Snap out of it
DECLAN
The creamy glow from the sun synced with her skin in the most enchanting way. And now I'm staring at her like some lovesick puppy.
It hurts to admit she's indeed fucking gorgeous. It hurts even more to admit that the longer I keep her alive, the more impossible it's gonna be for me to wanna kill her. The deeper my need to possess her is gonna become.
How did I get here? How did I go from intensely and rightfully hating her to this? It feels wrong. It is wrong. And I hate myself for it. I feel like a damn sellout.
She bent and sniffed a flower. Her small smile made her face glow. And it sent a maddening rush to my nerves, especially around my groin. I grew a boner instantly.
Maybe if I had a taste of her. Maybe a good taste of her would cure this insanity. Fuck her till she's buried in sweat and exhausted from screaming out my name.
I bet that's gonna relieve me of this insanity.
“Declan.”
I spun around quickly, panting like I had been caught doing something disgustingly wrong. Beck had stormed into the room without fucking knocking.
“I can't find your little prisoner in her room.”
“Hmm?”
“I said I can't —” he paused, staring above my shoulder. Then he smirked. “Oh, there she is.”
“Uh…yeah.” He moved closer to the window and I turned to it too. We're both staring at her now. “She needed some air.”
“She told you that?”
“She didn't need to. I could tell she was feeling suffocated in the room. So I let her take a walk.”
“Right. So tell me, since when did we start letting our prisoners take walks?”
“Beck,”
“Better still, since when did you start paying enough attention to her to know when she needs a walk and when she doesn't?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Nothing. I'm just trying to understand what the fuck is going on, man.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are we keeping her here? She's supposed to be sent to the caves to start the ritual. I already informed the cave sorcerers. They're ready.”
“She'll go. I promise. I need a little more time.”
“For what exactly, man? That's what I'm trying to figure out. What are we keeping her for?”
It was painful to admit. But I gotta tell him. Maybe he'll help me clear out my hazy head. Maybe he'll understand how I feel.
“I need her to admit that I'm worth her time. I need her to admit that I'm not just a beast that feasts on lives. That I'm capable of more. I need to know that I can have her just like the other guys did.”
Beck stared at me like I'd gone insane. And then he let out a gutty scoff.
"You said this before and I thought you were kidding."
"I wish I were." I fucking wish I were.
“So in other words, you're mesmerized by her?”
“Yeah, but I think it's narrowing down to obsession.”
“You're an idiot, man. Geez.” He grunted out. “Why would you give her such power over you?”
“I didn't! She took it. I don't know, it just happened. But I'm not in love with her. I'm not.”
“It'd be better if you were in love with her. This is so much worse. You're fixated on her. It's a toxic bond. Why would you even look at her like that? You know what she is. You know what she's done to us.”
“I know that. And I feel like a fucking Judas because of these feelings. But c'mon, Beck, take a fucking good look at her and tell me she doesn't stir you up. Go ahead and say it. I dare you.”
“Well, unlike you, I don't LOOK at her. I look beyond her. That's how I stay unaffected by her beauty. So yeah, she doesn't excite me.”
“Oh, c'mon. That's a big ass lie.” I scoffed. He's bluffing. Any ‘straight’ man would get a hard-on just looking at her. It's funny that Vince hasn't had her give birth to a handful of his kids.
A man like me would be unrestrained around her. I'd wanna fuck her every goddamn second.
“Declan, snap out of it. Our clan depends on you. We all hope on you to bring back the rogue kingdom. Don't mess it up over something not worth it.”
I know that. I know. But…
Damn, she's fine. I'm staring at her again and fucking hell, she's gorgeous. It's paralyzing.
“She's not worth it.”
She is. With that body, she is.
“She's the reason we got doomed.”
Not really. It's all Vince's fault.
“Don't betray your family like this. What would your Father say if he were here?”
Now that fucking caught my attention. Beck was looking me deep in my eyes while driving his painful dagger of truth right into my chest.
“He's gonna be one hell of disappointed if he sees you all weak and yearning for that princess. She's the reason your Father died. Never forget that, Declan. You're your Father's son. Don't betray him like this.”
I took another long stare at her and all my bones churned with an intense hunger. It was aggressive now, like they'd realize I might never have her.
I hope this hunger fizzles out soon. I hope I don't spend the rest of my life yearning for her this way.
“Go get Trent. He needs to reject her before she's taken to the cave.”
“No. We don't know how strong their bond is. The ride to the cave takes two days. If he rejects her now, she might get too weak before we get there. And you know she needs a bit of strength during the ritual.”
Yeah, he's right.
“So what do you suggest?”
“We'll bring Trent along. He'll reject her before the ritual starts.”
“Alright.” I took another long, yearning look at her. The next time I see her, it won't be Elena Peters in that body anymore. It'll be Lucia.
I really hope it's the body I'm fucking attracted to and not Elena Peters. I hope it's her body that's driving me nuts and not her soul.
Because if that's the case, if it turns out it's her soul I'm yearning for, then I'll be doomed for life.
“Get ready. Y'all leave tonight.” I gave my order to Beck. He bowed and left.