Chapter 166 Chapter 166 Strawberries
"That was close," Tiana chuckles, sipping her mai tai like nothing in the world could rattle her.
"Thank you. I don't know what it is about him. Ugh." I clutch my cold glass tighter than necessary, like the condensation might anchor me, keep me from slipping back into whatever hold he has on me.
"He has always had a way of getting exactly what he wants," his mother laughs.
"I just have to remind myself that he is a damn dog." I pause, taking a long sip from my Long Island iced tea. It burns going down—I shouldn’t be drinking something this strong, not tonight, not when my emotions are already too close to the surface.
"I thought I raised him right, but the apple only falls so far from the tree," Christina says, glancing at Illia Sr.
I feel her pain—I really do. Maybe not as deeply as she does, though. She was pregnant with Ivan while Illia was out fucking around on her. That kind of betrayal doesn’t just fade. It must have been unbearable seeing Nadia pregnant too, both of them carrying his children, the boys born within weeks of each other. My stomach twists.
Oh God, please don’t let that happen to my son. I don’t want him growing up to be anything like his father.
I stare into my drink, letting my thoughts drift somewhere dangerous—into the future, into possibilities I don’t want to claim. Christina shifts the conversation, asking Tiana if they’ve finally set a wedding date. For fuck’s sake, it’s been years.
"You've been engaged for six years. Marry the girl already!" I holler across the room at my cousin.
He turns, laughing nervously, rubbing his bald head like he’s hoping friction will produce an answer. Miroslav stands behind him, rubbing his shoulders like he’s his personal stress reliever. They’re leaning against the bar closest to us.
Miroslav steps around him and blows me a kiss.
"I would rather eat soap than kiss your sloppy ass ever again," I snap without missing a beat.
He grabs himself and shakes his junk at me. I roll my eyes so hard it almost hurts.
"It’s not even a handful," I shoot back.
Christina and Tiana burst out laughing, while Marta just shakes her head at me like I haven’t changed at all. Maybe I’ve calmed down a little since becoming a mom, but my mouth? Still reckless as ever.
A plate of sweets suddenly appears in front of me, followed by another drink. I don’t even have to look to know who it is.
Ivan.
Of course.
His cheek brushes mine, just barely, but it’s enough. For a split second, I lose myself in it—in him. The warmth, the familiarity, the pull. Then I snap back.
Stop. Remember—he’s a dog. A fucking horn dog. Ivan would hump anything with a pulse. Whatever spark his touch ignited dies just as quickly as it came.
"He loves you," Christina says softly. "He always comes back to you." Her hand reaches for mine. "I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’m going to because I’m drunk..." She giggles, and for a moment she looks younger, lighter. "At your baptism—yes, I was there—he said you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He said one day he was going to marry you."
I fight to keep my face neutral. I don’t want to look surprised. Or touched. Or anything other than annoyed, because… fuck him. He loves me? Then why does he treat me like shit?
"I don’t need his love. His love hurts and I'm over the pain."
My confession lands heavy on the table, silencing everyone. The air shifts, thick and uncomfortable. Illia Sr. stands and asks Christina for a dance. She takes his hand like it’s instinct, like she doesn’t even consider saying no.
She’s trapped in the same web I am.
And no matter how hard I try, I know I’ll never fully escape him either.
I can already see it—my life stretched out ahead of me, filled with disappointment, with heartbreak layered on top of heartbreak. It’s exhausting just thinking about it. I let out a quiet breath, shaking my head at myself.
God, I’m such an airhead sometimes. Where is my spine?
Maybe I’ll get a break in the next life. Maybe Nick is somewhere out there, waiting for me, somewhere peaceful and untouched by all this chaos.
"Ah! That’s my song!" Tiana shrieks, jumping to her feet. "Come dance with me?"
I hesitate for half a second. I know it’s a mistake—I can feel it—but I nod anyway. I’m already counting down the minutes until I can leave this place, but for now, I let her pull me to the dance floor.
The music shifts into something smooth, an R&B track that wraps around us as we sway. It’s slow, almost hypnotic. My cousin watches us from across the room, his expression practically screaming that he’s about to say something stupid.
Sure enough, he makes his way over, weaving through people until he’s standing behind Tiana.
"You two have never… right?"
Tiana and I both burst out laughing.
"No, Stanislav. Tiana is not into girls. Although—" I smirk, leaning in just enough to make him uncomfortable, "—if you don’t get your head on right, my head game is really good. Gemma says I’m better than Alek, and that asshole is amazing."
"I think you and your cousin have that in common," Tiana laughs, turning and wrapping her arms around him.
They start whispering to each other, their little bubble forming instantly, and I suddenly feel like the third wheel. Typical.
I turn to slip away, but before I can, someone steps into my path.
Jax.
I can’t help it—I smile. That mischievous grin of his is dangerous. Familiar.
My hands slide up onto his shoulders, steadying myself as his hands immediately wander somewhere they shouldn’t be. They settle lower than acceptable, but I’m older now. Maybe he doesn’t see me as that awkward kid anymore. Or maybe he’s just drunk and trying to piss off his brother.
Either way, he pulls me closer.
Fucking Pavlov men and their hard bodies.
He smells expensive—clean, sharp, intoxicating. My eyes flick up just in time to catch Christina watching us from across the room. I quickly look away, but the thought sneaks in anyway.
I still wonder how amazing he would be in bed.
He’s twenty years older than me. That should matter more than it does.
His hand slides down to the middle of my ass, squeezing firmly, and it sends a jolt straight through me. I suck in a breath, my body reacting before my mind can catch up. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched by an actual man—really touched—and I hate how quickly I melt into it.
He leans in, burying his face in the crook of my neck.
"You smell like strawberries," he murmurs, his voice low, almost a moan.
Then I feel it—his tongue, slow and deliberate, gliding over my skin.
"Jax! Stop." I push against his chest, forcing space between us. My heart is racing, my body still buzzing from the contact. "What’s come over you?"