Chapter 19 The shower

Chapter 19 The shower

Lily's POV
I looked into those eyes staring into mine and fought hard to keep my tears from falling.
Wade had just called me strong. He had looked at me like I was something worth looking at and said it like he meant every word. And here I was, falling apart quietly on the inside while trying to look like I was completely fine.
Why was this turning my stomach into a million knots?
He ran his hands slowly down my shoulders and I was certain he was going to kiss me and I wanted it more than I wanted to admit to myself.
"Lily, your lips are turning blue," he said, breaking the moment completely. "You must be freezing."
We both burst into soft laughter at the same time.
"No, I'm fine. I'm good," I said, remembering suddenly that I was his nanny and this was a pool house and none of this was supposed to be happening.
"I think you should press your body against mine," he said.
"No, you perv," I said, still laughing.
"I'm serious. I learned this at camp. You have early signs of hypothermia."
"I told you, I'm fine!"
"Okay," he said. And then he scooped me up into his arms. "Are you going to freeze to death or are you going to shut up and let me save you again?"
I lost my words completely.
He laid me down gently and pressed his body against mine and it felt so warm and so safe that I stopped arguing immediately.
The cold vanished. I felt his heartbeat, steady and close, and his hand moved to my face and caressed it gently and I looked at the ceiling of the pool house and thought about how completely wrong this situation was and how little I wanted it to stop.
"Okay," I admitted quietly. "This is actually better."
"Yeah," he said, pulling me closer. "I've got you."
I could not believe I was wrapped up in Wade Harrington's arms. The worst part was that I did not want him to let go. I closed my eyes and settled against his chest and before I even noticed it happening I was asleep.
When I opened my eyes the room was lighter.
Wade was still holding me, fast asleep, one arm around my shoulders, breathing slowly.
I sat up carefully and heard movement at the door.
"Wade." I tapped him lightly. "Someone's coming."
He did not stir.
"Wade!" I shook him harder. "Someone is here, wake up!"
He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes, just as Chris pushed the door open and stepped inside. I shifted away from Wade quickly but I already knew it was too late.
Chris looked between us with an expression that said everything.
"Well, well," he said. "Where have you been all night? You missed your own party."
"The party!" I jumped to my feet and ran out of the pool house immediately.
The patio looked like a disaster zone.
Everyone had gone but everything they had touched remained. Bottles on every surface, food ground into the tiles, pool water tracked through the house, decorations torn down and left where they fell. My pictures were still on the wall. The house that I had spent Saturday morning cleaning was completely unrecognisable.
Mr. Gambino was coming home in a matter of hours.
"Last night was an absolute banger," Chris said, appearing behind us and hitting Wade on the chest.
"This place is completely trashed," Wade said, pulling his shirt on and looking around with wide eyes.
"The party doesn't have to end here," Chris said, pulling out a beer.
Wade and I both turned and looked at him at the same time.
Wade took the beer from his hand. "Chris. Go home."
Chris looked between us once more with that knowing expression, then left without further argument.
I stood in the middle of the wrecked patio and said nothing.
This job was the best thing that had happened to me since the scholarship. It was my mother's medication and her hospital visits and the small breathing room that kept us from drowning. And I was going to lose it in a few hours because of a boy who had never once in his life considered the consequences of his decisions before making them.
Tears rolled down my face before I could stop them.
"Lily, I—" Wade moved toward me.
"This is all your fault," I said, pushing him back.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't expect it to get this bad."
"Well it did!" I said. "I am going to get fired. And when your dad finds out about this party I am going to get blacklisted and I will never get another job in this city!"
He took a breath. "Just let me help you clean up. Please."
"You've helped enough. Just go away."
"Lily—"
"Do you know how many people would give anything to have this house, this pool, this life?" I said, my voice cracking at the edges. "And you don't even appreciate any of it."
"I'm sorry okay!" He grabbed a waste bag. "Just let me help!"
"So you can find another way to get me fired?" I grabbed the bag back.
He held on.
We both pulled and then my foot slipped on the wet tiles and I went down and Wade came down with me, landing over me on the foam mat nearby, catching himself with both hands so his weight didn't fully fall.
We lay there looking at each other.
He made no move to get up.
"You're not going anywhere until you listen to me," he said.
"Let go of me." I pushed against him.
"I'm sorry Lily. I mean it."
"You have tortured me for months," I said. "Why should I believe anything you say now, Wade Harrington?"
"Last night in the pool house," he said, his voice dropping, "I saw the real you. Not my nanny, not my enemy, not a stuck up know it all. Just the real you." Those eyes were completely unguarded and it made him harder to fight against. "And I don't want to fight with you anymore."
He was my bully. I was his nanny. But when he said things like that it made everything in me that wanted to resist him very tired.
"I need to go wash this foam off," I said, and stood up before I could change my mind.
I went to the outdoor pool shower and turned it on and let the water run over me, still fully dressed, washing everything off. The water was warm and the morning was quiet and I stood there trying to organise my thoughts into something manageable.
Then Wade walked into the shower.
"You cannot shower with your nanny," I said.
He came closer anyway and pressed me gently back against the wall, one hand on either side of me.
"Then for one second," he said quietly, "pretend you're not my nanny."
"Why are you doing this? You keep following me and acting like—"
"Like I want you?" he said, brushing wet strands of hair away from my face. "Would that be so bad?"
I looked at him. Shirtless, soaking, looking at me with those brown eyes that had no performance left in them. I hated Wade Harrington. I had very good documented reasons for hating Wade Harrington.
And standing in this shower I wanted to kiss him so badly it was becoming difficult to breathe.
He took my hands and guided them gently.
"Yes," I said, looking away. "It would be bad."
"You're a liar," he said. "You're checking me out right now."
"No I'm not."
"You know what I think?" He brought my face back toward his. "All this time you've been pretending to hate me when really you want me."
"How would you know that?" I said.
"Because I've been doing the same thing," he said simply. "I want you Lily Johnson. And I'm going to do something about it."
I had no words left.
He bent his head toward me and closed the distance between us and kissed me and it was desperate and honest and nothing like I had imagined and exactly like I had imagined and I wrapped both arms around his neck and kissed him back because I had run out of reasons not to.
The shower water ran over both of us and I forgot about the wrecked patio and the approaching morning and Mr. Gambino's car pulling up to a destroyed house.
Then it hit me.
Mia.
"Mia!" I pulled back and we untangled immediately, both of us breathing hard.
I dried off quickly and ran upstairs to her room.
Her bed was empty. Her headphones were on the floor. Her snacks were untouched.
I checked the bathroom. The hallway. The sitting room.
She was nowhere.