Five

Fitz sat at his desk, staring out the window at a couple of squirrels chasing each other around the trunk of a red maple. The distraction wouldn’t have been so bad if he had just watched the animals scurrying about for a few moments and then settled back in on the contracts he was supposed to be perusing, but no, Fitz had been watching them for the past thirty minutes while he held his morning cup of coffee in his hand. The morning sun still hung in the east, making its slow crawl across the sky, urging Draven Falls to wakefulness. Fitz, however, had been awake for the past two hours, unable to keep lying there with the words of his inner promise twisting in his gut. Would he be able to do it? It meant staying completely away from Kinsey, he knew, but Mandy deserved his best, his full commitment. Three days had passed since he vowed to do right by his wife, but nothing seemed easier, his panther remained unsettled, almost as if the beast paced within Fitz’s breast.

Resting on the edge of town, Everest Paper contained both a pulp mill and a paper mill, manufacturing its own wood pulp, which it then turned into the various forms of paper they sold. The smell of sulfur hung heavy in the air, which is why Nathaniel Everest, four generations back, settled the mills as far away from the town proper as he could. Still, Fitz knew that when a good wind kicked up, the foul odor smothered Draven Falls.

The sound of hydraulic brakes snatched his attention to the side as one of Sutherlin’s flatbeds squeaked to a halt outside the main gates, loaded down with more logs for the pulp mill. Fitz watched as the driver passed his ID to the security guard at the gate, the two men laughing about something inane, Fitz assumed, before the guard permitted the driver to continue onto the property. Why Daniel Everest insisted on so much security, his son didn’t know, but things grew tighter over the past few months with more security cameras, guards, and protocols. Sheesh, it’s only paper for crying out loud. Fitz sighed as he lifted his cup to his lips.

“Now, that’s what I like to see,” Daniel Everest said, his tone a little too chipper as he entered Fitz’s office. “Early to work means you can get more accomplished.”

Fitz turned in his desk chair, surrendering the peaceful view outside for the hypocrisy of his father. “I’m sitting here staring out a window. I’m not sure how productive that is.” He set his coffee cup on the folded napkin he kept next to his monitor to avoid coffee rings on his desk and then folded his hands in front of him. “What can I help you with this morning?”

Fitz’s tone brought his father up short, a scowl twisting the older Everest’s features. “What the hell’s gotten into you? Not enough sugar for your coffee?”

Fitz sighed. “Why do we have so much security around a paper mill? Who’s going to steal a bunch of paper?”

His father shrugged before sliding his hands into his front pockets. “Frustrated writers? I hear most of them are poor.”

Fitz cocked an eyebrow at his father but said nothing.

“Wow, you really are in a grumpy ass mood,” Daniel said as he moved over to one of the leather chairs in front of Fitz’s desk and sat down. “I thought I was finished with the whole sullen thing when your brother left for that swamp in Florida.”

“From what I hear, Dimitri is quite the happy man these days,” Fitz said. “So is Lainie as a matter of fact. Since they discovered their destined mates, seems life has been that much sweeter for them. Probably don’t even need sugar in their coffee.”

He watched as his father rolled his eyes. “For crying out loud, Fitz, it’s been a year. You’ve got a beautiful wife and a great position in a thriving company. Stop with all this destined mate bullshit and enjoy your life. Fairy tales don’t pay the bills or give you a future.”

“According to my siblings, it’s far from a fairy tale, and they’ve discovered their future.” Fitz glanced back out the window, his voice growing softer as he spoke. For his brother and sister, fairy tales did come true. However, he should have known better than to say anything to his father.

“Look,” Daniel said as he slid forward to the edge of his chair, pointing a finger at his son. “If destined mates were real, wouldn’t I have mine? Your mother and I love each other.” He waved his hand as he shoved himself back into his seat. “Sure, we feel as if we were meant to be together. Her family and ours made a great merger, but destined? No such thing. And you’re only insulting your wife by holding on to this pipe dream. Besides, Kinsey moved, so there’s nothing you can do about it, anyway.”

