Luke
Yup, this ridiculous fifties getup was totally worth it to see Suzie cracking up on our first date.
“I love it,” she said.
“What about you?” I eyed her outfit, which looked exactly like what she wore to school every day.
She looked down too, a blush creeping up her neck and into her hair, which I was happy to see she was wearing loose. “What about it?”
“You look beautiful,” I said, making that blush deepen to crimson. “But don’t tell me you’re going to make me walk around in a dorky costume all by myself.”
“Well, um…”
“Margo’s dressed up,” I said. “And so is Jason.”
“That’s because I made him,” Margo said with a proud grin. “He makes a cute zombie, right?”
Jason rolled his eyes but he was grinning down at his girlfriend like a love-struck moron.
“I don’t really do costumes,” Suzie said, shifting from one foot to the other. “I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in years.”
I took a step closer, my heart starting to thud loudly in my chest. It was nerves, plain and simple. Not because this was our first date, but because I’d promised myself that tonight would be the night. I wouldn’t let this thing between us go any further until she knew the truth about who I was.
The secret had been eating at me all week. I couldn’t even go online because I’d feel too guilty if she tried to talk to me about…well, about me. Or about tonight. Or the project. About any of it.
Tonight I planned to tell her and this could very well be my opening. “Come on,” I said, meeting her gaze. “Don’t tell me you don’t have some costume lying around. Princess Zelda, maybe?”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “How did you—”
“She does,” Margo interrupted loudly. “She totally does.” And just like that she was taking off for Suzie’s bedroom with a laughing Jason in tow.
“She wouldn’t,” Suzie muttered.
A second later Margo walked back out of the bedroom, proudly holding up a Zelda costume.
Suzie frowned up at me. “How did you know—”
“I can’t believe you remembered that, Luke,” Margo interrupted with a shake of her head. She faced me with a look of awe, the princess dress dangling from one fist. “You remembered Suzie’s costume from the freshman year costume contest?”
Suzie’s frown eased and her eyes filled with a new, unexpected warmth.
Guilt had me looking down at my feet. This was definitely not the moment to explain that I hadn’t remembered her costume from years ago, I’d just assumed that a girl who loved Zelda enough to use it as her screen name would have a costume.
I was right.
“I can’t imagine it fits,” Suzie said, eyeing the fantasy princess costume with a wrinkle of her nose.
Margo scoffed. “Oh please. You’re still the same string bean you were three years ago.” She gave Suzie a shove toward her bedroom. “It’ll fit.”
I looked up at the ceiling as she changed and Jason headed to the bathroom to touch up his face paint. That was my big chance to come clean right off the bat and it had disappeared in a heartbeat.
That was what I got for trying to be clever. No more beating about the bush. I’d just find a moment when we were alone and I’d tell her. It was that simple.
A minute later my inner pep talk was interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door opening. I stopped breathing as Suzie walked out hesitantly. “I look ridiculous.”
I grinned. “You look amazing.”
Her cheeks flushed and she ducked her head.
“You ready to go, Princess Zelda?” I asked.
She nodded and we all headed out, Suzie shouting out goodbye to her folks as we went. Jason and I drove separately so Suzie and I agreed to meet them there.
“Where’s Matt?” I asked as we climbed into my car.
“He’ll meet us there too,” she said.
Something in her tone told me not to ask too many questions. We fell back into silence, which was unusual for us. This whole past week we’d been alone more than ever and I’d grown used to the easy chatter. But this time… I shifted uncomfortably. Well, now I had a secret to share and this could very well be the opportune moment.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to—”
“Matt thinks you’re dating me as a joke.”
She spoke at the same time as me and her words shocked me into silence. “He what?”
I glanced over and saw her staring straight ahead.
“You know that’s not true, right?” I honestly wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or horrified by the insinuation. I mean, I knew I had a certain reputation at school, but I didn’t think I was known for being cruel.
She fidgeted with the skirt of her dress. “I told him you weren’t.”
