***POV NOAH***
I run my hands down your bare back, feeling your body shiver where my hands touch it. And I love the way her body reacts to me.
I run my hands up to the nape of her neck and pull her big hair away from her neck, leaving a kiss there, making her mumble something that I obviously couldn't understand.
Isabela was lying face down on the bed after having sex all night.
I told her I wanted to talk about a few things, and she said she also had something to tell me, but when she arrived here in a red dress that highlighted all her curves, I didn't think about anything else and just wanted to bury myself inside her. And that's what I did; we sent the conversation to hell and had sex all night. But now, after spending another sleepless night, I had everything on the tip of my tongue to start talking. And maybe, just maybe, if I took any longer to speak, I'd lose my nerve.
“Are you awake, my angel?” I asked in a low, husky voice.
I didn't hear an answer for several minutes and thought she was asleep. But I was surprised when Isabela turned around on the bed, facing me.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look after a good night's sex?” I asked, stroking her face and brushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen over it. “Her face turned a faint shade of red, making me even more...” I stopped talking when I realized the word I was going to use to complete that sentence. Fuck!
I bit my tongue and stared at her face. She looked at me curiously so that I would finish speaking, but I wasn't going to, not now, not without the certainty that she felt the same way.
“I told you I needed to talk to you.” I change the subject and sit down on the bed.
A few more long minutes of silence.
I feel Isabela stir in the bed, and soon she sits up, wrapping the surrounding sheet to hide her nudity.
"What is it?" she asks, looking at me attentively. "Did something happen?"
"I remember in one of our countless conversations, you told me that if I ever felt like telling you something, I should do it right away and not hide anything from you, to be an open book. Do you remember?" I asked, now looking into her eyes.
Isabela looked back at me in the same way, and I could see many doubts in her eyes. She got up and sat in front of me so that we were face-to-face.
My heart was racing; it felt like I was going to have a heart attack at any moment. I could feel it pounding inside me.
"Sincerity is something I value greatly. I like the truth, whether it's hard or not," she replied firmly.
"I want to ask you something..." I sighed. "What do you feel about us? What role do I play in your life? Am I just a guy you see from time to time, or someone you care about and want in your life?" I asked, and, terrified of the answer, I confessed.
"First of all, you're not just a guy I see from time to time, because if I remember correctly, we've been seeing each other daily for a month now," she pointed out, making me laugh. It was true, and I was getting more addicted to her every day. "Second, you're someone I care a lot about, and I don't want you out of my life. You make me feel good. I might have a crappy day, but the nights are always perfect because I spend them with you."
"I feel the same way," and I thought it was important to point that out. "Isa, to be completely honest with you, for the first time in my life, I feel like I've made the right choice. I feel like I'm on the right path because I'm trying to do everything right for you. My only concern is whether I deserve you and whether God will bless my feelings. But somehow, I know it's you. I can't imagine anyone else; I can't imagine hugging or kissing anyone else, and I definitely can't imagine anyone else making me happy or making me smile as genuinely as you do." I confessed, looking into her eyes.
I held her hand, intertwining our fingers, before continuing with everything I had planned to say all week.
"I've been thinking about this for days, and honestly, sometimes I think I've reached my limit, that it's impossible to love more than this. But then, the next day, you make me fall even more in love with you. You are everything I've never had, and I want to do things for you that I've never done before—things I promised myself I wouldn't do for anyone. You came into my life and erased everyone who had ever been in it—passions, desires, hurts—you took it all away. It's like, after I met you, I restarted my life. You manage to be my only weakness. I'm happy just hearing your voice; in fact, I must admit that just hearing your name brings a whirlwind of sensations, like the famous butterflies in the stomach, which I initially thought meant I was getting sick." We laughed. "I have no doubts about my feelings for you."
I confessed, feeling lighter.
I'd been holding on to it for days, and this feeling was consuming me. I needed to get it out in the open. And to make matters worse, I have no one to talk to about it because no one close to me knows about our encounters.
I was apprehensive, and one of the reasons I always avoided talking was the fear of rejection - the fear that she wouldn't feel the same way. It was a risk - a risk I decided to take.
I'm an intense person, extremely intense. But I'd never allowed myself to get to know someone the way I'm doing with Isabela.
There's no point in denying it or trying to hide my feelings. With each passing day, they grow stronger; with each passing day, I fall more in love and, if she doesn't feel the same way, it's better to know now than suffer even more in the future.