“Wait, Kinsey moved?” Fitz moved forward in his seat, leaning over the desk toward his father. “When? To where?” A knot twisted in his gut, threatening to hurl the coffee he drank that morning all over his desk. Why didn’t he know Kinsey moved? No, it can’t be true. Surely, she wouldn’t leave without telling him, without at least saying goodbye. She’d at least give him that much, wouldn’t she? Suddenly, every vow he made to Mandy was out the window with the knowledge Kinsey may have left him forever. His panther paced within, his hackles raised at the news of his mate’s leaving.

Daniel shrugged. “A few days ago. Who knows where? Who cares, for that matter? She’s not your wife. Look, you need to get over this torch you have for someone you bounced around with in the backseat of my car while you were in high school. Your place is here, at work, and at home with Amanda. Kinsey moving is probably the best thing to happen to you, so embrace it.”

But Fitz couldn’t embrace it. Not even close. Why didn’t she say goodbye? Without thinking, he reached for his cell phone, but his father leaped out of his chair and snatched it out of his hand. “Nope. I’m not permitting you to contact that woman.” He pointed at Fitz with the phone. “She’s gone. She’s not your wife. Now, get your ass to work on those contracts before the board meeting. We need to show how much we need to invest in a better trucking company, and that shipment of copy paper needs to get to the Bronson Office Depot before Tuesday of next week. See to it.” Daniel Everest stood, tossing his son’s phone on his desk. “And leave Kinsey alone. She did you a favor by leaving. Don’t squander it.” His father stared hard at him for another moment and then turned and stormed out the way he had strolled into the office, leaving his dark cloud hanging in the air after him.

Fitz turned back to the view outside his window. Not even the brightness of the day could lighten his mood now. She left? How is that even possible? Except for her time at college, Kinsey lived here all her life. He reached beside him, taking his cell phone and opening the photo gallery. He scrolled down to a photo almost buried at the bottom. The picture was taken just before Kinsey left for the University of North Carolina, the two of them standing there, Kinsey in front as Fitz had his arms wrapped around her waist, both of them laughing over something he couldn’t even remember. The joy and contentment on their faces told him of the mistake he made by listening to his father. The growl of his panther echoed the feeling. He ran his thumb over the photo, over Kinsey’s face. The knot in his stomach tightened.

Ignoring what his father told him, Fitz hit his contacts, scrolling until he found Kinsey’s name. Without thinking, he hit call. The phone rang. The knot in his stomach twisted even more. The phone kept ringing. Answer. Please, answer. More ringing. Please, pick up. Just pick up, Kinsey. But she didn’t. Her voicemail kicked in, but the computer voice said her inbox was full.

He wanted to throw up.

He held the phone against his lips as he fought the churning in his stomach. She didn’t even say goodbye. She just left. He lost her. No. He lost her over a year ago when he permitted his father to pick his wife for him. He made her leave.

Kinsey stood there, staring at him, her brows pinched over the bridge of her nose. “I don’t understand,” she said. “When did you even start dating Mandy? Why did you even start dating her? You know our panthers chose each other as their mates. What were you thinking?”

Fitz squirmed where he sat in her small apartment just east of the college. “I’ve actually only been on one date with her,” he said hesitatingly. “This isn’t something I chose to do. My father set it up.”

“Your father set you up on a blind date?” She shook her head as she shoved herself off the couch, crossing her arms as she began to pace. “And you just had to go on this date for your father? You didn’t, oh, I don’t know, think to tell him the two of us were to be mated?” She spun on him, arms still firmly over her chest. “How great was this date that you came back engaged?”

Fitz rested his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together in front of him as he stared at his feet. “I didn’t have a choice, Kinsey. Our fathers arranged it as part of a merger to not only strengthen our businesses, but our families as well. My grandfather did the same to my dad. It’s how it’s done in our tribe. In several tribes to be honest.”

