Chapter 75 : My Weak Knees Fell To The Ground
HAYDEN’S POV
The door hadn’t even stopped vibrating from the force of Stephen slamming it before I was moving.
“Shit”
I was already out of the room, my heart racing so fast it felt like it might actually tear through my chest. The hallway blurred as I ran, my shoes hitting the floor too hard and loud, drawing attention but I didn’t care.
“Stephen!” I shouted.
There was no answer. Of course not.
I pushed forward anyway, turning the corner just in time to catch a glimpse of him disappearing down the stairwell.
Relief hit me so suddenly that it almost made my knees weak. He hadn’t left the building.
I followed.
The stairwell door banged open as I shoved through it, the cold, echoing space swallowing the sound of my footsteps as I climbed. Fast. Too fast. My lungs burned almost immediately, but I didn’t slow down.
“Stephen….wait!”
My voice bounced off the concrete walls, but the only response was the sharp rhythm of his footsteps above me.
He was still going up, not down.
That realization hit me mid-step, and something in my chest tightened even more.
The roof.
By the time I pushed through the final door, I was breathing hard, my chest heaving as cool night air slammed into me.
It was already dark.
The sky stretched wide and endless above us, deep blue bleeding into black, scattered with faint stars. The campus lights flickered below, distant and quiet compared to the chaos in my head.
Stephen stood near the edge, his back to me as he had turned to stone.
For a second, I just stood there, trying to catch my breath, trying to steady the storm inside me.
“Stephen…” My voice came out rough but he didn’t turn around.
“What do you want, Hayden?”
The question was flat and empty and somehow… that hurt more than him yelling.
I swallowed hard, taking a few slow steps toward him. “I…” The words caught in my throat again.
God, why was this so hard?
“Did you come up here just to say nothing?” he added, sharper this time.
“No,” I said quickly. “I just… I didn’t want you to leave like that.”
That made him laugh but it wasn’t the kind of laugh I was used to. It was hollow.
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it five minutes ago.”
“That’s not fair,” I shot back, even though my voice wavered slightly. “I came after you, didn’t I?”
Finally, he turned. His eyes locked onto mine, and the intensity in them made something in my chest twist painfully.
“Yeah,” he said. “You did.” There was something in his tone I couldn’t quite place. Then Silence settled between us again.
The wind brushed past, cool against my skin, but it did nothing to calm the heat building inside me.
“I didn’t mean what I said,” I admitted finally, my voice quieter now.
His jaw tightened. “Which part?”
“All of it,” I said. “The… avoiding you part. Acting like it didn’t matter. That’s not” I exhaled sharply. “That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?” he asked.
There it was again. That question. The one I had been running from.
I looked at him, really looked at him, and suddenly everything felt too real.
“I was scared,” I said. The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Stephen blinked, clearly not expecting that. “Scared?” he repeated.
I nodded, my hands clenching slightly at my sides. “Yeah.”
“Of what?” he pressed.
I hesitated because saying it out loud… made it real in a way I wasn’t sure I was ready for but I had chased him all the way up here. I couldn’t run now.
“Of this,” I said, gesturing weakly between us. “Of… whatever this is.”
His expression shifted, something softer flickering beneath the surface.
“And what is that?” he asked again, quieter this time.
My heart slammed against my ribs.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “That’s the problem. I don’t…. I’ve never… felt like this before.”
The air between us seemed to still. Stephen didn’t interrupt. He just watched me and somehow, that made it harder.
“I’ve spent my whole life knowing exactly how things are supposed to be,” I continued, my voice uneven. “What I’m supposed to like. Who I’m supposed to like. It’s just… normal, you know?”
He didn’t respond, but his gaze didn’t waver.
“And then this happens,” I said, my chest tightening again. “That night. The locker room. You….” I cut myself off, running a hand through my hair. “And suddenly nothing feels normal anymore.”
The words felt raw.
“I didn’t know what to do with that,” I admitted. “So yeah… I avoided it. I avoided you. Because if I didn’t think about it, then maybe it would just… go away.”
Stephen’s expression hardened slightly at that. “Did it?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No,” I said quietly. “It didn’t.”
The truth of that settled heavily between us. For a moment, neither of us spoke.
“People are already talking,” I added, my voice dropping. “After the video and everything, if this gets out too”
“You’re worried about what they’ll say,” he finished.
I hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I am.”
His jaw clenched, something like hurt flashing across his face. “And that’s enough to make you pretend this means nothing?”
“No,” I said quickly, stepping closer. “That’s not…. that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying, Hayden?” he asked, frustration creeping back into his voice.
“I’m saying I was wrong,” I said. That stopped him. “I was scared,” I repeated. “And yeah… maybe part of that is because of what people will say. Or… what it means about me.” My voice dropped even lower. “Or how I was raised to think about things like this.”
The words felt heavy and ugly but real.
“I didn’t handle it right,” I admitted. “I pushed you away instead of… dealing with it.”
Stephen stared at me, his expression unreadable. “And now?” he asked.
My breath caught because this… this was the moment. The one I couldn’t take back.
“I don’t want to push you away anymore,” I said.
My voice was barely above a whisper now, but it felt louder than anything I had ever said.
“I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen,” I continued. “Because it did. And it meant something.”
His eyes flickered at that. “Say it,” he said quietly.
My heart pounded. “Say what?”
“What it meant,” he replied.
I hesitated for just a second. Then, I closed the distance between us, and before I could think or stop myself.
I kissed him.
For a split second, he froze and then, he kissed me back and everything in my chest exploded.
I felt relief, fear, and want.
All of it tangled together as my hand came up, gripping the front of his jacket like I needed something to hold onto.
I needed this moment to be real.