Chapter 51 Chapter 51 Love you
"Is Mason coming?" Erika asks, lounging back like she has nothing better to do than interrogate me.
"How is he, by the way? Still a thirty-second nut, or has he improved?" Tish adds, completely serious.
"You guys have been seeing each other for like two months and you haven’t shared. What is going on?" Gemma chimes in.
I am going to fucking explode.
Too many questions. All at once. My brain short-circuits.
I haven’t. We haven’t had sex yet.
Eight weeks. Two dates and one workout session a week. That’s twenty-four fucking times I’ve seen him.
Twenty-four.
And all we do is make out.
I am so sexually frustrated I could scream.
I haven’t even called Nick. That alone should tell me something. I’m actively seeing someone, and for once, I don’t want to fuck anyone else. Mason is hot—like painfully hot. His skin, his lips, his arms, his ass. I want him. I want him to fuck me. And he just… hasn’t.
What the fuck!!!
I’m screaming inside my head, and outside of school I can barely focus on anything else.
"Earth to Elle???" Gemma waves a hand in front of my face.
"I’m sorry—what?" I blink.
"How is sex with Mason???" Nick asks, stepping in now. "Where are you today?"
We’re all scattered around the house, decorating. Erika and Tish are by the pool, sipping drinks while getting pampered by beauticians. Colt is behind Gemma, grabbing her ass and distracting her every two seconds. Kyle is blowing up balloons by mouth while we all refuse to let him use the machine—just to see how long before he complains. Marcus is bringing his crew later for some routine. We’ve been trying to convince Gemma to celebrate her nineteenth birthday, but she refuses—only wants to acknowledge twenty-one. I don’t get it. I love birthdays. Any excuse to celebrate me.
"We haven’t had sex," I finally admit, my thoughts settling just enough to speak.
"Wait, babe… what?" Nick stares at me. "How many dates? And no sex?"
"I mean, on the first date there was some grinding," I say, drifting off as I remember his hands gripping my ass. "It was great... but since then, just making out. He never takes it further. I haven’t even been to his place. Maybe he doesn’t want to have sex with me. Maybe he doesn’t like me like that. But then why keep asking me out? Is something wrong with me?"
And just like that, I’ve fallen straight down the rabbit hole—faster than Alice ever could.
We have fun. We box together. I’m getting stronger. He’s always touching me, hugging me. His kisses are insane—next level.
But fuck me—I need that dick before I lose my mind.
"All his dates are thoughtful... maybe he just wants it to be special?" Erika shrugs.
"OMFG, I just want to get railed!!!"
They all burst out laughing, but I’m dead serious.
Nick steps closer, his hand brushing my lower back. "Why didn’t you call me?"
I hesitate.
"Do you really like him?" he presses.
"Umm… I don’t know. Do I?"
"Damn, Elle!" Gemma laughs. "You do. If you didn’t, you would’ve called Nick. He’d be railing you after every date."
Nick grins at me, and I can’t help it—my mind flashes through exactly how that would look. How that would feel.
Hot.
My phone buzzes, snapping me out of it.
"Oh shit, look at that smile. Is that him?" Gemma leans in, grinning.
Am I smiling?
My face feels… soft. Relaxed. Shit. Have I been walking around like this because of him?
Maybe I do like him.
I answer and put him on speaker.
"Hey!!! Are you done golfing? You’re on speaker!"
"Yeah, just finished and showered. I should be there in about twenty. Do you need me to grab anything on the way, babe?" His voice is slightly breathless, smooth in a way that slides right under my skin.
"NO BABE, we’re good! Get your sexy ass here!!!" Gemma yells.
Mason laughs—that deep, full laugh I love way too much.
"I’m sorry, that was Gemma," I say. "Be ready for teasing and hazing tonight."
"Send Elle a shirtless picture! We all know you’re not a flabby heavyweight. Let’s see those abs!!!" Gemma hollers.
I want to die.
Mason just laughs harder.
My phone pings.
I already know what it is.
I open the message.
Fuck.
The angle is from below—his boxer waistband just visible, abs tight, chest broad, his Adam’s apple drawing my eyes up as he looks slightly above the camera. His skin is smooth, dark, perfect.
My mouth goes dry.
My hands get sweaty.
I want to touch him. Run my hands over every inch of that.
"Did you get it?" His voice drops lower.
"I did," I grin. "I’ll see you soon."
"K, love you! Bye!"
The call ends.
Silence.
Heavy, suffocating silence.
My eyes are still on my phone, but I can feel everyone staring at me.
Love you.
Did he mean that?
Or was it just… habit?
The room tilts slightly. I grab the back of the couch, steadying myself. My heartbeat pounds in my ears.
Mason doesn’t give me butterflies like Ivan. I’m not obsessed like I was with Sergey.
But I like him.
I feel safe with him.
He’s kind. Respectful. Thoughtful.
But… love?
Already?
My thoughts spiral out of control.
My phone rings again.
It’s him.
I stare too long. It goes to voicemail.
Then it rings again.
This time I answer, bringing it to my ear.
"Elle?" His voice is tight. Nervous. Wind rushes behind him—he’s driving. "I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I didn’t mean to—I mean, I do—but I didn’t mean to say it over the phone."
I sink down onto the couch, silent.
Everyone is watching me.
"Say something, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry. I’ve been holding it in all week."
All week.
My skin prickles.
My heart races.
"Please tell me what you’re thinking," he continues. "Is it too early? We can forget it. I won’t say it again. I’m not asking you to say it back."
He keeps talking, rambling, trying to fix something that might not even be broken.
"Mason?" I whisper, cutting him off.
Everything inside me feels heavy.
Uncertain.
Real.
"I… I… I love you."
The words fall out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Gemma’s eyes go wide.
And I sink deeper into the couch, the weight of what I just said pressing down on my chest, wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.