I didn’t miss the way she’d worded that—not exactly saying she believed me but not saying she didn’t either. I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
The moment I’d been waiting for?
This was not it.
If she was already doubting me and my intentions, dropping this on her now was a surefire way to send her running. I loosened my death grip on the wheel and turned to her with a smile. “I’m sorry to hear Matt’s so suspicious of me, but as long as you know that this is for real, that’s all that matters, right?”
She gave me a small smile in return. “Right.” Then she turned her attention back to the silky material in her hands as she adjusted her skirt. “I can’t believe I let Margo convince me to wear this.”
I covered her hand with one of mine. “You look beautiful.”
She gave a little snort of amusement that had me grinning. “I look ridiculous.”
“Join the club.” I glanced down meaningfully at my leather jacket and white T-shirt. “But that’s what Halloween is all about, right?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she shifted in her seat so she was facing me. “You look good as a fifties greaser.”
“I do, huh?” I gave her an exaggeratedly cocky grin as I waggled my eyebrows. “Maybe I’ll wear leather more often.”
She laughed and just like that the tension in the car eased. All talk of Matt and his mistrust were forgotten—for now, at least—and I focused on the fact that for tonight we were just two people on a date.
My secret could wait a little while longer.
We met up with Jason and Margo in the parking lot and entered the carnival. I laughed as we stepped through the gates, and Suzie gave me a questioning look.
“I just remember this all being so much…bigger,” I said.
Suzie smiled and for the first time since we arrived, she looked at ease. She slipped her hand into mine and tugged. “Come on, the haunted house is this way and it’s my favorite part.”
I let her lead me, reveling in the fact that she was relaxed enough around me to hold my hand, loving that she felt comfortable enough to eat cotton candy and squeal like a kid at the ridiculously hokey haunted house.
It was all so childish and ridiculous and…fun.
We were having such a good time, neither of us got too weird when Matt showed up along with some of his guy friends. I recognized them, of course—our school wasn’t all that big not to know everyone in our class. But they weren’t guys I’d ever hung out with before. They were the AV club geeks. Nice enough, but they were all eyeing me oddly like they were waiting for me to pull them into a headlock and give them a noogie or something.
I leaned down to Suzie as we all stood around eating corn dogs and laughing about the costumes that passed us by. “Do I really have such a bad rep?”
She patted my arm. “It’s not your fault, really.” She shrugged. “Ever since the whole hashtag thing there’s been a lot of…resentment.”
“Toward me?’
“Toward popular people,” she said diplomatically.
That’s when it happened. It was like Suzie’s words had summoned them.
“Yo, Warner!” Joel and his football buddies towered over the middle school crowd around them as they made their way over to us.
Margo sighed. “Oh joy. Here comes our favorite people.”
“What are they doing here?” Suzie hissed. I had no answer.
I looked to Jason and he shrugged, giving Suzie an apologetic wince. Everyone knew that Suzie and her friends blamed Joel for the photo that ended up in the slideshow and started the whole #GeeksGoneWild tagging trend on social media. And it was just as well known that Joel blamed Suzie for the GeekBook website that was put up in retaliation. The site that featured photos of Joel that were…less than flattering.
Needless to say, there was no love lost between these two. I took a step closer to Suzie and wrapped an arm around her shoulder but I felt her stiffen at the intimate touch. For a second I wondered if she didn’t want me touching her because it would call attention to the fact that we were on a date, or if she just didn’t want me touching her.
But that inner dilemma would have to wait because Margo groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Joel and his cronies were followed closely by Cara, head mean girl herself, and some of her friends from the cheerleading squad. Our friend Julia wasn’t with them, but that wasn’t much of a surprise. If these guys were here to make fun of the geeks who spent their Halloween at the middle school carnival, she’d want no part of it. Unlike her friend Cara, Julia managed to defy the whole mean girl cheerleader cliché.
As they got closer and I saw Joel’s malicious little smile there was no doubt in my mind that was exactly why they were here.
Wonderful. My first date with Suzie and it was hijacked by the king of alphaholes himself.
