Exhausted

Exhausted
DECLAN

“Speak,” I ordered the girl, trembling in front of me. Elena's half-sister, Tracy.

“Yes. Uncle Vince is her second-chance mate.” She confessed.

I felt a sudden dizziness for a second and leaned against the wall for support.

So he was her second chance mate. That kinda means he had every reason to chase her. He had every reason to keep her. He had every reason to rival his son. And knowing this changes everything.

“Please. Let me go. I really need to go find my Mum. I don't know if she's okay.” The girl dropped to her knees, begging in tears.

I don't really know her enough to know what transpired between her and Elena. I just know that she'd been the one who'd talked me into kidnapping Elena the first time. Except Father had other plans.

So I really don't owe her any grace. But somehow I find myself contemplating it.
She's pitiful in a way that reminds me of myself.

No family. Wanting someone who'd never want you back. Frustrated from fighting so hard. Exhausted. I want to go back to the beginning, if possible. She's the human depiction of all the emotions I'm feeling at the moment.

“If I give you the freedom you're asking for, you're gonna come for Elena again.”

“I won't. I promise. I'll live with my Mum. I swear it.” She was weeping now. “Besides, Trent's dead. I have no more reason to keep fighting.”

She seemed kinda sincere which made me wonder how it would have all played out if Trent had stayed with her instead. I don't know. They might have been happy.

Then again, it's none of my fucking business.

“Please.”

“I'll let you go. In exchange, you do as you promised.”

“Yes. Yes, thank you so much.” She was tearing up and smiling at the same time.

I left the room but ordered my men to escort her to the main gate. I don't know why I'm being this merciful to her. I might regret the decision. But right now, it feels right.

I spent hours locked inside a small, cozy leisure room on the third floor, with bottles of the expensive alcohols I found in the wine cellar, thinking about my fucking life. Everything's so confusing right now. It's all not making sense anymore.

A knock finally came to the door. I didn't respond to it but the door opened anyway.

“Declan.” It was Beck. “Everyone's looking for you. They wanna know what the next plan is.”

“Tell them to go fuck themselves.” I slurred out.

His confusion melted into relief when he spotted the bottles. “You're drunk.”

“I'm exhausted.” I groaned tiredly.

“From what?”

“From this thoughtless fight. What are we fighting for, man? Because I'm kinda losing the plot right now.”

“We wanna take back the mainland. And we're on a revenge against Vince Walker.”

“Right. But don't you think everything's a little more complicated now?”

“The only thing complicated is your heart and your goals. You developed feelings for the enemy and it's got you all wrecked.”

“Oh, c'mon. Elena's not the enemy.”

“And neither is Vince?”

“Well, he is. But then–” I paused, sucking in a breath. I should shut up. It's best to keep my crazy thoughts to myself rather than sharing them out loud.

“But then what?”

“But then, I feel like I'm gonna be in his shoes soon.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The elders. I feel like they're doing to us what Vince's elders did to him. They're treating us as puppets, man.”

“Because they asked you to kill Elena? But that's just what you need to do as your father's son.”

“I don't need to kill Elena to cement my position as my Father's son. And I'll always be my father's son whether I kill her or not.” I pointed out logically. Because for once, I'm tired of the unreasonable sentiments.

Let's be fucking logical for the first time.

“We had no reason to go after Elena's family. Whoever made us believe she was the only key to get Vince was an idiot.”

“But she is the key to getting Vince.”

“No. She's her own self. We should have figured out a way to capture Vince without getting the girl involved. We messed up her life. And Vince messed up ours. And now we're all messes!”

Beck took a deep breath, not saying another word. I took a deep breath too, stepping away from him. I feel shitty. So many emotions in my head and I'm not sure how to let them out.

“So what do you plan on doing?” Beck asked after an awkward and intense moment of silence. “The elders will be here tomorrow. What are you gonna tell them?”

“Nothing. Because I won't be here.”

“What?” His eyes widened a bit. “Where will you be going?”

I'm on the verge of taking another shitty decision. This one, I'm sure I'm gonna regret. But I gotta do it anyway.

“For the first time, I wanna do what's right,” I said, feeling perplexed.

“What's that?”

“I'll be returning her to Vince. She's better off with him than dying here.”

“What? You can't do that. He's gonna kill you. And if we hand her over, we've got nothing on him anymore—”

“No, he's gonna kill you. He sent you a date, remember? I need to resolve that. And I'm gonna resolve that with her. I'm not just handing her over because I care about her.”

But I do. Fuck yeah, I do. These misleading, sinful emotions are making me feel more miserable than I've ever felt in my whole years of existence.

“The elders are gonna get really upset. They'll react badly to this. You know that.”

“Yes, I do.” I nodded. “But then, I don't live for the elders. I live for myself. And if they turn on me for it, then I guess Vince isn't gonna be the only OUTCAST. I'll be too. We could form a team.”

“Don't be silly.” He looked like he wanted to cry. Fucking emotional, Beck. Too damn emotional.

“Don't worry too much.” I rubbed his weak, fallen shoulders. “I realised something when I let Tracy go. The poor girl has at least a family to return to. You're my only family, Beck. When all this is over, I wanna know I can always return to you.”

“Me too.” He was tearing up now.

“And if I let Vince kill you too, I won't survive the agony it's gonna cost me. And I fear I'll spend the rest of my life fighting for a revenge I might not get. It'll destroy me. So yeah, I should hand her back. She keeps making him come for my life.”

“She's such a curse. That damn princess.”

I chuckled. “She is.”

“Be careful, man.”

“You too.” I wasn't about to cry. I didn't want to. So I left the room, the building, and the Pack without a glance back.

Elena was on the passenger seat while I drove the dark, deserted pathway that led to Vince's Pack.