Chapter Twenty One —Rick

It was weird, the other day when I ate with Katie, I had the slight impression she was jealous of Maite. I should have been upfront and told her about their mom as soon as she’d started, but I wasn’t proud of the situation.

I was embarrased about the way I’d treated their mom, and often wondered what the conversation would be like when they were older. Could I just tell them their mom dumped them at the door and ran off with a note for me.

I couldn’t do that, it would hurt them and I even more for revealing the truth. I suppose for now, I would continue just going on with life as I’d done so far and not worry about the day. I didn’t have to do anything but think about what to do next.

It was clear the new manager was running things and she didn’t need me snooping around. Pete said I had to take a step back to focus on the next project, but what exactly?

The idea of a strip club felt like fun at the time, but sometimes seeing the girls and how they behave just bring back memories of Maite—ones I really didn’t want to bring back.

I approached Katie. “Good morning.”

“Fancy coming for a stroll?” Katie asked as she continued to prepare the stroller for the twins.

She giggled. “Sorry, it’s just your aunt brought them back at the crack of dawn, and I’ve never seen them so energized. I wonder what she’s been feeding them?”

“Coke!”

Her eyes widened.

“Hey, I’m just kidding.” She sighed with relief, and I added, “Yeah, I have a unique sense of humor.”

“I’ll say.”

“No Pete?”

She shook her head while trying to strap Rachel in, who was fighting with all her strength and pleading with me to help set her free. “I briefly saw him earlier. He said he’s heading to San Francisco for a couple of days. Most likely will be back Wednesday night. Didn’t he tell you?”

I remembered the conversation we had on the phone as she started telling me.

“Yeah, forgot.” I scratched my head, wondering whether to join them and save Katie from the evilneses in which I suspected Rachel had planned for her. How did my little brown-eyed baby turn into such a monster after spending the weekend with her aunt. Steven did what he did best—he slowly started to close his eyes to sleep.

“Let me help you,” I said as I reached out, and Rachel stretched out her arms. She had it all planned; she didn’t want to go in the stroller. She didn’t cry or scream like most babies would do at that age; no, she just fought, and I knew whatever man captured my little girl’s heart would be in for a tough job.

She smiled as she wrapped her arms through mine. As if to say, oh good, you’ve got the message!

I didn’t realize Katie was watching us.

“She really has you wrapped around her finger.”

“I’ll say. I’ll just carry her.”

“I think that’s what she wanted all along.”

Yep, Rachel was grinning, holding her head up high, knowing she wanted to be in my arms and not feeling shy about showing me her place. It dawned on me as we headed to the elevator that my little girl was clearly a reflection of me as I stroked her long dark locks, and her eyes shone. She didn’t want to share me; no, she wanted me for herself. Just like her mom did, but unlike her mom, I would make sure I wouldn’t break her heart. I would get my PI, the guy who I used last time to see if he could find her. I couldn’t imagine Maite wanting to miss out on this much of their lives. I should help her, that would be the decent thing to do.

As we stepped into the elevator, Katie was fussing, and I blurted out. “I’ve decided to go and look for Maite.”

She paused as if she was confused about what I was saying, but then her eyes met Rachel’s and it all became clear. “Good. Oh… do you think if you find her, you won’t need me anymore?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t even think about it that way. That’s not why I’m looking for her.”

I skipped the part about only deciding all of five seconds ago to do it.

“How selfish! Sure, every kid needs their mom. I don’t know where I would be without mine.”

She smiled at me, and I thought back to the conversation I had with Pete. The strange one where he’d claimed it was as if she had no one apart from Ben.

“That’s good.”

She beamed. “Yeah. She says that she wants to come here for Thanksgiving, so I’m excited about her visiting and a few things, actually. All the things I said I would do once living in the city, but never got to do.”

“That’s normal. Everyone does that. Then life gets in the way, and the things you thrive to do become a distinct dream.”

“Rick, you’re so deep. I just don’t know sometimes…”

I wouldn’t think of myself as being deep, more direct. We left the elevator and moved out of the building and onto the street. I wondered what people would think about us out and about. I noticed Katie was wearing a white dress. I’d never seen her wear it before, because it didn’t leave anything to the imagination. It was innocent in a way, but her perky breasts were showing, and she was showing some skin because it was half-way to her knees. I wondered when she went shopping, most likely yesterday, and this was why she was out most of the day.

“It’s too short, isn’t it?”

I didn’t realize I was staring at her.

“No, it’s beautiful. Really compliments your skin. You have the perfect figure. It not only compliments your skin, but your figure, too.”

Now I sounded like a big sap. Rachel started to struggle, as if to say I was paying too much attention to Kaite and not her.

“Someone’s jealous.” Katie laughed as she released her hair. Another change. Usually, she kept it high up in a bun, but now it was free and loose. I didn’t realize how long it was, and I bet she had no idea the effect she had on passersby. They would smile at her, the freshness and innocence and excitement of being with the twins. I took a peep in the stroller, and sure enough, Steven was looking around, half-interested and probably dying to go back to sleep.

Rachel, on the other hand, was looking everywhere. I realized why she wanted to be in my arms. She wanted a different viewpoint. She held on to me to see what everyone else saw, not to be at leg view so she couldn’t get a sight of all the action.

“Clever girl!” I said as I stroked her nose. She quickly jumped up her arm as if I was bothering her, then once again her eyes shifted from side-to-side as she smiled, catching every glimpse of my view.

As we stopped at the lights, I couldn’t help but tell Katie about my discovery.

“I’m not surprised. If they weren’t twins, I would say Rachel was at least one year older. She’s trying to walk, you know.”

