Episode 148 || Melancholic Depression

“My wife, Mishka, met you this morning. What’s exactly wrong with her?” Christian asked, and Dr James took a sip of his drink.

“She is suffering from melancholic depression.” Dr James states and Christian’s heart skipped a beat.

FLASHBACK

“Send the next patient in,” Dr James asked the nurse, who was waiting for his instruction. The door of the cabin opened again and Mishka stepped in. “Please take a seat,” Dr James said while writing something on his writing pad.

Mishka settled on the seat opposite him and gulped nervously. She didn’t know how to explain. If this was some physical injury, she could’ve described it, but what to describe when she doesn’t know what she was suffering from?

Mishka continuously tapped her fingers on the desk and James noticed, “Relax, Mrs Knight!” He said and lifted his eyes to look at her anxious face. Mishka’s fingers stopped tapping as she smiled, but she was creeping out from inside.

“I think I should come next time, sorry for wasting your time,” She stuttered and stood up to exit.

“What’s the rush? At least have a cup of coffee with me. It’s quite rude to leave like that,” said James, passing his ever-charming smile.

His attempt to make her comfortable worked as she slowly sat back. “I’m sorry.” She muttered.

“It’s alright, let’s just have a cup of coffee together, and then you are free to leave. Filtered coffee?” He asked, and Mishka nodded.

“Two filtered coffees please,” He asked the nurse, and she left, closing the door on her way out. There was complete silence for some moments when Dr James finally spoke.

“So, Mishka Knight, the famous wife of ex- eligible bachelor of London. Glad to finally meet you,” He said and Mishka smiled awkwardly in response. Her lack of interaction showed her weak confidence, and James sensed it.

“How’s Christian doing these days?” He shot another question and Mishka knitted her eyebrows.

“You know my husband?” She asked, a sense of relief surged through her when she found herself around someone known.

“Yes, we were in the same college.” He lied, and a smile stretched on Mishka’s lips, showing off her dimples.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” She said, and their coffee arrived. “But why didn’t you come to our wedding?” She questioned.

“I was out of the country that time,” He replied and she nodded.

“Anyway, what brings you here? I mean, you came to meet the doctor, so what’s wrong?” He asked cautiously.

“Actually, I don’t know why I came here. For the last few months, I am doing weird things and everyone around is worried about witnessing my actions.” She said and took a sip of her coffee.

“What were you like before, I mean, before marrying Christian?” Dr James asked. “Are you a model? I saw you on some cover page of the magazine,”

“No, I am not interested in modelling. It was just for one time. I am a lawyer by profession.” She proudly stated, her eyes shining. “I was very ambitious before, love to try every new thing, learn new skills, wanted to everything in my life, desired for everyone to love and respect me, you won’t believe, I wanted to be a doctor after completing my law,” She laughed. “But now I don’t want to do anything.” Her face slowly dropped while mentioning the last part.

“Because of that factory incident?” Dr James mentioned, and her dark brown eyes darted back at him.

“I lost my child but trust me I didn’t know I was pregnant,” She quickly tried to clarify. “They kicked me so many times in the stomach, slapped me, injected me harmful drugs and I couldn’t do anything, they held my three-year-old son on gunpoint, no matter how much I try, I can’t remove those horrific memories.” She said, wiping tears from her cheeks while Dr. James stared at her wordlessly.

“I killed my child. My baby was inside me yet I couldn’t protect her,” She said remorsefully.

“Her?”

“Yeah, I have a feeling I had a girl but I will never know,” She smiled sadly, tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Calm down.” He patted the back of her hand. “Is Christian blaming you too for a baby?”

“No, absolutely not. Christian never blamed me for anything. He is a very supportive husband,” She said, “But I know he will leave me for someone else. I have this feeling and I can’t fight this jealousy. I was not like this before.” She said uncomfortably, and James scrutinised her facial expressions and actions like he was making a mental note.

“Do you think I am mad?” She asked, tapping her fingers on the desk again, biting her lips.

James took a deep breath and smiled. “Well, if you are asking Christian’s friend James, then I think something is wrong with you.” He said and Mishka’s face dropped.

She looked down at her lap. “I knew it. I am dangerous for everyone around me. I should just disappear somewhere before I cause harm to someone.” She said, but then looked at him. “Wait, what…. Christian’s friend?”

“Yes, but if you ask Dr James and if you trust his judgment, then you’re perfectly fine. You are just unable to believe that something so horrific happened to you and you are keep asking yourself why, and trust me, why has no answer!” said James.

“What should I do?” She asked. “I can’t concentrate on anything,”

“Try. All we can do is try. You’ll try to help me and I’ll try to help you,” James said. “Tell me, what else holds your interest?”

“I want to work as a lawyer.” She said, but James gave her a disapproving look.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for now. You might encounter cases of theft, kidnapping, rape, crime, murder and it might affect your mood again. Is there anything else you like to do?”

Her face beamed with hope. “I LIKE WRITING!! I mean editing. I used to work part-time for Snowdrop Publication.”

