You're leaving...
The creamy dishes that involved salad, crabs, and a whole lot of seafood, veggies, and meat would be more than mouthwatering for any normal person out there.
But I was crippled with an intense sadness that ran deep from my heart to my bones and completely got rid of my appetite.
I couldn't bring myself to have a taste of any of them. And worse, Father was right beside me, and he hadn't said a word to me.
The intense tension existing between us had my stomach knotted badly. He hasn't said a word to me since Vince and Uncle Leo left. I don't know what happened between them but Vince's busted lips gave me enough clues. His green eyes held so much anger when he was leaving.
I have questions but I can't bring myself to ask them. Father looks shattered. Fighting with Vince was never an easy feat for him. He never liked doing it, so they never really fought. It must be eating him so badly knowing they've got so much bad blood now.
The fact that I'm the reason makes me feel even worse.
He lost a lot of loved ones today. Tracy's Mother and Tracy. He's divorcing her, and he plans on giving her 5% of his property. He's gonna announce it to the Pack soon. But he did flatly tell her never to show her face in front of him again. Tracy, however, can see him when he's ready to look at her again. For now, he strictly instructed both of them to stay away from him.
His words were blunt, and even I ached. I spent all afternoon wondering if he's gonna do the same to me. Is he gonna make an arrangement for me and ask me to never show my face to him again? He hasn't looked at me for as long as five seconds. So definitely, he loathes the face already. It's only a matter of time before he tells me what he plans on doing with me.
I'm scared. I don't wanna be chased off like Tracy and her Mother. I won't be able to survive it. At least Tracy has her mother. I don't have anyone else.
I dropped my fork and slowly pushed back my seat. “Goodnight, Father.”
“Eat.” His voice cut through the air. My butt dropped back on the seat. “If not for your sake, but for the baby's sake, you need to eat.”
For a split second, I felt his warm care, and it triggered tears down my face. I grabbed my fork and slowly began shoving the food into my mouth.
We ate in silence.
“You're leaving this house.” He said, ending the silence.
I went pale. He didn't spare me a glance.
“Wh…what?”
He finally looked at me. “I'm not disowning you, Elena.” He reassured me, and that settled my heart a bit. “This whole thing is just hard for me. I'm trying so hard not to hate you but I might, if you stay here. If I keep looking at you. So I'm trying to avoid that.”
I nodded, lowering my head as tears stained the table.
“I already have everything prepared. You'll be going to Switzerland. You'll have your child there.”
“I've never gone so far from you, Father. Switzerland is a very long distance away from you.”
It feels like he's gently throwing me away too.
“Yes, it is. It's far. And it's quiet. It's lovely and a good place to stay until you've given birth to your child.”
“Doesn't it hurt you that I'd be going that far away?”
“What hurts me more is the fact that I'm thinking of you now as a soon-to-be mother and not as my little girl anymore. I made this decision because I thought it'd help your mental state as a pregnant mother. I thought going away from all these and embracing some nature would help settle your mind.”
“And also because you can't bear looking at my face anymore…”
“Forgive me, but…it's way too hard to. I don't hate you. I just…it's just hard.”
“I understand,” I mumbled, between sobs.
“Vince was here today. He got furious when I mentioned that I was gonna make you abort his child.”
I gave a silent gasp, looking at him.
“Something about the way he reacted made me realize how easily anger could turn one into a monster. How could I even think of hurting an innocent child? I couldn't help but hate myself a bit.”
There was no talking, so I just listened with a steady, crushing heart.
“But then I realized I'm also the victim in this shitty story. I was the one who was lied to. The one who got betrayed. So I should give myself some grace. Still, I don't want this anger to turn me into a monster. It's also why I need you to leave. Maybe if I don't see you every day, if I don't hear your laughter every day, then I might heal even faster. I might…learn to miss you.”
“Please, forgive me, Father…”
“Not right now, but definitely. I could never stay mad at you forever, Elena. Even though what you did hurt me more than whatever Lucy and Tracy did. Hell, Lucy did worse. She tried killing me. But that doesn't hurt as much as what you did. Still, I know there's a greater chance of forgiving you than there is for her.”
He reached out and held my hand. It made me sob even harder as I tightened the hold.
“I just need time, Elena. Please forgive me too. But I need time…away from you.”
It was heart-crushing. It was painful. It was killing me. But I had to accept it.
“I understand, Father.”
“And I hope you know that this is the end of my friendship with Vince.” He added, detangling our hands. “I never thought I'd ever say such words because I did love him deeply. But I can't bring myself to be friends with him ever again. Not after what happened today.”
“I understand…” but my unabated tears showed just how much his decision was hurting me.
“I'm sorry, Elena. And I'm not depriving your child of a Father. He's welcome to be in his child's life. But not in my child's. Not in mine either.”
I couldn't speak. The gulp in my throat was huge. If I tried swallowing it, I'd end up wailing. So I held it back.
Cutting ties with Vince was as good as suicide. What part of me would survive such harsh reality? I'll be ruined.
“You leave in two days,” Father said, leaving the table.
I listened until his footsteps faded into the background before letting the tears take over me, wailing my heart out.