“Bro,” Joel said to me as he drew close. “What are you doing here?” But even as he spoke his gaze dropped down to take in my arm around Suzie, who was still tense against my side.
“No. Way.” Cara came to a stop next to Joel and leveled me and Suzie with a knowing look that was pure evil amusement. “Seriously? You two?”
Joel’s head swiveled back and forth between me and Jason. “Is this contagious now?”
“You’d better take a step back, man,” Joel’s friend Ryan said. “You don’t want to catch the loser plague.”
“Funny,” Margo said, her tone flat. “You’re hilarious, Ryan.”
Matt and his friends were quiet, watching from the background, but the tension in the air was palpable.
Cara shook her head, her gaze still fixed on me and Suzie. “You’ve got to be kidding, right?” She let out a laugh. “When Dale told me you and Jason were going out with these guys to this lame kids’ carnival, I figured you were just tagging along as a joke.”
Dale. So that was who told them where we were tonight. It was official—I was going to have to kick Dale’s butt.
“Maybe it is a joke,” Joel said, his eyes on me as he outright ignored Suzie. “This is a joke, right man? I mean, you’re not seriously trying to tap that.”
His friends all cracked up at the crude comment as Margo and Jason both launched into protests. I was vaguely aware of Suzie’s friends coming to her rescue, but I was more focused on Suzie herself who hadn’t moved a muscle.
Her silence was freaking me out.
I knew her well enough to know that despite her quiet demeanor at school, the girl had a temper. A fierce temper. She should have been giving it back to Joel, or at the very least storming off. Her lack of a reaction made my blood run cold because a horrible suspicion was nagging at me.
Her story about Cara inviting her out with her friends as a joke, her mistrust of me and my interest in her from day one, the fact that Matt had outright told her I was just going out with her as a joke…
There was a chance that she believed them—all of them. Cara, Joel, Matt. There was a part of her that actually believed I was capable of that.
My chest physically hurt at the thought. But Joel was grinning at his own joke and Cara was smirking, and everyone was waiting for me to respond.
“There’s no need to be bitter,” I said with the grin I’d perfected years ago. It was the one that said I had this all under control. It was one I’d learned to don to look confident even when I wasn’t. Right now, I slid on that mask and tightened my grip on my girl. I met Joel’s eyes and widened that smile. “Just because you can’t get a girl of your own shouldn’t make you feel like you’re less of a man.”
Margo sniggered beside me as Jason groaned. He was always trying to make peace with everyone, which was all fine and good. But right now this Neanderthal was outright offending Suzie.
That would not do.
“Seriously, dude,” I said to Joel. “If you need to stick to blow-up dolls for a while, we’ll all support you. Not everyone can date a real girl. It’s not for everyone—”
“Whatever, man,” Joel said as he waved me off. His friends were laughing along with me and Margo, and there was nothing Joel disliked more than being the butt of a joke.
I wasn’t a peacemaker like Jason, and I didn’t get my kicks from fighting like Joel, but I knew how to hold my own in a fight. I knew how to spin the conversation to make Joel look like a loser, and Joel—well, the extent of his intellect began and ended with plays on the football field so he was left to say things like, “whatever, man” as his friends turned on him.
But that was the thing about friends like his. They were more interested in looking cool than in standing by their buddies. They had no allegiance, no loyalty. It was every man for himself in Joel and Cara’s world of frenemies and one-upmanship.
“Whatever,” Joel said again as Cara took up the role of mockery. That girl lived to skewer her friends and watch them squirm, and Joel was no exception.
“Is that why Brittany dumped you?” she said. “I heard it was because you’re a terrible kisser.”
Joel sneered at her. “Not funny, Cara.”
She shrugged. “That’s just what I heard.”
I took a step back, tugging Suzie with me. Let them bicker among themselves. Ryan was the one who intervened. “Guys, what are we even doing here?” He looked around at the haunted house and costume-clad kids. “This is lame.”
Joel started to back away. “We just came to see Jason playing lapdog with his weirdo girlfriend,” he said. “But this…” He pointed to me and Suzie. “This is just disgusting, man.”
