Chapter 41 : Kiss I Didnt Expect
HAYDEN’S POV
I knew Stephen was back before I even opened the door.The music was louder than usual and it wasn't his normal background noise either, this was louder, like he wanted the entire building to know he was home.
Or like he wanted me to know.
I stood outside our dorm room for a second longer than necessary, hand hovering over the handle. We hadn’t talked since that night. Since the kiss and I had told him I might transfer.
I pushed the door open and froze.
Stephen was pressed against the wall near the couch in the living room, with Marcus’s hands tangled in his shirt, their mouths locked together like they were trying to erase the world.
My stomach dropped so hard it felt like I’d missed a step on a staircase.
Marcus’s hand slid into Stephen’s hair. Stephen made this low moan in the back of his throat, one I had never heard before and something inside me snapped.
“Marcus.”My voice came out sharper than I intended.
They broke apart, breathing heavily. Marcus looked annoyed and Stephen didn’t look surprised at all.
In fact, he looked straight at me like he had been waiting for me.
“We’re busy,” Marcus said casually, like I was interrupting a Netflix show.
“I need to talk to Stephen,” I cut in. “Alone.”
Stephen’s eyes didn’t leave mine.
Marcus glanced between us, picking up on something unspoken. “Can it wait?”
“No,” I said. My jaw tightened. “It can’t.”
A beat of silence stretched tight. Stephen finally stepped away from the wall. “It’s fine, Marcus.”
Marcus hesitated. “You sure?”
“I said it’s fine.”
Marcus grabbed his jacket, brushing past me with a pointed shoulder bump that I didn’t react to.The door shut behind him a second later.
Stephen crossed his arms. “What?”
I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly aware of how fast my heart was pounding. “You did that on purpose.”
A humorless laugh left him. “Did what? Kiss someone I’m seeing?”
“Like that.”
“Like what?” he shot back. “Like I enjoyed it?”
“That’s not what I…..” I exhaled sharply. “You knew I’d walk in.”
He tilted his head. “And?”
“And you wanted me to see it.”
Stephen’s eyes flashed. “Maybe I did.”
The words hit harder than I expected. “Why?” I demanded.
“Because I’m tired, Hayden.”
“Tired of what?” I snapped
“Of pretending that nothing happened.” and he snapped back at me, too. The air shifted.
There it was. The thing we’d been dancing around for days.
I swallowed. “Stephen…..”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t get to transfer schools, avoid me at practice, and then storm in here acting territorial.”
“I wasn’t…..”
“You sent him out, dickhead. That's acting like a possessive boyfriend.”
“No, I did that because we needed to talk!”
“About what?” he challenged. “The kiss? Or how you’re trying to erase it?”
My chest tightened. “I’m not erasing it.”
“Really?” His voice rose slightly. “Because you’ve done a pretty good job acting like it didn’t matter.”
“It did,” I snapped.
The confession hung between us and Stephen went still.
I forced myself to say it. “I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t like it.” His breath caught, barely, but I saw it. “But….” I added it quickly.
Stephen’s expression hardened. “There’s always a but with you.”
“I can’t be seen as a fucking gay guy, Stephen.”
The words felt foreign and ugly the second they left my mouth.
“What does that even mean? This is 2026 and you are still being a closed freak?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t even know what that means. I’ve never…… I’ve never thought about it like that.”
“Like what? Like you might not be straight?”
“I have a girlfriend, dummy.” I reminded him.
“Lilian,” he said flatly.
“Yes, Lilian.”
“And?” he crossed his arms.
“And that’s not nothing.”
Stephen stared at me like he was trying to figure out if I was serious. “So what?” he asked. “You kiss me, you like it, but because there’s a label attached you are panicking?”
“It’s not just a label!” I snapped. “You know how this works with the team, school.”
“Oh, so now it’s PR? You don't want to be seeing as less manly because you are being fucked in the ass?”
“That’s not what I…..”
“You’re worried about your image,” he finished for me. “About being the golden striker with the perfect life.”
I flinched. He wasn’t entirely wrong.
“I just…..” I struggled for words. “I don’t know what I am, okay? I don’t know if that kiss meant something bigger or if it was just… confusion.”
“Confusion?” His voice cracked slightly.
“I’m trying to be honest.”
“Honest?” he repeated. “You think this is honesty?”
“Yes!”
“You’re saying you liked kissing me,” he said slowly, “but you hope we can ‘keep it in the past.’”
I hesitated because that was exactly what I wanted. “I don’t want this to ruin everything,” I said instead. “Our new found truce and the fucking team.”
“So your solution is to pretend it didn’t happen?”
“I think it’s better if we move on.”
Stephen laughed again, but it sounded hollow. “Move on.”
“Yeah.”
“With Marcus?” he asked pointedly.
I clenched my jaw. “If that’s what you want.”
He studied my face carefully. “Are you jealous?”
The question landed like a punch. “No.”
He stepped closer. “You looked jealous.”
“I wasn’t and I am not.”
“You dragged him out of here like the sight of him burns your skin.”Stephen smirked like he liked playing this game.
“Because I needed to talk!”
“Or because you couldn’t stand seeing me with someone else?”
I didn’t answer. That was enough to answer. Stephen’s eyes softened for half a second, then hardened again.
“You don’t get to want me in secret and reject me in public,” he said.
“I’m not rejecting you, Stephen.”
“You literally just said you can’t be seen as gay.”
“And I also said I don’t know what the fuck I am!”
“Then figure it out,” he shot back. “But don’t use me as your experiment.”
That stung. “I’m not doing that.”
“It feels like you are.” Silence fell again.
I hated how right he sounded and I didn’t have a clean explanation. I hated that part of me had imagined kissing him again.
“I care about you,” I said finally.
His jaw tightened. “Not enough.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” he said. “What’s not fair is you getting to keep your girlfriend, your reputation, your future and still expecting me to wait around while you ‘process’ your fucked up feelings.”
I opened my mouth to argue but nothing came out because he wasn’t wrong.
“I just think,” I said quietly, “it’s better if we leave it in the past.”
The words felt final. Stephen’s expression changed.
“I’ve heard you,” he said. He grabbed his hoodie off the chair and headed for the door.
“Stephen…..” I called out but he didn't stop. The door shut behind him with a sharp click and just like that, the room felt emptier than it ever had.
I stood there staring at the wall he’d been pinned against minutes ago.