CHAPTER 32: EVERYTHING HURTS
Claudia's pov.
They say that it's a broken heart. But if it's a broken heart, why do you hurt in your whole
body? Why does your throat close up? Why does it feel like your body is on fire? Why does
everything hurt?
My mother told reporters that my dad was 'cheating' on her and she knew it would provoke
dad. When he beat me, she didn't care. It's like no one loves me. And I can't seem to care
that I'm crying in front of Isaac.
It's come to this.
"I hurt you, you ran. I regret it, I've realised something while you were gone. I realised it while
you were in pain because of me. Claudia, I shouldn't have said that a couple of days ago. It
was wrong of me and I'm sorry, I just..... I love you, okay? And I wanted to protect you but I
was only hurting you." My body stills in shock and for a moment I feel something other than
pain.
Confusion. Anger. Happiness.
"How can you say that when you brought me pain from the moment I met you? Well your
secrets out Isaac, are you going to kill me and my 'family' are you?!" I shout. "Because I
won't be complaining when you hold a gun to my temple, I will be rejoicing," I spit.
"Don't say that," he growls. "I just admitted that I love you and this is what you say!?" He
exclaims.
"You can't expect me to say it back after everything that you've done, you just can't okay?"
Maybe I want to hurt him like he hurt me. Maybe I want to jump in his arms and kiss him until
I pass out. But he needs to feel the pain that I felt, he needs to feel the pain that I'm feeling.
"And I get that. It just..." he trails off not knowing what to say. I raise an eyebrow, I will finish
that sentence for him. I stand and walk closer towards him.
"It just hurts, right? It hurts so much," I spit. He growls grabbing my wrist and pulls me
forward towards him. I glare at him, "it h-hurts." Maybe I'm talking about my own mental pain,
and maybe I just want someone to know how I'm feeling. "You weren't there for me when I
needed you, Isaac. I called you after my dad said that he doesn't love me, which was a big
step for me. But you said that you had to go because you were in a 'meeting', I new darn
well that you weren't in a meeting. You just couldn't stand comforting me and hearing my sad
sob story because nothing is ever easy for me, you know? And I have been so strong and
independent but sometimes I want someone to tell me that I don't have to be strong. I want
them to tell that I can stop being strong for one moment and I can cry without feeling weak
and ashamed."
"Stop it," he whispers. His eyes close tightly and his grip on me tightens, he opens his ice
blue eyes again and glares into my muddy orbs. "Just stop it Claudia! You can cry without
being ashamed and classed as weak. You are independent. You are so strong. I'm such an
idiot. I'm heartless. And I'm a bad person for forcing you into this. I will sign the divorce
papers and this can be all over, you won't ever have to see me again."
I can tell how painful this is for him. How much he doesn't want to let me go. And something
that I hate to admit is that I love him. I have for a long time. At first it was hate then it
developed into something mort stronger, love.
"You know what, I'm going to tell you the truth here," I begin and take a deep breath. "I love
you but you hurt me. You hurt me so much that I'm afraid you'll keep hurting me," I clutch my
heart, somehow trying to erase the never ending pain there is.
"You love me?" He whispers.
"Yes," I growl. "And I hate it," I push out of his grip and sit down; he crouches in front of me
with a pleading expression.
"Please just give me another chance. I'll prove myself to you, we can get a divorce. I can
take you on dates, I'll support you through everything, I'll be there for you. Just give me one
more chance, Claude," he pleads with me, I think for a moment.
"Fine, but I need space at first. Okay?" He grins and hugs me tightly. I uncomfortably pat his
back, he reluctantly pulls away and grins.
"I'll give you all of the space that you need, I promise."
||
"Oh my god, he said that?" Aaliyah repeats herself for the second time on the phone. I roll
my eyes and huff in annoyance.
"Yes Aaliyah, he said that he loves her!" Joey snaps on the other line, we are all getting
frustrated with her repeating everything. She chuckles at our obvious annoyance, "what was
your response?" I grimace in remembrance and she tell them what I had said with minimal
detail.
"Oh my god. You actually said that!" Carter exclaims, I chuckle nervously and make a noise
that means 'yes'.
"Anyway, enough about me. What's going on with all of you guys?" I ask putting them on
loud speaker and rolling on my back, so I'm looking up at the ceiling.
"I need to tell you guys something. You're my best friends and you should be the first to
know......" she pauses.
"Well tell us!" We shout in anticipation.
"Sheesh.... okay, Matthew.... officially asked me to be his girlfriend!" She screams, I scream
to which ends up in Joey and Carter scream. The door bangs open and a frantic Zac stands
there, he looks around and when he spots me he sighs.
"What happened?" He runs a hand through his black hair.
"Oh nothing," I sheepishly wave him off. He shrugs and walks out of the room, we all had
quietened down as soon as he walked in. "How did he ask you?" I ask.
"Well he was holding my favourite flowers- roses. And lint chocolates, then he asked me," I
can practically see her shrugging with a massive grin on her face.
"Awe."
And that's how my day ended, gossiping and comforting my best friends. Laughing and
making jokes. Everything will be okay soon.