Chapter 21 Can’t Help Falling In Love
Chapter 21 Can’t Help Falling In Love
Rinoa / Sloane
I slammed the drawer shut; his reaction added to my sour mood,
Take hold of your temper before you do something you’ll regret, Rinoa.
“Fine, stay, I'm the one leaving,” Cillian said, as I grabbed onto his arm.
“I didn't mean it that way,” I explained, attempting to make him believe me.
He shrugged me off. He was running away, shutting down. Silence wasn't gonna fix this, fix us.
“Where are you going? I followed him up the stairs.
Shit. I wished to take back all I said. Emotions got the best of me.
“Somewhere.” He didn't look back as he strode to the door.
“Cillian, it’s late.” My voice rimed with panic.
He ignored me. I deserved that after all I had said.
“Don’t go like this.” I tried to catch up to him. I reached from his chin, forcing him to spare me a glance.
“Sloane, I’m giving you what you want.” He said, his sadness broke me.
“It’s you I want.” I declared, holding back my tears.
“Why?” He asked.
“Because you're clearly upset, and we said things I didn't mean and—”
He bit his lips and turned away, “Try again, Sloane, tell me why I shouldn't leave, when you're so quick to do so, after I beg you not to!” The hurt in his phrases made my heart ache ten times more.
“I don’t want you to go.” I settled my eyes on the floor, defeated and in pain.
“Why do I think you're just saying that?” Cillian opened the door.
“Please.” He stopped walking for a moment, but he kept his back away from me.
“Not good enough.” I didn't stop him again.
And I watched him walk away.
Why do I always keep messing things up? Tears formed in my eyes, and like rain, they poured out.
When it came to Cillian, I expected the worst from him.
We crushed and we burn, destroying each other.
Minutes passed, hour after hour.
No, Cillian, I yanked some pillow from the bedroom, I planned to camp on the couch, and wait for him to come back.
I made sure my phone would ring if he called.
Come back home.
I waited until darkness and misery became my company.
Cillian
I drove with no destination in mind, and the emptiness inside me dug a hole in my chest. I didn't want to be away from her, but being around her right now hurts.
It pained me more than I show. I couldn't upset her any longer; one more mistake, and she would be gone forever.
I unconsciously eradicated the progress we had made. She kept questioning our connection despite my effort to make her see me, see that I care for her.
Genuinely.
How do I convince a woman I hired to be my wife that we are meant to be together by choice?
I was a mess, lost with nowhere to go.
Every effort was not good enough; we always find ourselves circling back to the same issue.
I was hopeless and devastated when I found myself knocking on Silvanus' door.
He opened it not a minute later. “I was wondering when you would show up.”
“She called you.” But how? Dang. Sloane worked for me; she had her ways.
His lack of a smile was enough confirmation for me.
“Whatever you did, fix it, Cillian, she sounded miserable.”
“Assuming I’m the one in the wrong?” I told him, pushing the door wide so I could enter.
“Seriously? I think yes.”
I groaned. All I heard was that my wife was miserable.
His place was clean and masculine; you could tell a bachelor lived here.
“Whiskey? Anything?”
An agonizing memory hit me in the gut. My father loves to drown in whiskey every moment of the day.
“Water will be good,” I replied. Silvanus went straight to grab a glass.
Alcohol and the thought of my Father was a total nightmare.
“I’m flattered you’re here to seek my advice, but my dear friend, I’m terrible with women; Stacey wouldn't even pick up my calls.” He said, feeling low.
“I’m a married man, on the verge of losing my wife, while you're a player who couldn't keep his dick in his pants; we play in a different league now,
buddy. “
“Fine, that’s why I think I can't help you, Cillian.”
I took a deep breath. It's been a long night, and it's still going.
“For the record, I wasn't trying to hurt her; I was earning her trust to believe that I care for her.”
“Shit! Are you a changed man now? You’re scaring the hell out of me.”
His face reminded me of the day when I beat him for the first time at chess.
A face of unbelief.
I pressed my lips together to avoid sharing more.
“Well, this is news. I thought you would make her fall in love with you, but I guess you're the one catching feelings, huh.”
Silvanus taunted me, and I liked to beat him up for it.
He threw his head back and forth as he laughed.
I ground my teeth in irritation. “Are you fucking done?”
“I’m sorry, man, couldn't help it, you married her to make your life easier, only to find out that you really love her.”
Silvanus made me feel like I was a punchline of his favorite joke in a comedy bar.
“I never said anything about love, you dipshit." I was annoyed. Coming here was a horrible idea.
“Sorry, okay?” he placed his hand over my shoulder, "You're obviously having a hard time.” He was struggling to hold his laughter.
“I’m going.” I stood up, yet he blocked my way.
“I think I know what you have to do.”
I raised a brow, “I’m all ears.”
“Well, Sloane is a woman; she has needs, wants, and fears, and maybe you already provided for her wants and needs? But what about her fear, Cillian? Have you spent a minute of your time asking her?”
Damn it, Silvanus made a fair point.
“Maybe you didn't fully earn her trust yet, and she’s deflecting, and not telling you what’s holding her back.”
I blinked and thought hard.
“All I did was for her to trust me.”
I did give her reasons to be secure in me.
In us.
“Man, your whole relationship is a lie.” He said, popping all my hope.
“No, it’s not.”
“I’m not the one who needs convincing. Does she know that?”
And everything came crashing back to me like a tidal wave.
Fucking hell, I was a dumbass.
“What shall I do? “
“Start with the truth, man, and go from there.”
Easy for him to say; he wasn't the one falling in love.