Hate to see her cry
She was struggling to breathe. Struggling with what I just told her. And she wasn't even blinking. Seconds had already clicked by, and she was still…frozen.
Standing a few inches away from the couch she was sitting on, I watched her closely. Trying to see if she was indeed breathing and if she'd blink any time soon.
She didn't. Unable to wait anymore, I snapped my fingers in her face.
“Breathe, Elena. Jesus.”
“Huh?” She looked at me like a lost soul. A sad, broken, lost soul. Then my words sank and she finally sucked in a breath, shakily. Her eyes twitched tearfully. “I'm sure you're kidding, Vince. You didn't mean that. You said it to hurt me. Because you're mad at me.”
I watched her dishearteningly. For the first time ever, I wished I was wrong. I wished this was just a petty stunt. I wished I said what I said because I just wanted to hurt her, not because it was true.
She didn't look like she was taking the information so well. I'd take back my words if I could. I'd keep Tracy and Trent's shit a secret forever if I could. That way, I'd spare her the pain she was feeling right now.
“I wish I was kidding, Elena.” I really do wish so.
“But…” she swallowed a lump in her throat. “But…Tracy came home with her baby daddy. He even met Father. So if…if…if Trent…if…Trent…is…”
She wouldn't complete it. I didn't think she could. She was way too hurt to have the courage to voice it out. So I helped her out.
“It’s not rocket science that she paid someone to come claim the child in front of your Father. Probably someone nice and modest. That's the only way she'd get your Father to let her keep the baby.”
She stared blankly at me for seconds. I could see the glistening effect in her bewildered eyes. Then she finally looked away and nodded like some poorly functioning robot.
She said something very incoherent and slowly stood to her feet. She staggered a bit and I caught her hand, solely out of impulse.
“I'm fine,” she retrieved her hand, gesturing at me to step out of the way.
I stepped out of the way as she walked past me going back to my bedroom.
I wasn't sure if I should go after her or stay here. But maybe she needed a bit of privacy to wrap her head around what I just told her. I should leave her alone. I should…but my clingy ass led me closer to the door instead.
Her soft sobs wafted from the room. They were light, fluttering sounds that made my heart clench in pain.
Slowly, I opened the door and stepped inside. She was sitting on the bed, bawling her eyes out. Then she noticed my presence and quickly but vigorously wiped her eyes.
“I thought I came with a purse. Looks like I didn't.” She stood. “I should get going.”
“Let me drop you off.” It wasn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to comfort her. But I wasn't sure how to go about it.
“No. It's fine. I'll take a cab…”
She won't let me comfort her. She won't let me give her a ride. So what do I do for her? How do I help her cope with this pain? She's locking me out and that's not fair.
“Okay.” I couldn't argue. “I'll call one for you,” I said and was gonna leave.
But she looked so sad, My God. And her feeble attempt to hold back her tears was choking her.
Fuck this.
I grabbed her hand, and pulled her into my arms. She tried pushing me off but I easily overpowered her, wrapping my arms tightly around her. Keeping her trapped in my arms.
“You don't need to hold it in. You don't need to hide those tears from me either. Don't do that.” I whispered dejectedly.
She was silent. And then, like a switch turned on, she wailed her heart out. Clutching my shirt in her fist. Convulsing in my arms. Staining my shirt with her tears. I've never listened to a more bitter cry. It made my heart bleed. And made me wanna kill Trent even more.
“How could they deceive me like this?!” She wailed harder. I patted her hair and kissed her neck lightly, hoping they'd comfort her a bit.
“I'm sorry,” I sucked in a breath. “I'm so sorry. I didn't wanna tell you at first because I feared you'd react like this. I feared the truth would break you. But the lie was misleading you and that was harder to watch. That's why I decided to tell you. I'm sorry…”
“Father…” she wailed, clutching my shirt even harder. I held her tighter. But her cries were destroying my resolve. It wasn't nice listening to her crying. It was far from nice.
Maybe Richard would be stronger to listen to her cries. Not me. They were killing me.
“Elena, please stop. I hate seeing you like this…”
She tried pushing me off again. It was so sudden and caught me off guard. I let her do it, because I was confused why she was clinging to me hard one second and pushing me off in the next.
Behind the sadness in her eyes was a mild anger.
“You hate seeing me like this? Really? Wasn't this what you wanted from the start? To see me miserable? To see me in tears? To see me regretting ever choosing Trent over you?”
