Chapter 34 Chapter 34 Shopping Trip
"How’s Ivan doing?" Gabriella laughs as we try on dresses.
We are in Old Town, in a small, well-hidden dress shop. They have the best party dresses. How’s Ivan? He is a fucking nightmare. I can hear his voice echo in my head—“Put some clothes on,” my pajamas are too small for him. “You ruin the coffee” when I add milk and sugar to my cup. “You take too long in the shower”—there is one bathroom, so we have to share. “You eat too much junk” every time I have a piece of chocolate. My absolute favorite is when he banged on my door while I was masturbating—“Give it a rest,” he yelled. I have never been more annoyed by a man. All he does is work on his laptop or walk around the apartment on his phone.
I have been going out every day, meeting with old friends and classmates, doing touristy things. Plovdiv is so beautiful. I didn’t realize how much I have missed home. Getting lunch with my aunt and uncles. Seeing my sister and cousins is the best. George has not tried to get a hold of me—that is a big plus. Other than my Ivan issues, I am having a relaxing vacation.
We are picking out dresses for my eighteenth birthday. Stanislav demanded to have a big party at the club. I have sent invites to all my friends in Bulgaria. Gemma says we are celebrating when I get home—she has a night out planned.
"He is… so fucking annoying!!!" I exclaim.
"You don’t want to fuck him anymore???" giggles my sister.
"Shut up! Just shut up! He complains about everything. Ivan is like Aunt Tanya!" I say, smirking, and we all laugh because Aunt Tanya is hell. "I have to admit, though, he does smell amazing, and when he walks around in his boxers first thing in the morning…" I fan myself. I can feel the heat rise from my neck to my face.
"He walks around naked?" asks Elena.
"Pretty much. He is covered in tattoos—and I mean covered. They go all the way down to the tops of his feet. I wonder if his ass is covered too, and—" I stop talking because the shop lady is giving me dirty looks.
I slip on a dark blue dress and step out of the dressing room. It’s silk, clinging to me like water. The front is cut in a V-line, the back straps are crossed. At the bottom, the fabric fades into white.
"Yes! That one!" says my sister. She and my cousins stand in front of me.
"But you wouldn’t sleep with him because he is…" Gabriella trails off, and I pick up.
"He is annoying. I would not sleep with him if he was the last guy on this planet." I laugh as I start to unzip the dress. "Even if his dick is big. I would rather chew off my own arm." I keep going, even though my cousins are silent, just staring at me with wide eyes. "He is probably super boring… all the scary guys are. After Tripod, it’s going to take a lot to impress me."
Gabriella is making a cut-it-out motion, like she’s slitting her own throat. God damn it. I hear Ivan clear his throat behind me. Now I am trying to figure out how long he has been standing back there. What the hell is he doing here anyway?
"What are you doing here?" I ask dryly, turning to look at him.
"Coming to pick you up. We are watching the fight, and Stanislav said you ladies don’t have a ride." He grinds his teeth—he looks pissed off. He leans down as my cousins and sister scurry away into the dressing rooms. "That dress is a hideous color."
"Asshole," I whisper to myself as I walk back into the dressing room and take the dress off.
Walking out of the shop after my sister and cousins get their dresses, I see him. Ivan is leaning against the building, smoking. Gross. He pushes off and opens the car door to the front passenger seat. I scoff and walk around the car to sit behind him in the back. Gabriella sits in the front, Elena and Helena in the back with me. He adjusts the mirror before taking off. I watch him, waiting to see him dig his elbow into the center console, but he doesn’t. He might as well be pressed up against his door, both hands on the steering wheel.
"Do you want to go somewhere else to look for a dress? We have another week!" asks my sister.
"No!!!" I cut her off. "I have something I can wear. It’s not a big deal."
She doesn’t say anything else. Helena knows how I am—I dig my heels in. If I can’t find anything to wear, I won’t go out.
Gabriella turns. "That dress was cute, and you looked good. I don’t want you to skip your birthday party because you couldn’t find anything to wear… or you just don’t feel comfortable in your own skin."
Ivan turns slightly.
"For someone who wears such skimpy clothes, you sure are uncomfortable in your skin," Elena adds.
"When she was six…" my sister starts.
"Shut the fuck up, Helena!!!" I snap, putting my hand on Ivan’s shoulder. "STOP the car, now!!!"
He stops, and I hop out. "I am going to walk!" I slam the door and start walking.
I don’t need Ivan to know about my damn trauma—the reason why I have so many clothes or why it’s hard to feel good in anything I put on. I file those reasons in a small box in the back of my mind and lock them up, chain them down, and toss them into the void.
I walk down the mirrored hallway, passing the kitchen. As I reach the dining room and living room, I can hear everyone hollering at the TV. They are watching Sergey’s fight in Germany.
"Elle, are you ok?" asks Stanislav.
"I’m sorry!" says Helena.
I continue walking until I get to the bedroom. Ignoring them all.
"I took all her snacks, she will come out!" I hear Gabriella say as I walk into the bedroom.