Chapter 142 Do you love papa?
Lila struggled for an answer that would make sense to a three-year-old. "Your father loved your mother very much. Sometimes when we love people and lose them, talking about them hurts. Not because we don't want to remember, but because we miss them so much."
"Do you love Papa?"
The question caught Lila off-guard. "I... that's complicated."
"Why? Love isn't complicated. Miss Clara says love is simple. You either love someone or you don't." Theo tilted his head, studying her with those perceptive green eyes. "You smell like Papa. Miss Clara says people who belong together smell the same."
Lila's breath caught. "What do you mean?"
"You smell like home. Like Papa. Like you're supposed to be with us." Theo said it with such simple certainty. "Why don't you live with us? Why do you sleep in the servant rooms instead of with Papa and me?"
"Because... because your father and I have things we need to work out first. But Theo, I want you to know something." Lila held his face between her hands. "I love spending time with you. You're brave and smart and kind. And no matter what happens with your father and me, I'll always care about you."
"I care about you too, Aunt Lila. You're nice to me. You don't get angry when I ask questions." Theo hugged her again. "I wish you were with us all the time."
Footsteps crashed through the garden. Adrian burst through the rose bushes, his face wild with panic. Guards followed close behind.
"Theo!" Adrian's voice cracked with relief. He crossed the space in three strides, reaching for his son.
Then he stopped. Saw Lila holding Theo, both of them with tears on their faces, sitting beside the fountain in the garden where he'd once told Lila about his mother.
His expression shifted. The panic drained away. Something else took its place. Something soft and vulnerable that Lila had only seen glimpses of before.
"Papa!" Theo reached for Adrian. "I got lost but Aunt Lila found me. She remembered about the roses. About Grandmama."
Adrian took his son, holding him tight. But his eyes stayed on Lila. "You remembered?"
"Just now. We were sitting here and it came back. You telling me about your mother. About finding her in this garden." Lila stood on shaking legs. "You said she'd want you to make new memories here instead of just grief."
Adrian's throat worked. He looked around the garden, seeing it through new eyes. "I brought you here three times. We'd sit by this fountain and talk for hours. You were the only person who could make me remember my mother without the pain consuming me."
"I remember now. Some of it. The feeling of peace. Of belonging." Lila took a tentative step closer. "Adrian, the memories are coming back faster. Every day, more pieces."
"I know." His voice was rough. "And when you remember everything, when you know all the ways I failed you, you'll hate me. You should hate me."
"Papa, why would Aunt Lila hate you?" Theo looked between them, confused. "You're not mean to her."
Adrian's expression twisted. "I've been very mean to her, Theo. In ways you don't understand yet."
"Then say sorry." Theo's solution was simple. "Miss Clara says when you're mean, you say sorry and try to be nice."
"It's not that simple."
"Why not?" Theo's voice rose with childish frustration. "Adults make everything complicated. Just say sorry and be nice and then Aunt Lila can live with us and nobody has to be sad anymore."
Adrian looked at his son's earnest face. Then at Lila, standing in the garden where his mother had died, where he'd once found peace with the woman the Moon Goddess chose for him.
"I am sorry," he said quietly. "For everything. Every cruel word. Every punishment. Every moment I made you feel worthless when you're the most valuable thing in my world."
Lila's eyes filled with fresh tears. "I know you are. And I understand why you did it. The spell. The ritual. The poison affecting your emotions. I understand."
"Understanding doesn't erase the damage."
"No. But it's a start." Lila moved closer, reaching out to touch Theo's hand where it rested on Adrian's shoulder. "We can't change what happened. But we can choose what happens next."
Theo grabbed her hand. "See? Now we're all together. This is better."
Adrian looked at their joined hands. His son connecting them physically like the bond connected them spiritually. His expression cracked, revealing the anguish underneath.
"I don't deserve this. Don't deserve either of you."
"Maybe not." Lila's smile was sad. "But Theo deserves to have people who love him together and not fighting. And I think your mother would have wanted you to find happiness again, even in the garden where she died."
Adrian's free hand came up to cover both theirs. "My mother would have loved you. She'd have seen immediately what you are to me. What you've always been."
"What am I to you?" Lila needed to hear him say it. Needed the confirmation.
"Everything." The word came out broken. "My mate. My heart. The piece of my soul I've been missing for four years."
Theo looked between them, his face brightening. "Does that mean Aunt Lila can live with us now?"
Adrian laughed, the sound hollow but genuine. "It's more complicated than that, little one. But yes. I hope so. Eventually."
"When's eventually?"
"When we figure out who's trying to hurt us. When we solve the mysteries. When we make it safe." Adrian's eyes stayed on Lila. "When I can be certain keeping her close won't get her killed."
"Then we better solve it quickly." Lila squeezed his hand. "Because I'm tired of being apart. Tired of the pain. Tired of living half a life."
"So am I." Adrian shifted Theo in his arms. "We should get him back to his rooms. His nursemaid is probably frantic."
They walked together through the garden, past the white roses that had witnessed so much pain and might yet witness healing. Guards followed at a respectful distance.
Theo chattered between them, oblivious to the weight of what had just passed. But his small hand stayed clasped in Lila's, and Adrian's hand occasionally brushed hers as they walked.
Not holding hands. Not yet. But close. Connected.
In his mother's garden, surrounded by white roses and old grief, Adrian had taken the first real step toward reclaiming what was stolen from him.
And Lila had remembered another piece of who they'd been before everything broke.
It wasn't enough. Not nearly enough to heal four years of damage.
But it was a beginning.
And sometimes, a beginning was all you needed.