His friends laughed but they were walking away and I wasn’t about to make this torture last any longer by responding.
“Come on, we’ve got a party to get to,” Cara reminded Joel as she tugged on his arm. He turned and headed out the way they’d come in, and we all watched them leave.
“Well,” Jason said slowly, breaking the silence. “That was…unpleasant.”
Margo snickered at the understatement and I looked down to see Suzie’s reaction. Her expression was hard to read.
“You okay?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Do you want to head out of here?” I asked.
She nodded. We didn’t get far, just a few steps, before Matt stepped away from his buddies and into my path. “This is your fault.”
“Matt,” Margo said. “Not now.”
Suzie shifted, twisting herself out from under my arm. Matt shook his head, clearly pissed and looking for someone to take it out on. “You’ve spent the past decade hanging out with Joel and guys like him, and now…what? We’re all supposed to believe that you and Jason are just different? That you woke up one day and discovered that Margo and Suzie are suddenly cool enough for you to notice?”
I stared at him in shock because, quite frankly, no one had ever called me out before. Not like this. Jason was at my side and I glanced over to see the same shock on his face as well.
“What changed?” Matt demanded.
“Matt.” Suzie’s voice was low and filled with warning. No, it was almost pleading. I glanced down at her and saw that her eyes were filled with tears.
Crap. An angry Suzie I could deal with. Heck, she was kind of adorable and hilarious when she was annoyed with me. But this? This look of hurt?
I didn’t know if it was because of Matt, or me, or what Joel had said. All I knew was I needed to make it right. That need was so strong and so urgent, it felt dangerously close to panic. Like some part of me knew that if I didn’t fix this, if I didn’t make her understand exactly how much I felt for her, I could very well lose her for good.
“Neither of you ever paid attention to them before that stupid photo went viral,” Matt said. I glanced over at him again, shocked into silence by the level of emotion in his voice. It wasn’t just anger, and it wasn’t just frustration. Something more was going on here.
I tried to keep my voice calm to pacify him. “Look, I get that you want to protect your friends, but—”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t get it. None of you do.” He turned around, his cape whipping around him and giving him a melodramatic flair I doubted was intentional. “You know what, forget it.”
He stormed off with Margo chasing after him. Jason followed her, with Matt’s friends following slowly as well, apparently to see more drama unfold.
That left me and Suzie alone and I turned to face her. “Are you okay?”
She met my gaze and I was relieved to see that any sign of tears had vanished. But whatever she was thinking, whatever she was feeling, it was hidden well behind an icy mask.
“What were they doing here?” she asked, nodding in the direction where Joel had left. “Your friends,” she clarified. The way she said it made me wince.
“They’re not my friends.”
“Really?” she shot back. “Since when?”
I opened my mouth and shut it again. How to explain that they were just people I hung out with. They were the people who threw the best parties and so I found myself in their orbit. That didn’t mean I had heart to hearts with those people.
She shook her head as she backed away from me. “Maybe Matt was right.”
Ouch. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my cool. “You can’t honestly tell me you think that I’m just dating you as some sort of joke.” I took one step toward her as she continued to back away. “I knew you didn’t have the best opinion of me, but you can’t think I’m like…” I waved a hand toward the space that Joel had occupied. “I never thought you’d lumped me in with them. Not anymore, not after—”
“Not after what?” She stopped backing away but her tone was frigid as she stared me down. “We’ve been hanging out for a week, Luke. How much do I really know about you?” She widened her eyes. “And how much do you really know about me?” She didn’t wait for a response. “When I’d said maybe Matt was right, I meant maybe he was right that this is all happening too fast. We don’t even know each other.”
I let out a short, humorless laugh. “Suzie, I’ve known you since kindergarten.”
“Exactly.” She stomped her foot in a way that would have been kind of cute if she wasn’t so freakin’ irritating right now.
“Exactly what?”
“We’ve gone to the same school together since kindergarten but you’ve never once shown any interest in being my friend, let alone…” She trailed off with a lick of her lips.
