Chapter 75 Seventy Five
DANIKA
"Get some rest, okay?" Kaziel tells me, and I nod, watching him straighten and head back out of the bedroom to go to Aaron. I can't shake off the sinking feeling in my chest when I recall the way he'd suddenly doubled over in pain earlier.
We'd both gotten emotional until I didn't bother asking him what that was about. So, I stay awake to wait for him. At least, I try to. But my eyelids keep drooping. Maybe it's the pregnancy humbling me. Or maybe it's the core.
The moment I really start to give in to the lethargy, I hear a knock on the door. I flinch awake, my eyes wide. Kaziel wouldn't knock. So, who is it?
"It's me, Luna," a familiar voice speaks. I rub my eyes, confused. Aaron?
Slowly, I ease out of bed and head to the door to open it. Aaron flashes me a nervous smile.
"Were you asleep? I apologize for waking you up," he says, and I give him a small smile.
"What's up? Where's Kaziel? I thought he was with you."
He rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Actually, I distracted him with something else so that I could talk to you privately. The thing is...tomorrow's Kaziel's mum's memorial and—"
My eyes go wide.
"I just want you to keep your eyes on him and don't let him sink into despair. He usually gets really down. He goes to her grave alone, and most times, he'll stay there for days, and when he does return, he always looks wrecked," Aaron tells me.
I swallow hard, my fingers curling around the doorframe.
"Days?" My chest tightens painfully.
Aaron nods, guilt swimming in his eyes. "He hides it well... but it's always hell for him. And with the core inside you... and the baby..." He hesitates, like he's unsure if he should say more. "You're the only one who can keep him grounded now."
"I'll take care of him," I whisper, and I mean it with every inch of my soul.
Aaron finally relaxes. "Thank you, Luna."
When he leaves, I close the door quietly and lean back against it.
His mother's memorial. That explains why he was so emotional today. And why his eyes looked so haunted.
I push away from the door and move back to the bed. This time I actively decide to wait for him. My phone pings with a text from Cora.
CORA: Hey bestieeee. I miss you.
Smiling, I quickly type back a reply.
ME: Are you sure? I mean, you have Bellamy now. You probably don't need me anymore.
Her reply comes instantly.
CORA: What?! No! Can I come over to see you tomorrow? I'll bring all your favourite snacks.
A giggle slips from my lips, and just then, the door opens. Kaziel walks in. He looks like he's lost in his head. If he noticed that I'm awake, I can't tell because he simply undresses and heads into the bathroom. I gulp, tightening my grip on my phone. My phone vibrates again.
CORA: Hmmm? Yes?
ME: Maybe the day after? Kaziel needs me. His mother's memorial is tomorrow.
CORA: Oh...that's okay. Guess I'll see you the day after tomorrow?
I stare at the bathroom door, listening to the sound of the water running. Kaziel has to be okay. He has to be.
The bathroom door eventually slides open.
Kaziel steps out with a towel around his waist and a smaller one in his hand, his wet hair dripping down his shoulders. He pauses when he sees me awake, his wary, exhausted eyes softening.
"You're still up?" he murmurs.
"I was waiting for you," I say, trying to keep my voice light. His lips quirk upwards again. Then he goes ahead to towel dry his hair. I watch him as he finally slips on a pair of grey sweatpants, his movements sluggish.
I sit up fully and pat my lap.
For a second, he looks like he might refuse. But then, his broad shoulders fall, a tiny, weak smile tugging at his lips.
He comes to me quietly, like a wounded wolf returning home. He settles beside me, then gently lowers his head onto my lap. The moment his cheek touches me, he exhales shakily, as if my touch alone lets him breathe.
I run my fingers through his hair, watching the way his lashes flutter from the touch.
"You're tired," I murmur.
"Mhm." His voice is barely audible. "Just... needed you."
My heart squeezes painfully. I stroke his hair again, slower this time. He presses closer, curling an arm around my waist.
"Are you okay?" I ask softly.
"Not really," he whispers. "But I am... here. With you. That helps."
I keep threading my fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp the way he loves it.
"Kaziel?" I say softly.
"Mm?"
"I'm not letting you go anywhere tomorrow alone."
His blue eyes open, widening.
"Dove..." His voice cracks.
"I mean it," I whisper. "Not for a minute."
His throat bobs.
"Thank you," he breathes. "You have no idea how much that means to me."
"I think I do," I say, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Rest. I've got you."
He nods faintly and shifts, settling deeper against me.
His breathing grows steadier. The ache in my chest eases as I watch him finally let himself have peace.
"I’m here. I’m always here,” I whisper.
His lips curve faintly against my stomach. And for the first time all day... he lets himself rest.
...
"Are you ready, sweetheart?" Kaziel asks me the next morning. I nod, glancing at the digital clock with the date "December, 5th."
We're both dressed in black. Him in a black button-down, coat and pants, me in a black coat, knee-length dress and boots. It's freezing out.
Kaziel reaches out and adjusts my scarf. "Are you warm enough?"
I nod, but his eyes still linger on me, checking again and again like he's afraid I'll vanish if he looks away.
We step outside into the cold morning air. It's so crisp it bites at my cheeks.
Kaziel locks the door behind us, glancing over his shoulder. His jaw is tighter than it was yesterday.
I slip the bouquet of white lilies into one hand and reach for him with the other.
He immediately intertwines our fingers, tightly.
We walk to the car in silence, our footsteps crunching against the thin frost that covers the ground. Kaziel opens my door first, his movements stiff.
He waits until I'm inside before circling to the driver's seat.
During the drive, I can feel him spiraling in his head again, so I gently rub my thumb across the back of his hand where our fingers still tangle in the middle console.
He squeezes once in response. I really wish it were possible to reach deep inside him and take out the hurt.
Snowflakes begin drifting down by the time we turn into the road leading to the pack’s cemetery. At least, that’s what he told me. The trees stand tall and bare, forming a quiet tunnel overhead as we move deeper into what seems to be part of the pack lands.
My breath fogs the window when I exhale.
Kaziel's grip tightens. He eventually slows the car, pulling into a small, private clearing reserved.
The cemetery is so quiet, it sends goosebumps down my spine. I wonder how an immortal like my mate feels walking among the dead.
We step out, our boots sinking into fresh snow, and suddenly he stops moving. He looks like it physically hurts to be here. I want to hug him so badly.
We walk together, side by side, our fingers entwined tightly. His mother's grave is near the back beneath a large cedar tree. As we approach, my stomach tightens.
Something feels... off.
“Do you feel that?” He asks, his movements slowing down.
“I can’t explain it… it’s an odd feeling,” I reply, and he sucks in a sharp breath. And then, he goes dead still.
The grave... isn't right.
The fresh layer of snow around it has been disturbed. Flowers that were probably there yesterday are scattered and wilted. Even the soil looks scraped.
And….
Oh my God.
My eyes widen.
Some of the urn's ash is scattered across the snow.
"Kaziel..." I whisper, my voice barely audible.
But he's already moving. Kaziel moves slowly at first as if he’s trapped in a haze of extreme disbelief.
Then he drops to his knees in front of the grave, brushing his hand over the disturbed soil. His fingers are shaking, not just from the cold. Slowly, he lifts them to his face.
Nausea rolls through me. There’s greyish powder clinging to his fingertips. His mother's ash.
He stares at it for a moment, his chest not moving. He’s not breathing at all, I realize.
"Kaz..." My voice trembles as I sink down beside him.
He doesn't answer. He touches the ground again, scooping more of the ash between his trembling fingers as if he can't believe what he's seeing.
Then he whispers in a hoarse voice.
"...Someone touched her."