Chapter Two Hundred and Three.

Chapter Two Hundred and Three.
Ember's POV:

“She was like a strong mule. Then she gave birth to you. Raoul was not happy that you were a girl, but he doted on you because you looked so much like your mother. He went on a trip so I had my final chance to kill your mother. And I did it. I pushed her down the stairs and she died. No one knew or saw me. Raoul went ballistic. He did a lot of this that he was not supposed to do. Start fights with other gangs and all of that. He was sent out of the Mafia, so he started his own gang. I was with him throughout again. He hated when you were out of his sight.”

“That was why he brought you to the place where he met his doom and he died. You see, Mr Cross, Asher's father, had this vendetta against him. Raoul raped and killed his sister. They were mortal enemies. They hated each other to death. So, in the fit to end things, Raoul kidnapped his pregnant wife to lure Mr Cross out and kill him. You were in a room in the warehouse too. So was I. But it didn't go according to plan. Nothing that night went according to plan.” Her voice was sounding from afar. Like she was reminiscing about the events of that night.

Then, I started to feel this pounding headache. A pressure started to build behind my head at the nape of my neck. Flashes of the nightmare about a fire outbreak that I used to have began forming in my mind, ringing a bell in my memories.

“Mr Cross bombed the warehouse. With you and I inside. I thought Raoul would escape. So, instead of leaving you to die there like I would have wanted, I saved you. So that I would gain his favour. But guess what?” She started to laugh maniacally again. “I should have let you die that night so that I would not have been stuck to you the way I am right now.” My whole body was shaking, my hand trembling as I held the phone to my ear, almost dropping it but I had on.

I didn't know what to do. Fear gripped me. The person I thought was my mother is apparently not my mom and the man I loved with my whole being must think that I'm a pawn in this whole game. Even his father thinks so. Was that why he was talking about killing me earlier?

“You should have died. Even the father of that man you're frolicking around with hates you and every single thing you stand for. You're the daughter of the man who raped his sister, kidnapped his wife twice and almost killed his son. The exact son you're in love with now. Do you think you would ever find love?” She said, laughing like a psycho.

The phone in my hand dropped to the floor. My throat felt tight. My chest was even tighter. I could not breathe. I was beating my chest. My head was swirling, and it was like I was hearing my mother laugh at me still.

Waste of space.

You should have died.

Someone was calling my name, but I could not concentrate.

“Ember!” I was shook out of the reverie I was in. By the time my eyes focused, Asher was in front of me. I wrenched myself out of his hands and stepped away from him as much as I could. Tears were running down my eyes. But I was not crying. I could not cry. Not this time.

There was nothing to cry about. This was just my life. I have a pathetic life. Why did I think for one second that I would have peace and I would have something or someone to call my own?

What made me think I could love normally like every single person out there when my existence was not even normal? I was never wanted as a child, growing up too. Even now that I'm an adult, I was still not wanted.

“Stay….s..stay away.” I tried to get the words out of my mouth, but they came out in a confused way.

Nothing was adding up right now.

“Ember. Did I do something?” He asked. I don't know if it was my fucked up head, but did his voice shake right now? I raised my head and looked at him, he looked just as confused as I was.

“I…I need to go.” I said and turned, trying to find my way back in the haze my head was in right now. I stumbled and was about to fall when I felt him gather me in his arms.

“Don't touch me.” I struggled in his arms but he didn't let go. He should. He should let me go. He should not touch me. I'm not clean. I'm not deserving of whatever this was. His care and love. No. It was not for me.

“No. You know I won't. Talk to me.” He breathed out.

“You know who I am right?” I asked him.

“Yes. You're Ember, I call you Red. You….”

“No. You know who I really am. My father, what happened in the past. What my father did to your family.” I cried out.

He froze up behind me.

“Were you going to lie to me about it and pretend it didn't happen or that you didn't hear about it? Is this some kind of fucked up revenge plan for you and your father? Is that why I heard you talking about killing me?” I asked. My emotions were all jumbled up. It all came out as a vomit word.

“What are you talking about? That's not true.”

“Don't lie to me!”

“I swear. It's not what you think. Let's go back inside. I will explain to you. Do you hear me?” He said but I was not listening to him any longer. I was far gone to even listen.

“No. You need to let me go. I can't do this.” I poured out.

“You know that's not possible. We need to talk about this right now.”

I tore myself away from him and looked him in the eyes.

“Not now.” not ever. I added that last part in my head and walked away from him even though I heard him calling me to come back.

This time around, I was leaving. Leaving everything behind. All the lies and shame. Everything. I will just go. I have to.

But then, one thing I'm sure of is that I'm leaving a piece of my life with him. My whole heart is with him and I know I would not be able to get it back.