“This isn’t the dark ages,” she snapped. “Families don’t do arranged marriages anymore. Shifters follow the call of their animals.”

He glanced up at her, her body shaking as her eyes filled with tears. “This isn’t what I want,” he said.

“But you’re doing it.” She turned, looking out the front window.

“I don’t have a choice.” He left his spot on the couch, placing his hands on her arms as he slid behind her.

“You have a choice,” she whispered, and he could hear the tears in her tone. “You just didn’t choose me.”

“I’ll make this right,” he promised her, not sure how he would ever be able to keep such a promise while obeying his father. “I’ll figure it out. I love you. I’ll make this work. I’ll make us work.”

Kinsey turned in his arms, never uncrossing hers. “There is no us, Fitz. There’s just you and Mandy. I’m alone. Without my mate, I’ll always be alone.”

“I’ll figure this out,” he vowed.

“There’s nothing to figure out. You made your choice. Just…” She sighed, sniffling up tears. “Just go.”

Fitz went to kiss her, but she turned away, cutting him off. He left her apartment, swearing they would be together somehow.

A year passed, and he was no closer to keeping his promise now than he was back then.

Fitz turned in his desk chair, throwing his cell phone on the top of his desk. Staring at his coffee, he knew it wasn’t strong enough for his mood. He opened his bottom desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of Jameson he started keeping there a month ago, pouring the whiskey into his cup until the liquid reached the rim again. He plopped the bottle on top of his desk, reached for the coffee mug and downed a healthy swallow, the whiskey burning its way down his throat to join the turmoil in his stomach. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. Reaching for the whiskey, he twisted the cap back on and tucked the bottle back away in his bottom drawer. Picking up his mug, he shoved himself out of his chair and walked over to the window, staring out at the maples lining the back property.

She didn’t even say goodbye.

He gripped the coffee cup, forcing himself not to cry, forcing himself to accept his destined mate was out of his reach now forever. If she never answered his call, he would never know where she was. Out of reach. How could she do that to him? How could he do what he did to her?

“Fitz?” Mandy’s soft voice came from behind him. He glanced in the reflection in the window, noticing her standing in the doorway, her purse clutched in both hands in front of her as she stared at him.

He forced a smile onto his face. “Morning,” he said. “I didn’t want to wake you this morning. You were sleeping so sweetly.”

She nodded once as she took a step into his office, her back straight, her shoulders squared, her expression determined, but nervous. “I know where she is, Fitz. She told me.”

He stared at Mandy’s reflection, his mouth open slightly as he struggled to comprehend what she said. Why would Kinsey tell Mandy where she was going?

“Well. She didn’t exactly tell me,” Mandy continued. “She told me she was leaving. I went to go see her, to talk to her about your mood swings. I wanted her help to fix you.” He watched her take a deep breath. “However, she said she needed to leave. She couldn’t be around you with what it was doing to both of you. I watched her load her car and drive away. I watched her leave, Fitz, and I’m sorry.” She shrugged. “I needed to find her, so I did some digging of my own. It wasn’t hard. There’s only so many places for a shifter to hide. She’s in Bull Creek. I wasn’t planning on telling you.”

He didn’t turn around, still not sure what was happening at the moment. When he spoke, he spoke to her reflection. “So, why are you telling me now? Why did you need to find her?”

He noticed she swallowed, the lump in her throat quite visible. Was she afraid? Did she think he would be angry? Think he would hurt her? She should know better; he’d never raise a hand to her.

“I’m telling you because I intend to go to her,” Mandy said. She took another deep breath. “I’m telling you, because I need to go to her.”

He felt his brows scrunch up over his nose as he turned to stare at his wife. What’s going on here? “What do you mean you need to go to her? Why? What’s happened?”

He watched as a lone tear snailed its way down her left cheek. “I have to go to her, Fitz,” she repeated. “Kinsey Pickford is my destined mate.”