Chapter 115 It is just me being paranoid.
I wake up in his arms the next morning. The second my eyes open, everything from last night comes flooding back.
So that is it. I actually did it. I slept with Liam. My stepbrother. I turn over carefully to look at him. He is still out cold. During the day he is such an asshole, but right now he looks almost sweet. Peaceful. The summer sun is pushing through the curtains, hitting his face, making everything look warm and golden.
I study his face. His jaw. The way he is just... built. Honestly, I could stay here forever. Lying in his arms, watching him sleep.
Wait.
I pull back a little, startled by my own thoughts. The movement wakes him slightly. He mumbles something I can not understand and rolls over, letting go of me.
I fight the urge to crawl back into him and slip out of bed quietly.
I grab my phone and text my mom fast. Told her I got stuck doing urgent homework and could not make it home last night. Then I head to the kitchen to make coffee.
While waiting for it to brew, my brain starts wandering.
Before last night, I actually thought sleeping with him would fix everything. Like, I would get him out of my system and move on. Just sexual attraction. Nothing more. That was the plan.
But last night did not kill anything. If anything, it made things worse.
My own thoughts start whispering at me.
...I love this... I love him...
I jerk upright, panicking. No. Absolutely not. That can not be true. We barely even know each other. Plus he is controlling and aggressive and complicated and way too much. Why would I fall for someone like that?
It is just the sex talking. My hormones being loud.
I breathe deep and press my hands against my burning face. Right. That is all it is. I just need space after last night. Keep my distance.
"What are you thinking about?"
I jump and spin around. He is walking out of the bedroom, yawning, coming toward me. His hair is a mess in that unfairly sexy way. No one should look this good first thing in the morning. Except him.
"What are you doing, babe?" His voice is rough, still sleepy. His arms slide around my waist from behind and pull me against him. He rests his chin on my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck. The closeness makes my heart pound.
"Um... nothing." I pull away fast. "Coffee?"
"Yeah, I will have some." He leans against the counter, watching me. There is this small smile on his face.
I avoid looking at him and pour coffee fast. When I hold the mug out, he does not take it. He grabs my wrist and yanks me into his chest instead.
"Why will you not look at me?" He asks, mouth against my neck, biting softly.
It tickles. I laugh and try to squirm away, but he holds tighter, pulling me closer, then tilts my face up and kisses me.
I almost drown in it.
Everything feels perfect. The lazy summer morning. Fresh coffee smell. Sunshine filling the room. The perfect guy.
Except he is not actually my guy.
His hand finds my waist, skin on skin. His breathing gets heavier. I feel him hard against me.
And suddenly my brain clears. Like waking up from a dream that was too good to be real. I shove him away hard and put distance between us.
He stumbles back, caught off guard. His mouth is open, eyebrows pulled together, completely confused.
"Sophie?" He asks. "What is wrong?"
I can not look at him. If I do, I will lose my nerve. I keep my eyes away and grab my bag from the living room.
"I should go." I say.
That sets him off. He crosses the room in seconds and spins me around by my shoulder. The soft smile is gone. There is anger in his green eyes now.
"What the fuck is your problem, Sophie?" He bites out.
I shrink under his glare. I know I am being awful right now. But this is the only way I stay sane.
"I just need to go home. My mom will worry."
"I will call her." His voice is sharp.
"No." I say fast. "Do not do that. I am leaving."
He narrows his eyes, studying my face. Right when I think he is going to lose it completely, his hands drop. He steps back. A cold, ugly smirk takes over his face.
"Fine. Get lost." He shrugs. "I should have kicked you out right after I finished with you anyway. That is what this is, right? Just sex. Nothing else."
His words sting. I breathe in deep and look away, trying to stop the tears burning behind my eyes.
"Yeah. That is right." I say.
He snorts and walks away, grabbing his phone. His voice turns impatient. "Then why are you still standing there? Rossi is coming over. You probably do not want to run into her."
He is probably just saying that to piss me off. It works. By the time I get out of his apartment, tears are running down my face.
I ruined it. Everything was so good. So perfect. And now it is gone.
But if I let myself fall into him, I will destroy myself in the end.
After that night, I hear nothing from Liam. No calls. No texts. I see him on campus sometimes, but he just walks past me like I am not there.
Rossi is back. Stuck to him everywhere he goes. Whenever we make eye contact, she gives me this smug look like she won some competition.
I know Liam is just using her the same way he used me. She probably knows it too. She just does not care. That is how she gets to stay.
I wish I could be that careless. But I can not let myself sink that low.
Things at school are better though. Liam had me sit with him once at the cafe, and that got people off my back. No one messes with me anymore. They just ignore me. That is all I ever wanted.
Senior year is boring. Peaceful.
I hang out with Katherine, Alex, and Edie a lot. We are basically a group now. I caught up with my classes. I have friends. Life is finally normal.
Sometimes I think about that night with Liam. But we do not cross paths anymore. I can not let myself go there again. And his pride probably will not let him reach out.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Time flies. When midterms finally end, Katherine suggests a short trip.
"Beach house?" I frown. We are in the cafe, waiting in line for food. Alex and Edie are behind us.
She is excited about it. "Yes. My uncle's place. It is not far. Like an hour drive. We can leave Friday after school and come back Sunday night. Does that not sound nice? I am so drained from exams. We need a break."
I stay quiet. Honestly, I am not into it. I was planning to job hunt this weekend. Now that school is under control, I need to start saving for college again. I can not keep depending on the Ramirez money.
We find a table and sit. Alex knows about my job plans, so he says nothing. Edie jumps right in though.
"Sounds great. I am in."
Katherine turns to me and Alex. "What about you two?"
I chew my sandwich slowly. My hesitation is obvious.
Her face drops and she grabs my hand, begging. "Come on. We worked so hard. Let us go. You can not make me and Edie go alone."
Something flickers across Edie's face. Regret maybe. He hides it fast. He probably likes Katherine. But she is way out of his league, so he keeps it to himself.
"Yeah, come with us." Edie agrees. "It would be our first trip together."
I sigh. "Alex already set up an interview for me. Saturday."
"I can call them. Reschedule." Alex shrugs. "It is a local coffee shop job. Not running for president."
They all look at me with these eager faces. I give in.
"Fine."
Katherine cheers, clapping. "Yes! Friday night, beach house!"
I smile despite myself. Her energy is contagious.
Then someone appears behind Alex and jumps into the conversation.
"What beach house?"
I look up. James.
My stomach drops.
James is friends with both Alex and Liam. Sometimes he eats with us. And whenever we talk, Liam's name comes up eventually. Every time it does, my heart does that stupid thing.
"You all going to the beach house?" He asks.
"Yeah." Katherine says brightly. "Want to come?"
I want to stop her, but it is already out. She is just being nice. But I really do not want to hear about Liam the whole trip.
James shakes his head, looking regretful. "Oh, I can not. Already have plans. You guys have fun though."
He grabs his tray and leaves fast.
Katherine pouts watching him go. "Why did he rush off like that?"
"Kat." I lower my voice. "Why did you tell him about the trip?"
"He already heard us. And it is not a secret. What is the problem?" She looks confused.
I bite my lip and say nothing, trying to shake this stupid uneasy feeling.
James knowing does not mean he will tell Liam.
It is just me being paranoid.