Chapter 14 Nothing more
Lily's POV
I watched the door close behind him.
He looked so downcast walking out of my room and I sat with that for a moment trying to make sense of it. Was this not the same Wade who had stood up in that cafeteria and performed my humiliation in front of everyone? Who had laughed along while Frank made jokes about my mother's eyes?
Now he was acting all cool and considerate. I wondered what his ploy was this time.
I reached for Ryan's card on the table and held it between my fingers. My childhood memories came flooding back immediately and before I knew it I was dialling the number.
He picked up immediately.
"Hi, who is this?" His voice was deep and familiar and I lost mine completely.
"Who's there?" A brief pause. "Network issues?"
I kept listening to his voice and surprisingly tears filled my eyes. I kept comparing myself to him, the boy I had known against the man he had become, and then comparing both versions of him to the version of me sitting on this bed. How would he see me in such a pitiable state?
I wanted so badly to go back to those days when we were both fat and shared snacks and laughed and had each other. Simple and uncomplicated and safe.
But it was never going to be like that again. Never.
I ended the call.
He rang back immediately. I watched the screen light up and ignored it. He rang again and again and again until I finally picked up.
"Lily?" he said.
I was genuinely shocked. "How did you know it was me?"
"Because I know you," he said simply. "And I know right now that something is wrong."
"Come on, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to say hi," I said.
"Hmm." He did not push it. "How is work?"
"Work is fine. How are your parents?"
"Disappointed."
"Disappointed? Why?"
"Because you did not come back with me."
I laughed, genuinely, the sound surprised me. "Ryan! Did you not tell them I was working and in school at the same time?"
"They were worried that the load is too much for you," he said. "Lily, you are a strong girl but sometimes you just need to let loose."
"I cannot Ryan. And I do not want to be a burden to anyone."
"Lily, I really care about you and I know that you might be going through a lot, I was there before–"
My mind sent negative signals to my head immediately, maybe he pitied me, felt sorry for me and that was the last thing I wanted from anyone.
I kept quiet for sometime then said hesitantly
"I am already running late for school. We will talk later."
"Take care of yourself, Lily," he said, and the care in his voice was so quiet and so genuine that it settled somewhere in my chest uninvited.
After a small hesitation I replied, "I would," and ended the call.
I sat there for a moment after.
I had never known what it felt like to receive care from the opposite gender. No conditions, no performance, no agenda underneath it. I knew Ryan cared about me but maybe he's just being pitiful, being sad for me.
I wanted someone that cared about me genuinely, not because of how I am, not a care that comes from pity but one that cares for the real Lily.
The tone Ryan had used sent something through me that I could not name and was not going to spend time examining.
I freshened up quickly and opened my door to go prepare Mia for school.
Wade was standing directly outside it.
I was startled badly. "What are you doing here? Have you been eavesdropping?"
He stepped closer and that familiar inconvenient feeling moved straight to my stomach.
"Mia and I were just worried," he said quietly. "We are both already done preparing for school."
I looked past him. Sure enough Mia was at the top of the stairs in her uniform, backpack on, watching us both with those wide careful eyes.
Wade had prepared Mia for school. Very unusual.
I registered that, kept my face even and pushed him back gently but firmly.
"I did not ask for your help," I said. "I am taking a taxi to school. You can drop her off yourself."
I walked toward Mia and took her hand. She looked between me and Wade once and tightened her grip around my fingers without hesitation. She refused to join Wade in the car.
The disappointment on Wade's face as we walked past him was visible and real. I saw it clearly.
But it could not come close to what I had faced in that cafeteria yesterday.
The school day was long and quiet on my end.
I moved through it carefully, keeping my distance from the bullies, walking unnoticed between classes. I ignored the hateful eyes that followed me through corridors and kept my head down and my pen moving and stayed inside myself where it was manageable.
Even when Clara threw a hurting joke at me that made the whole class laugh their ribs out, I simply kept quiet.
“Why is the teacher slut so quiet today?” Clara walked up to me
I simply picked up a novel and began to read. She snatched it from my hands and threw it away. I stood up without any difficulty and picked it up.
Wade kept rubbing his head in helplessness, I felt so sorry at how he could be a puppet for someone he obviously dislikes.
Then he whispered something into Chris’s ears.
Then Chris walked towards Clara, “you're making yourself a fool. Go and have a seat.”
She stared at him with shame, as all her fans kept mute. She walked back to her seat and never bullied me again throughout the day although she made hurting statements.
Wade stole glances at me throughout the day. I felt every single one and looked away from every single one without acknowledgement.
During lunch I found a neat stack of expensive snacks sitting on top of my locker. The kind that only rich kids buy and I knew instantly who they were from.
I picked them up, walked to Wade's locker and set them down carefully in front of it.
Then I went and sat alone and ate the lunch I had packed myself.
Whatever Wade was doing, I was not available for it. He did not get to humiliate me in public and quietly make up for it in private on a schedule that suited him.
The only thing that connected me to Wade Harrington was work.
Nothing more.