Chapter 52 : The Air Felt Wrong
STEPHEN’S POV
I knew he would go after her. The second Lilian turned and ran, I felt it in my bones. Hayden didn’t even hesitate. He just took off, shouting her name like the world was ending.
I stood there under the field lights, hands still half-curled from where I’d grabbed his hoodie, and watched him disappear toward the parking lot.
The air felt wrong and I told myself I didn’t care.
They were dating. Of course he was going to chase her and he would pick her. What else was he supposed to do?
But as I watched him reach her, saw him grab her wrist…..gentle, careful, like she was something fragile I felt something ugly twist in my stomach.
It wasn’t jealousy.
I don’t get jealous. I especially don’t get jealous over Hayden.
He’s my brother. The one person who’s always been a pain in the fucking ass, and predictable.
So why did it feel like something was being ripped out of my chest?
They were talking now. I couldn’t hear them from this distance, but I didn’t need to. I could read his body language like a second language. The way his shoulders dropped when she didn’t immediately leave. The way he leaned closer, softer.
He looked desperate.
I clenched my jaw.
When she stepped into him and he wrapped his arms around her, something hot and irrational flared inside me. It climbed up my throat and sat there, choking.
Then he kissed her, like he meant it.
I looked away first.
I don’t know how long I stood there after that. Long enough for the field lights to start buzzing louder in my ears or for the anger to morph into something else.
Of course he chose her. Why wouldn’t he? What did I expect him to do…..stay? Turn around and pick me instead?
The thought made my stomach drop. Pick me how?
We were arguing. That’s all. He’s been acting differently lately, pulling away, and I called him on it. I grabbed his hoodie because he was walking away mid-sentence. That’s what happened.
That’s all that happened.
I dragged a hand over my face and started walking off the field. Each step felt heavier than it should’ve.
I told myself to calm down and breathe. This wasn’t a big deal. He has a girlfriend. They fought and he fixed it. End of story.
But the image of him kissing her kept replaying in my head.
And worse…..the way I’d felt watching it.
I was halfway across campus when I heard footsteps approaching from the side path.
“Yo, you look like you’re about to commit a felony.”
It was Marcus.
I didn’t slow down. “Shut up.”
He jogged a few steps to match my pace, studying my face. “Okay, damn. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
He snorted. “Right. And I’m president of the United States.”
I shot him a look. “I said it’s nothing.”
Marcus held up his hands in surrender, but he didn’t back off. He never does. “You and Hayden?”
That made me stop walking and he noticed.
“Ah,” he said quietly. “So it is that.”
“We had an argument.” The words came out clipped. “Lilian walked in at a bad moment and she took it the wrong way.”
“And?”
“And he ran after her,” I snapped, then immediately hated how that sounded.
Marcus’ eyebrow lifted. “He ran after his girlfriend? The horror.”
I clenched my fists. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
I didn’t have an answer that made sense because what was I supposed to say?
That watching him kiss her felt like being shoved aside? That it felt like I’d lost something I didn’t even know I was holding?
That I was angry at him for doing exactly what any normal boyfriend would do?
Marcus studied me for a long second. “You’re shaking,” he said quietly.
I looked down and he was right. My hands were trembling.
“I’m not mad about her,” I muttered.
“Okay.”
“I’m mad because he’s been acting weird for weeks and distant and now this…..”
“This what?”
“This whole thing just proves it.”
Marcus tilted his head. “Proves what?”
“That I’m not the priority anymore.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Silence stretched between us.
Marcus’ expression shifted. “Stephen,” he said carefully, “he’s allowed to have other priorities.”
“I know that.”
“Doesn’t sound like you do.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking again. “Forget it.”
But he didn’t. “You ever think,” Marcus said slowly, “that maybe you’re not mad at him?”
I stiffened. “What does that mean?”
“Just… think about it.”
We reached the dorm entrance. I yanked the door open harder than necessary and stepped inside. The warmth hit my face, but it didn’t do anything to cool the fire in my chest.
Marcus followed.
“You’re projecting,” he continued. “You’re pissed about something, yeah. But I don’t think it’s Hayden choosing his girlfriend.”
“Drop it.”
“Okay. Fine.” He paused. “Have you talked to Troy lately?”
That made me freeze. Marcus’ eyes sharpened. “Oh.”
“Don’t,” I warned.
“When’s the last time you saw him?”
I swallowed. “Last weekend.”
“And?”
I stared at the tiled floor.
Last weekend wasn’t supposed to mean anything.
Troy had been at my place like always. We’d been watching some stupid movie, arguing over which scenes were unrealistic. He leaned over me to grab the remote. I’d made a comment about him invading my space and he laughed but then he hadn’t moved away.
The air had shifted.
I don’t remember who closed the distance first. I just remember the shock of it. The way my brain went blank when his mouth pressed against mine.
It was messy and confused and charged with something we had both been pretending didn’t exist, ever since I ditched our on us having sex.
It lasted maybe ten seconds or maybe less. We pulled back at the same time. He had looked just as stunned as I felt.
“Dude,” he’d said, voice rough. “We’re not…..”
“I know,” I’d cut in quickly.
We never talked about it again and just pretended it didn’t happen.
Marcus was still watching me now, waiting. “It was nothing,” I said flatly.
“Didn’t ask what it was.”
“It didn’t mean anything.”
Marcus exhaled slowly. “You sound exactly like Hayden.”
The comparison hit harder than it should have. “I am not…..”
“You’re both standing in the middle of something and pretending it’s just an argument.”
My chest tightened. “That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?”
I didn’t know and that was the worst part.