It was the hardest question I've ever had to answer. Because how do I explain to her that she was right, but not anymore?
Seeing her crying so bitterly is dealing the hell with me. It's messing with me, badly. As much as I wanted her to be miserable and regret choosing Trent over me, I never knew it'd come with such provoking and torturing emotions. I feel hellish inside, just watching those tears fall from her eyes.
“You got what you wanted, Vince. Congratulations.” She walked past me, brushing her arm against mine. Something died inside me at that little collision.
I turned around. “Don't leave, Elena…” but she already opened the door and slammed it shut. “Please…” the last word dropped in the echoing silence that her exit left in the room.
“Here.” Leo handed me a glass of whiskey. I took it reluctantly, and he clicked his glass with mine. “Cheers.”
He gulped his in a go. While I sipped mine, letting myself wallow in my funk. He gestured at the waitress attending to us to get us another bottle. We're in one of his minibars.
“I'm sorry about Elena.” He said, gaining my attention.
“Yeah. Whatever.” I mused, sipping my drink again. I didn't wanna vocally talk about what happened between us earlier today. I was trying to cope with the pain. I think I'll feel worse if I discuss it with him again.
“I'm sure she's not mad at you. She's just…hurt.”
“I know.” I twirled the glass idily. Fuck it. I'm thinking about her. I may as well discuss her. It's not like I can stop myself from doing so. “You know what's crazy, Leo?”
“Nope. Tell me.” The waitress was back with the drink. She dropped it on the table and left.
“I really did want to see her hurting. When I returned, it was everything I wanted. To see her regret choosing Trent over me. For real. What happened today was something I wished for a long time ago. So I don't understand…”
“You don't understand what?”
“Why it's hurting me so much." I took another sip from my glass. “Like my chest is aching, literally. There's like a hole in my heart pumping out hot sores that make the bleeding walls of my heart sting so badly. I don't know but…I feel like my body is being jabbed with hot spikes. Or that I'm being burnt alive. God, I don't understand. I can't explain this pain. But it's intense and it's yanking me apart.”
Leo was quiet. At this point, he seemed to be playing the listener, and that's honestly what I needed right now. Someone who'd listen to me vent.
“Seeing her cry stirred up a primal urge in me to kill Trent. Like, squash him up. The anger and grudge I thought I bore for her vanished and I was left with an aching need to alleviate her pain. To…make her feel alright. I don't know. Is this how it feels when you're crazily in love with someone, or is this because of the bond?”
Leo arched a brow. “What bond?”
“Uh? Nothing. Just…like…you know, the feelings…the bond from my feelings for her. I don't know. Don't mind me.”
I drank up my glass and poured another shot. The silence was awkward so I broke it.
“I hope Cheryl didn't lash out at you much for keeping my return a secret from her.”
Leo gave a strained laugh and threw his head back. “She gave me an earful. And that's okay. I mean, that's the least of my worries. I'm more worried about how to tell her that I got a mistress. I can't tell her because she'll leave me but someday I'll need to tell her. And that scares me.”
Deep and buried in my own grief, I didn't realize he was going through some share of pain too. We were both fucked. And maybe that's why our company tonight was more heartfelt. So broken souls being there for each other. Poetry-worthy.
“So what do you plan on doing now?” Leo assessed me calmly.
I shrugged. “I don't know. I have no fucking idea.”
“Are you still gonna get your revenge on her?”
“And watch her cry like that again? I'd rather die.” It was the worst sight ever and the most painful memory in my head. I'll give anything to have it erased.
Halfway through our newly found silence. My phone beeped. I was a little taken aback by the caller.
My head soldier. The leader of my personal army.
Why was he calling me? I've kept a reasonable distance from them since I returned. As much as I'd like to blame Trebt completely for keeping them from coming to get me, I'm kinda convinced that maybe a few of them genuinely supported Trent on his decision. And until I'm sure, I plan on staying the fuck away from them first.
I ignored the call. But he called again. This time, I picked up.
“You're not allowed to contact me until I'm ready to talk to all of you.”
“I'm sorry, Alpha Vince. But something happened.”
“Something you couldn't fix?”
“It's about…Luna Elena.”
I froze. First, why was he calling me about her? Why did he think I needed to know?
Then again, he came with me to the rogues pack. He witnessed my little emotional moments with her. I think he already got a hang of what my relationship with her was like.
Second, “What happened?”
“She…fainted in the Packhouse.”
“What?”
“Alpha Trent hit her.”
“What??!”