Chapter 220: You Guys Are The Best For Me
Chapter 220: You Guys Are The Best For Me
Angelia
What? My phone had been hacked? I hadn't seen this coming, though maybe I should have figured out that someone has hacked my phone given how he had somehow always known where I was. But it hadn't crossed my mind, I was angry at myself for not having thought about it sooner. Maybe then, things wouldn't have gone this far. For some reason, this more than most of what he had done made me feel truly violated. Not only had he entered my life and turned it upside down, but he had infiltrated it and made it mental warzone.
Who could have done that? I blinked in shock as Kingston's words finally caught up with me.
'And you need to write down a list of everyone who might have had access to your phone and I mean everyone, even that best friend of yours.’
Why on earth made Kingston suggest Andy?
“No,” I shook my head.
“Andy never would have done anything like this to me, I trust him.”
If there was someone I could finally trust in this world, it was him. Since we had become friends, he had been the person who stood by me when the going got tough. He helped me with my social anxiety and made me laugh when I wanted to cry. He made me look forward to work even though school had taken most of my energy. He was my person and that Kingston even hinted at him maybe being the one who had tormented me made my stomach roll with nausea. He narrowed his eyes.
“Do you truly trust him without a shadow of doubt?”
“Yes,” I replied without any hesitation.
“He is the kindest person I have ever met, there is not a single mean bone in his body. Besides, what possible reason could he have to do something like this?”
“Well,” Riccardo cut in, his tone contemplating.
“You would say he is the closest friend you have, right?”
“Yes?” My voice tinged with confusion, unsure where he was going with this.
“Can’t it stand to reason that he was jealous when he no lojue had your undivided attention?” He added.
“I mean, everyone could be jealous of losing the attention from someone they cared about, but Andy would have never acted on it. If he even felt jealous, which I am pretty sure he didn't, he even urged me to give you guys a second chance. Anyways, he got his own boyfr, so he wouldn't worry about mine, he wouldn't worry about our past arrangements.”
I didn't want to look at them, sure they had caught my little slip. Was my blush spreading? It felt like it was spreading and my chest was kind of burning a little. My neck was hot, I hadn't meant to apply that they were my boyfriends. I hadn't really thought of them as that, no, not my boyfriend. We were just.. shit, what even were we? Former dominants and submissive? I mean, we were but it wasn't all we were either. Friends? No, that seemed wrong somehow, it felt like we were more than that. There was too much tension between us to dwindle down our relationship to just friends. But what was more than friends, but less than boyfriends and girlfriends? It is complicated, we were complicated.
At last, I glanced back up at them, only to find them all looking at me, wearing a level of heat in their eyes that sent delightful shivers down my body. Safe to say they had caught it, and honestly it didn't look like they minded me. All my almost calling them my boyfriend, not at all.
'Fuck Angelia, don't even go there. You have just moved in with them, no need to make it more complicated. Just, I don't know, focus on getting everything else back in order before you try dating more than one man.’
“So?” I said, awkwardly breaking up the tension building between us.
“Andy has got his attention elsewhere, and he would never fault me for dividing my attention either. He only ever wanted the best for me and as it turned out, the best was you guys.”
And tension was back. Seriously Angelia?
“Was?” Marshall muttered, and I had a feeling he was voixin what the other two were thinking, given how Riccardo's and Kingston's stare intensified at his question.
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable talking about my feelings with all their attention directed at me.
“Is,” I corrected, my voice small and insecure. There was just something about admitting your deepest feelings to others that left you feeling bare and fragile.
“You guys are what is best for me.” I added.
Because weren't they? If we put aside the incident of them withholding information from me, they had single handedly managed to make me more comfortable in my own body, made me try new things, made me less anxious and more relaxed. They had gotye me out of my monotone routine of a life and made me experience what it was like to live. Happy, they had made me happy. Feeling life exciting was rare for an overthinker and true happiness was even more so.
Marshall gave me the brightest smile and it made me realize that I hadn't seen his dimples in far too long. This was the kind of smile you would fall into and become addicted to, a smile that when you saw it after being without it for so long, you felt like your heart bled just a little because you had missed it more than you could have guessed. While Riccardo didn't smile like Marshall, there was an openness to his expression that showed just how much he had hid himself from me while, well, I guess while he didn't know where we stood. The blankness and muted feeling were gone, now I saw both relief and happiness in his eyes. He almost had me want to promise him the moon so his eyes could keep shining.
And for once, Kingston's hands weren't in a fist and his jaw wasn't clenched. The ever so present anger was gone and his face was all smoothed out, no tightness to be seen. His dark eyes emitted the first light u had ever seen from him and at this moment, his eyes didn't appear all that dark, more amber than black and they reminded me of fall and I dearly love fall. Their reactions made me understand that these last weeks hadn't only been hard for me but for them too. I guess I hadn't noticed that us braakon off whatever we had hadn't only impacted me. Truthfully, no matter how much they had tried to be open about their feelings towards me and how they wanted me back, I had been too insecure to believe they actually did want me. Not just as submissive, but as something more. But this, their expressions and reactions to know that my feelings weren't one-sided. It hadn't been just words they had told me, they really do care about me.
Somehow, that realization hit me right in the chest, giving my heart a beat that was both old and new. Both lighter and livelier than before but faster too. This was getting too real, too quickly and from what I had learned about myself since he entered my life, whenever I was afraid, I ran instead of staying and fighting. And right now, I was afraid of having my feelings reciprocate, it was strange. Really stupid that was something I was afraid of but yet there it was. I had never been in a real relationship with someone and I had definitely not been in love and suddenly, possibly having to face those two things was frightening.
I had found myself falling for three men, but instead of them knowing my fall and becoming my heave. I had crashed and burned. Falling was scary, but the idea of love was absolutely terrifying. The heartbreak I had gone through when I felt deceived and hurt by them would have been much more heartbreaking if I had loved them. Love had no parachute and no safety net, it wasn't logical or sane. It could wreak havoc or bring you to paradise and the thing was, you had never find out which one of the two ways it would go until you were right in the middle of it. Love was a chance game, a game, a roll of the dice, I just needed to figure out if I was ready to play and risk my heart. I coughed, like by clearing my throat. I was also clearing the heaviness in the room. Riccardo clearly having noticed that I was uncomfortable came in with a save.
“We believe Andy is a good guy too, but what we were saying is that you need to think of everyone who could have had access to your phone at some point without you being present. It is better to be safe than sorry, sometimes people you should trust the most do the hurting.”
Was it just me or did he glance briefly at Kingston when he said that?