“No!” I gasped, thinking this was all too soon. When I first discovered I was a dad nine months ago, I’d spent all the time, apart from trying to catch up on my sleep, by reading books and watching videos about their stages. And no where in there did it say at nine months they should be attempting to walk. She really was special, a little too special—a reflection of her mom as memories of what she looked like flashed through my mind.

“I thought we could sit down over there.” Katie pointed. She didn’t wait for a response as she pushed the stroller in that direction. It was a beautiful day, but nothing new here where the sunshine shines pretty much all of the time.

I took my cell out of my pocket while following Katie.

Nothing.

Zip.

I really had nothing to do. No one needed me, not even one of my brothers. Such a strange feeling, not having any one call me and wanting me to sort out some problems. The work we’d been doing and striving for this point should have made me happy. If anything, it made me feel a little sad. Until we came to a dramatic stop and Rachel started holding on to my chain.

“She doesn’t want you to let go, nor put her down.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’ll stand for a while longer, let you take on the view, then I need to sit down. I’m not that strong.”

I winked at Katie, thinking I could stand here all day. Admiring not only the view of her body, but the twins, too. Rachel was busy looking around, and Steven sluggishly, with the help of Katie, left the stroller and decided to play with some cubes. The sounds of them hitting each other meant no more did Rachel want to be in my arms, but on the ground with her brother.

She began to wince and before I could say another word, I laid her gently next to her brother.

“I’m in big trouble when she can tell me what’s on her mind,” I whispered to Katie as I approached close to her ear.

“Sometimes,” she giggled, “when I’m with them and I enter the room, I’m tempted to ask Rachel if it’s okay to enter.”

I glanced at Rachel to see if she was watching us, but she was having a good time with her brother.

“I didn’t realize she was that bad.”

She laughed. “You have no idea.”

I really didn’t because I thought I was pretty hands on, but it seems I still had a lot to learn about fatherhood.

“Don’t look like that, as if you’re disappointed not knowing everything about your kid. I’m pretty sure every parent goes through that.”

I rested my elbow down, making myself relax. She seems to be at ease, and the kids were being kids and enjoying their toys, which she strategically laid out for them.

“I know. I suppose I’m a little bit of a perfectionist.”

She choked, “You think?”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Well, when you realized what Stan had done with Bianca and you wanted her back, Pete said you were a little excited because you’d spent months looking for the perfect nanny, then ended up with me.”

“Pete loves to exaggerate.”

Or maybe not?

“No, it was the whole deception thing. Not so much about you, but more about Stan going out of his way to just pull the wool over our eyes, and then to keep you hostage in some fucked-up way. Just didn’t sit right with me. Sorry, he did that to you.”

She shook her head. “I did it to him. All I know is that fate was smiling down on me that day for sure. I would have been stuck in an apartment with a guy who was sleeping with everyone apart from me. He did me a favor in so many ways. You shouldn’t think badly of him. Especially because he’s your brother.”

I didn’t want to tell her about the darkness which laid in me. The time I met Maite, let alone the one inside of Stan, which at times keeps me up at night. I swiftly changed the conversation.

“If Pete lands this job, then we can all go visit him in San Fran if you would like? Have you been there before?”

“The most I’ve traveled is to the lake, and here. This is as much of America as I know.”

I was shocked by her revelation. How can she live here and never have seen all of it; well, not all, but at least a little more than Ohio and California.

“Even if Pete doesn’t get the job, we’ll still visit.”

“It’s on my top ten places to visit. Oh wow, thanks.” She wrapped her arms around me. As she realized maybe she'd been a bit too forward, she pulled back and stuttered, “Sorry.”

There was nothing to be sorry about, and for a split second, I forgot about the twins. Shoot, this is why we were here. Rachel yanked on my chain again. No doubt for her to be back up again, she was probably bored playing with the toys. I held her in my arms and stood again, awkwardly making sure I didn’t lose my balance.

I looked down, and Katie was looking up and smiling at us. I loved her smile.

What the hell was I thinking when the word love and Katie popped into my mind?

***

There was a knock at my door. I knew Stan wasn’t back and as for Pete, he texted and said he would be there the whole week since things were looking promising. I could tell by the conversation he was excited about the prospect of working in San Fran.

Maybe this was a good thing. Stan, Pete and I had spent so much time together, somehow along the way, we’d morphed into one. Maybe with Pete away and Stan off to find himself, this could be the time for me to spend with not only the twins, but with Katie, too.

“A penny for your thoughts.” Katie smiled as she opened the door.

“Pete said he wasn’t coming back for a few days, the twins are down, and I haven’t seen you around that much since we went to the park. I thought maybe we could eat or maybe go out, that’s if you’re not busy?”

She raised an eyebrow. She was wearing hot pants and a bright orange shirt. I noticed she’d strayed away from the dark clothes she wore when she first lived here and seemed to be venturing out.

“Cats out.” I smiled as I stood up from the bed.

She moved closer to me. “Oh, you know the label?”

“Yeah, I may be a little older, but I’m not completely out of it. Besides, I remember the girls in the club talking about it when they first opened their store. They said they loved the designs, and the store was always busy meaning they caused quite a storm since the time they opened.”

“I just happened to be passing the store, and I must admit the window caught my eye. I’m not that much into designer clothes.”

“Maybe L.A.’s rubbing off on you.”

She lifted her hand as if to weigh up the options on whether it was rubbing off on her or not. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

I shook my head as we naturally moved closer to each other. We were flirting, toying with each other, and as I opened my mouth to reply to her question, it was met with a finger.

“Don’t spoil it.”

“May I kiss you?” I asked as I moved the finger away from my lips.

“I thought you would never ask.”