Chapter 118 Hard and desperate
The rain starts coming down hard, tapping against the glass. Outside, everything is black except for the lightning ripping through the clouds and thunder rolling across the sky.
I stand by the glass door, staring out into nothing. No one with any sense would go swimming in weather like this. Unless they want to die. So yeah, Liam is insane.
So why do I even care what happens to someone that crazy?
Everyone else is playing poker now, trying to kill time. I hear them laughing, having fun, and it just makes me more restless. When James wins another round and starts yelling about it, I finally snap.
I walk over to him. "Are you not worried about him?"
James looks up, distracted, still shuffling cards. "Who?"
"Liam!" My voice comes out sharp. "He went swimming in a fucking storm! Are you not worried something could happen to him? I thought you two were close."
My tone is too harsh. Everyone stops what they are doing and stares at me, surprised by how worked up I am. After a second, Edie speaks up. "Soph, the guy knows what he is doing. Plus, he was a total dick to you earlier. Just let him deal with himself."
"Yeah, Sophie. Do not worry about him." Katherine nods along. "He would not actually swim in this. He probably went back to his own place."
I take a deep breath and say nothing. Their words do not help. They only make me feel more on edge.
James finishes shuffling and starts dealing cards. He glances at me with a little smirk. "Look, if you are that worried, call him. Or sit down and play with us. Take your mind off it."
I do not even know if I am more worried about Liam or more pissed that James is so casual about his friend possibly drowning.
"Forget it." I mutter. "I am going to bed."
I walk through the living room and up the stairs. Once I am in my room, I shut the door fast and pull out my phone.
My finger hovers over the call button. Should I actually call him?
If he is already back at his place, safe in bed like Katherine said, then calling will just make me look desperate. I can already hear the sarcasm in his voice when he answers.
But...
I look at the storm raging outside one more time and press call. He can make fun of me all he wants. I can not live with myself if something happens and I did not try.
The line rings. And rings. And rings. He does not pick up. With every ring, my stomach drops lower. Is he ignoring me because he is still mad? I hang up and start texting.
\[Where are you?\]
\[You are not actually swimming, right?\]
\[Please just tell me you are okay!!\]
I throw my phone on the bed and press my hands to my face. This is pathetic. Begging him to answer after he humiliated me in front of everyone.
I am so screwed.
Thunder booms so loud it shakes the walls. After ten minutes that feel like hours, I grab my phone again.
Nothing. No call. No text. Nothing.
And then my brain goes crazy. I start seeing it in my head. Him fighting against the waves, getting tired, water filling his lungs. Drowning.
That is it.
I jump up, yank the door open, and run down the stairs so fast I almost fall.
Everyone is still playing poker. They all look up, shocked at the way I burst in.
I do not stop. I head straight for the front door.
"Sophie!" Katherine yells behind me. "Where are you going!"
"To find him!" I scream back and shove the door open.
The rain hits me like a wall. It is worse than I thought. The wind is insane, whipping rain into my face so hard it stings. I am soaked in seconds. But I wipe the water from my eyes and run into it anyway.
The beach is empty. Not a single person. I stumble across the wet sand, screaming his name as loud as I can. "Liam! Where are you! Liam!"
The storm swallows my voice. Thunder drowns me out.
I try to see through the rain, looking toward the water. But all I see is wild waves crashing. No sign of him.
I keep moving, wandering in the dark, desperate. Water pours down my face. I can not tell if it is rain or tears anymore. I have never felt so helpless in my life. If something happens to him...
I regret everything. Every thing I did. Every word I said.
I should have told him how I felt after that night. He might have laughed at me. He might have looked at me different. But at least he would have known. At least I would have said it. And now I might never get the chance.
My body shakes from the cold. I am completely lost, wandering nowhere. I am about to lose my mind when I hear something. A voice, faint, calling my name in the distance.
I whip my head around, scared I imagined it.
But no. I can barely see through the rain, but there is someone running toward me through the dark, yelling my name.
It is him.
I start running. My feet slip on the wet, loose sand but I do not stop. My heart pounds so hard it hurts. When I get close, I lose my balance, but he catches me and pulls me into his arms.
We hold each other like we found something we lost forever. His hand presses my head against his chest. I feel his heart beating. It is going as fast as mine.
"W-why!" My voice shakes so bad I can barely get words out. "Why did you not call me back! I was so fucking worried, you bastard!"
I am crying and yelling at the same time. I try to push away from him, but he will not let go. His arms are so tight it almost hurts.
"I am sorry, Soph. I am sorry. I walked back to the house and I did not check my phone. I did not know you would come out here looking for me."
"What did you think I would do?" I scream in his face. "Just let you fucking die?"
I am so angry I start hitting his chest with my fists. He takes it, then pulls me back into his arms.
His voice is muffled by the rain, but I hear him clearly. "Sophie. Why did you come out here to find me?"
"I told you. I was scared something—"
"No." He pulls back just enough to look at me. His green eyes are so bright, even in this darkness. "I mean, why were you that scared? The only person who would come out in a storm like this for me is my mom. And that is because she is my mom. So why did you... why were you..."
He stops. Swallows hard. Like the next words are stuck. Then, after a second, he forces them out. "Sophie. Do you love me?"
I can not speak. My mind is completely empty.
His hands grip my arms tighter. "Okay, love is too strong. Do you like me? Do you have feelings for me? Not as a brother. You know what I mean."
I can not stop shaking. I do not know if it is the rain or his question.
I think about how I felt before. How worried I was. How much I regretted not telling him when I had the chance. And now. Here it is. My chance.
"You said it yourself." My voice comes out slow, one word at a time. "That I do not see you as my brother."
"You are right about that."
His whole face lights up. He smiles so wide. His hand comes up to cup my face, and his voice is rough when he speaks. "I am taking that as a yes."
Then he leans in and kisses me. Hard and desperate in the rain.