She was uncomfortable. She couldn’t even admit that I was interested in her as more than a friend. Some of my anger faded a bit at the reminder of just how innocent she was. I was willing to bet that our kiss was her first and this date was a rarity. It made sense that she’d be nervous, and it made sense that she didn’t understand why I was so interested.
But to explain that meant spilling my secret but this wasn’t the right time. She didn’t trust me, and right now she didn’t even seem to like me very much.
As if to prove my point, she continued. “I can’t believe I even agreed to this. I mean, you’ve always been friends with those people.” She said it with enough derision that I knew she was referring to Joel and Cara.
“They’re not—”
“You stood by them when Joel totally humiliated me in front of the whole school with that picture. You knew he did it and still—”
“He said he didn’t.” It just kind of came out, and I kicked myself for it.
She stared with wide eyes. “Are you defending him now?”
“No! I just…” Ah hell. I scrubbed a hand through my hair and tried to explain. “I’m not saying it wasn’t him or one of his friends, I’m just saying that he never admitted to it.”
She drew her brows together in confusion. “And what, you believe him?”
“I’m not saying I believe him, but—well, yeah. I guess maybe I do.”
Her cheeks grew red and her eyes were filled with fire. There was that temper of hers. I rushed to explain. “Listen to me, I’m not trying to defend Joel or justify anyone’s actions. That should never have happened to you and God knows there’s more than enough blame to go around for how he and his friends acted with the hashtag thing.”
“The hashtag thing,” she repeated under her breath, mimicking my tone. “Spoken like a guy who’s never been bullied.”
I couldn’t deny that. I’d always fit in, not that I really tried. It was just kind of the way I was built. My brother was the star athlete, my sister had the big brain, and I could get along with people. I could fit in anywhere; it had always been that way. I wasn’t about to apologize for that.
“Look,” I said with an exasperated sigh. “I’m not defending Joel’s actions overall and there was no excuse for the way he talked to you tonight—”
“That’s funny,” she interjected. “Because it sounds like you’re about to defend him.”
“I’m not trying to defend him, I’m just…”
“What?”
“I just don’t think Joel is clever enough to get away with something so sneaky.” I shook my head, irritated that this conversation had gone so far off the rails. “Can you honestly imagine Joel getting that photo past the AV club kids who were in charge of putting it together? Slipping it in there undetected?” I waited for her response but she kept her mouth shut tight. I could see her mind whirling, though, as I added, “The guy might be mean, but he’s a moron.”
Her lips twitched up ever so slightly at that. “I’m not going to argue that point.”
The tension in the air dropped the tiniest bit and for the first time in ages I felt like I could breathe again. I lowered my voice and mellowed my tone. “Why are we even talking about Joel?” I asked. “This thing between us has nothing to do with him.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you get it? It has everything to do with him, and with Matt, and this whole stupid hashtag thing.” She licked her lips again and her voice came out softer than ever. “Because Matt was right. You never noticed me before that all went down, so what changed?”
I opened my mouth and nothing came out. She wouldn’t understand. She’d misinterpret everything…she’d feel betrayed.
Her expression grew sad as she wrapped her arms around herself, looking small and frail in that silly princess costume. “It doesn’t make sense no matter how I look at it. It doesn’t add up. You suddenly have this great desire to date me, but you don’t even know me.”
I opened my mouth again and…nothing. I couldn’t think of the words. My pulse pounded in my ears as I stared at her in horrifyingly awkward silence.
Never in my life had I panicked with a girl. I’d never not had words at my beck and call. But right here? Right now?
I’ve got nothing.
Probably because I knew I had everything to lose. Her friendship online and the possibility of more in real life, not to mention her partnership with the competition, which had opened my eyes to a world of possibilities for me, for my future.
For the first time I actually felt like I might have a future.
But my silence lasted too long, and with a sad little sigh she turned away.
Watching her walk away from me, knowing that this could be my last chance…that was what finally snapped me out of my silence. “Suzie, wait!”