Chapter 25

I am sorry, I let you down. I know I promised that I wouldn't cry over thinking useless things, but I couldn't help it today. I'm sorry it's just__’’ I said to Ariana, choking on my own words as I didn't know what to say or how to explain my condition to her, who rather than making fun of me, stayed quiet for a few seconds before speaking.

‘‘It’s okay, sweetheart. Sometimes, shedding a few tears lessens the burdens and sorrows of the heart,’’ she said and I couldn't help but let out a whimper as I felt emotions that I had buried inside me opening up a little bit.

‘‘I miss them. Even after what they did to me. I miss them. I want them to look into my eyes and hold my hand, and just say everything would be fine,’’ I said, falling to the ground as my legs gave up.

I wanted them to tell me that beyond all these werewolf shit, I was their daughter. The daughter that they loved.

‘I just want them to tell me that they love me for once. Beyond a lantern that brought shame to them, their family, and the pack, I was also their daughter that they loved. I just want them to hug me. Is that too much to ask? Can't someone just love me for once, am I that hateful? Don't I deserve love?’ I asked, not realizing I was wailing beside a tree now.

It was a good decision that I came into this secluded corner where no one visits or I wouldn't be able to explain my condition to anyone.

‘‘Shhh… it's okay. You've got me, and I love you no matter if anyone does or not. I'll always stay by your side and will always protect you. I am sorry that I can't show myself, but I'm doing this for your own sake,’’ Ariana said, and the more she kept talking about this wolf thing, the more pathetic it became.

I know I was used to her joking like this, but doesn't she know that I'm not in the mood for the jokes?

‘‘To hell with this wolf thing. Am I not a person? Don't I deserve to be loved? What the hell did I do in the world to deserve this? All of these because I didn't change to a wolf on my 14th birthday? Am I, not a person? Just because I didn't have a wolf, everyone had to treat me like this. Why?

My parents abandoned me because I was a lantern. I suffered the hatred of the whole pack because I was a lantern. I didn't get to meet the love of my life because I was a lantern. I had to live alone, hide, and leave the pack to dangerous places all by myself because I was a lantern. And now, the strongest Alpha is investigating my case because I wanted a little peace in my life and decided to live safely among humans. All of this is because I was a lantern, ain't it?’’ I shouted at my conscience, not realizing I shouted these words for real. And there was someone else here who was watching me break down and mourn about my lantern things silently.

‘‘All these are not happening to you because you are a lantern. It is happening to you because you didn't meet the right kind of people. The people who had the guts to stand by you and care for you despite all your differences,’’ I heard a voice behind me and I turned to look in that direction, my eyes widening when I realized who it was.

‘‘How long have you been standing here,’’ I asked, wiping my eyes while standing up. My emotional drama can wait. I don't need to show my weakness to someone I barely know.

‘‘Long enough to see through your facade,’’ he said, and I nodded my head at him. He had probably seen my mental breakdown, and I didn't want to embarrass myself more than I already had. So thus, I turned to leave.

However, before I could move, he gripped my wrist, making my lips tremble a bit as I was still recovering from my previous breakdown.

‘‘Let go of my hand,’’ I said, my voice coming out colder than intended.

‘‘Friends don't leave their friends alone when they are in need,’’ he said, repeating the same words that I had said to Jim in class.

Smiling sadly, I was about to ask him to let go again when he pulled me roughly to himself, making my back bump to his chest. Before I realized what was happening, he hugged me from behind. And I couldn't help but widen my eyes at such a gesture.

‘‘Blake, what are you doing? Let go of me,’’ I said, trying to get off his iron-like grip.

‘‘It’s either I'm hugging you from the back, or I'm hugging you from the front. The choice is yours. I am not leaving you until you calm down,’’ he said. And though I wanted to break free from his hold, because this wasn't appropriate, a part of me was grateful for his hug. The part of my heart that was feeling strangely calm and protected by his arms.

A feeling that was undoubtedly unfamiliar to me. Was it really this powerful? Was this how someone feels when they are hugged while going through a tough time? Or was it just me? Was this the reason why I always craved my parents' hug whenever kids in the pack would bully me? Is this why they never hugged me? Because they didn't want me to feel protected? Because they wanted me to suffer?

Looks like a hug is all I needed to calm myself down from this emotional and traumatic breakdown.

‘‘Why are you doing this?’’ I couldn't help but ask him. He was the Beta of the Alpha who was probably thinking of a cruel way to exile me or find a way to get me out of this pack or better, out of this world. And even after knowing he'd be in big problems if his alpha found out that he was befriending me and trying to help me. He was still here, putting his position and life at stake, and helping me through this tough time.

I waited for his answer patiently, anticipating what he would have to say. However, the answer he gave me rendered me both speechless and fuming with anger for a few seconds.