huffed, trying to get back. He exhaled in relief as he finally found it. Entering, he spotted a microphone on a table, and got a great idea. Grabbing it, he walked up to the front of the stage. Instructing the band to stop the music, he tapped the microphone.

“Is this thing on?” Everyone stared at him. “Alright, I want to take the time to thank everybody for coming out and celebrating such an important day.” Moving one of his gages forward, he showed the crowd Morgan’s bite mark. “Yep! That’s right. I’ve officially been claimed, and I have to say it’s like a damn dream come true. It’s like being a side piece and getting upgraded. I have been made an honest wolf, and I’ve got the mark to prove it.”

He leaned against the table on the stage. “I tell you it was a crazy night, too. My Little Red; you look at her and you think she’s a dainty little filly, but that ain’t nothing but a bronco, and when that bronco gets to bucking…” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

From the crowd someone yelled, “I feel you, man!”

Sterling made a tent with his hand over his eyes. “Who said that? What’s your name?”

“Gary!”

“Gar-to-the-motherfucking-bear, you get me! What I’m saying people is I got laid. I mated, had relations, got busy.” He tapped his chest. “I was trying to play hard to get, but she got into my briefs. Next thing you know, we were going all the way.” He sat on the stage, swaying his feet. “Have you all ever heard this song? My Little Red plays it a lot. I don’t know the name, but when it starts, the guy goes like this.”

He did his best impression of a song he’d grown to love. “Whoaaaa-ohh-ohhh-yeahhhh. The guy sounds like an angel when he does it, but the point is I didn’t understand what it meant when they said knocking—sorry knockin’, Little Red said there’s no G. I asked her what it meant, and she said if I had to ask, I hadn’t done it yet. Well, you guys, I get it now, and I’m here to tell you all, Morgan Renee Pierce knocked the hell out of my boots!” Everyone gasped and he arched his eyebrow. “What? I mean, you don’t believe me? Ask my brother. He was there and I’m pretty sure she knocked his boots too.”

“Your brother?!” Gary shouted.

Sterling rubbed his head. “Gar-bear, I feel you’re judging me out there, and I don’t appreciate it, especially because I thought we were friends.”

“I don’t even know you!”

Sterling cocked his head back. “Wow. You didn’t have to deny my friendship like that. I’m not sure how I feel about you now man.” Looking around briefly, he stood and walked over to a man who was also on the stage. Towering over him, he watched the fear line the man’s face. “Give me your shoe,” he slurred. The man quickly handed it to him. Stumbling back to the middle, he sat back down and took off his own. “Okay, so the one in the middle is Little Red, and this one is me, and this one is Jordan. I love her ass and he loves her tits, so it evens out. The moment she’s naked, I honestly don’t see him there. It’s like watching porn. You know there is a guy banging the girl, but you don’t see him when they get into the groove. Gar-bear, I know you know what I’m talking about!”

Seeing judgmental eyes staring back at him, he grew irritated. “Why the hell are you all looking at me like that?! You’re acting as if you don’t know that Morgan, me, and Jor—” His words stopped in his throat. Looking around, he realized he didn’t know a single soul. He covered his mouth with his hands. “Oh my God, I’m at the wrong party!” he shrieked.

“Yes. You. Are.” He heard her before he saw her. A pissed off Morgan, with an equally pissed off Jordan in tow, stood on the dancefloor shooting daggers with their eyes his way.

Hurriedly placing his shoes back on, he stood and peered at the other shoe in his hand. He wobbled. “Who’s fucking shoe is this?”

“Mine,” the man who sat horrified on the stage said.

“Why do I have it?”

“You asked for it.”

“Who the hell gives up their shoe just because someone asks? Who invited you to this party? I need to have a talk with them about their choice of friends.”

“Um, I’m the groom. This is my wedding reception.”

Sterling sobered up immediately upon hearing his words. Leaning into the man, the sheer terror on his face showed. “They’re looking at me, aren’t they?” he whispered. The man nodded, and Sterling bit his nails, not wanting to turn around. “I know people say all the time that someone’s going to kill them because they’re mad, but they’re actually going to fucking kill me.” He sobbed to the bride. “They’re going to murder me right here and tear up these nice ass decorations. I’m sorry in advance for my blood ruining your dress.” Squinting, he looked at her. “Is that you, Jesse?”

“H-hey Sterling. Hey Jordan.” she replied.

He nudged the groom, cackling. “Well, now I don’t feel bad anymore. Trust me, she shouldn’t be wearing white. Hell, not a cream and barely a beige. Groomy, I once saw your wife on a basketball court taking more balls than the hoops.”

“Sterling!” Morgan shouted, garnering his attention again. Turning around like a person in a horror movie, his entire body shook. “Get down,” she seethed, and he gulped.

His drunkenness came back with a vengeance. Not able to get down the same way he got up, he got the ingenious idea to climb off the front of the stage. His massive frame tilted as he tried to climb down, causing his large leg to swing out and smash through the band’s drum.

Landing in a plop on the floor, he stared in horror at the instrument on his foot. Hoping neither Jordan nor Morgan saw, he kicked it feverishly and it flung into the wall leaving a large crack behind. He looked at the damage and then up into the sky. “You play a lot of games up there! First my mother and father and now this shit?! You really want me up there, don’t you?! You really tryna get your boy!”

Turning to Jordan and Morgan, he watched her kick off her heels. “Wha-what are you doing?” She dropped her hoop earrings to the floor, and he gulped again. He’d watched enough movies with her to know what that meant. Jordan untied his tie and removed it. Her eyes blue, his eyes yellow, they got in sync against him. Charging at him in unison, Sterling’s life flashed before his eyes. He dropped to the ground and slid between them. “Whew,” he exhaled. His shortly lived relief turned into horror when Jordan’s large hand grabbed the back of his neck.

He picked him up. “Get the fuck up Sterling.”

“That only works when I do it,” Morgan said. Jordan threw him over his shoulder and escorted him out.

“I didn’t mean it, Little Red! I was just excited we had sex! You made an honest wolf out of me! I got upgraded! I got upgraded!” She gave him a death stare that made him zip his lips.

“She is fine as hell, though!” Gary yelled.

Sterling pointed. “Gar-to-the-motherfucking-bear! You get me!”

“Stop talking, Sterling,” Morgan said, but drunk and terrified he couldn’t. He tapped his brother. “Hey Jordan, don’t think because you club me and drag me back to your cave I’m putting out. I’m not that type of wolf.” Jordan said nothing in return. “Oh, ignoring me? Real mature.”

“I’m not ignoring you. I was telling on you.”

“I am a grown man. Do you really think I’m afraid of mom and dad?”

“Never said I was telling them.”

“Then who did you tell?”

“Two older twin wolves who told us not to give our Luna a hard way. They told me to bring your drunk ass outside. I’ll take the residual pain, if it means getting to watch them beat you to the ground. You don’t listen, but you’re going to tonight.”

Sterling’s face turned as white as a sheet. “No! Don’t take me to Uncle Klaus and Uncle George! Please Little Red, help me!”

Morgan shook her head. “You made your drunk ass bed, lay in it.”

“Somebody?! Anybody?!” He whispered, “Gar-bear?” As they walked through the doors, exiting the reception, Sterling grabbed at the frame. Ripping wood away, he’d hoped it would slow Jordan down, but his brother continued to carry him. The entire hotel shook as his loud voice carried through the doors leading to the outside. “Don’t take me outside! I’m sorry! I won’t drink again! No!”

Outside, his eyes grew as large as the moon as Klaus removed his fedora, while George wiped the food he’d been eating from his hands and cracked his knuckles.