“You are associated with Snowdrop publication? That’s impressive!!” James praised. “I think you should go for it. Restart your career, fuel your passion. Half of your worries will vanish before your next visit here.” James gave hope and he could see that hope flashing in her eyes.

“I’m really not mentally unstable?” She asked fearfully.

“Of course not!! You are a brilliant girl, just caught up in a web of emotion, emotions that are controlling you, but soon you’ll be controlling them again.” He assured, and she smiled in response.

“This is your medicine. The nurse will help you and we’ll see each other next week. I wish to meet Christian on the next visit,” He said, giving her the prescription, and she stood up to leave, nodding her head.

“Don’t let your mind play games with you. Always remember, you are the one holding the steering wheel of your life.” He said and Mishka passed a charming smile.

“Thank you! I’m feeling much better after talking to you.” She said.

FLASHBACK END

“She was calm when she left my clinic. It’s weird. I don’t understand what pushed her to the limit that she tried to take her life.” James said while Ken filled glasses.

“What is melancholic depression?” Christian questioned.

“Major depressive disorder, symptoms are- extreme sadness, loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable, having a lack of energy or feeling fatigued, feeling anxious, difficulty in concentrating, and lastly suicidal thoughts.” Dr James responded, and Christian held his head in his hand, feeling helpless.

“What should I do?” He asked.

“You can’t do anything apart from supporting her emotionally. She has to fight this battle alone, and I’ve met your wife. There is hope. Just keep her always busy, don’t let her mind wander or this could happen aga….” Christian cut off James before he could complete.

“I’ll not let anything like this happen ever again!” Christian stated.

***

Vera slept while waiting for Luke and Christian. Though Luke video calls the nurse and he told Vera that Christian will come to meet her later in the night, but she was sure something was wrong, that her family members were trying to hide. She tried several times to indicate to the nurse that she wants to watch news headlines on the television hanging on the white wall, but she couldn’t understand Vera’s actions.

Christian quietly entered her room and sat on the stool beside her, watching her sleeping figure. All the things going around were taking a toll on him as well, but he was trying his best to keep himself sane.

Christian sat near her bed and took her hand into his, completely unaware that her fingers were actually working and she could sense him.

He kissed the back of her hand. Vera slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. She blinked her eyes a few times while Christian was holding her hand near his cheek with his eyes closed.

Suddenly, he felt a fingertip moving on his chin. His eyes shot open, and then went wide, looking at Vera’s moving fingers. He jumped in his seat, absolutely thrilled. “Mom, you can move your finger. Can you talk to me?” He said, putting her palm on his cheek and he felt sensation. Vera tried to smile, but ended up crying in helplessness. Her lips trembled.

“Okay, don’t cry. I know you will talk to me soon.” He wiped her tears while Vera tried to show him the movement on her toes and succeeded as Christian looked at her toes moving under the sheet.

“I am so happy, mama. You are coming back.” He said, cupping her cheeks. “Just come back soon, please. I really need you!” He said, looking into her eyes and smiled but the way he said, Vera was sure something was wrong.

“I gotta go, mama. It’s really late and Mishka must be waiting for me. But I’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He promised Vera and left the hospital.

***

Leo, Rony, Rose, and Luke were sitting in the living area, concerned about Mishka’s health, while Rose worried about Daniel and Eric as she felt Mishka’s actions could affect them mentally.

“Christian has gone to meet Mishka’s doctor. I hope everything will be alright soon,” Leo said.

“But what if everything didn’t turn out good?” Rose asked, and Rony glared at her.

“Rose, I told you this is not the right time,” Rony said sternly.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Leo, slightly panicked.

“What’s wrong? Really, dad? Everything is wrong, Mishka’s behaviour is affecting both the kids. You know, Daniel was scared to sleep alone tonight. Poor baby has seen so many disasters happening right in front of his eyes. The chandelier accident, car accident, kidnapping, and now suicide attempt. Do you really think this atmosphere is appropriate for growing kids?” Rose said, “I understand Mishka is troubled, but we have to do something,” Rose suggested.

“Like what?” Luke asked.

Rose took a deep breath. “Let’s shift Mishka to the west wing of the mansion for a time being, or else Rony and I will move back to our apartment with Daniel.” She stated, “You all must be thinking I’m acting selfish, but I can’t take a risk of my child’s mental growth.”

“You’re absolutely right, Rose. You aren’t acting selfishly. Daniel, Mishka, Eric, they all are my kids and I can’t compromise with anyone’s health.” Leo said, and stood up abruptly. “You can move back to your apartment whenever you wish,” He said and all three of them were left stunned.

“That girl, who is lying unconscious upstairs, gambled with her life to fulfil my last wish, she left everything back in India to bring all of us under one roof, and I will certainly not throw her in the west wing when she needs us the most,” He stated and left from there.

“What has gotten into you, Rose?” Rony shrieked as he stood up. “I told you to keep your mouth shut.”

“What is wrong with you, Rony? Aren’t you worried about our son?” She countered. “Luke, you tell me. Do you think I am wrong?” Rose turned to Luke.

“You are absolutely right,” Christian walked. “I do understand your concern and I have a way to solve this.” He said. “Mishka and I will shift to your apartment for a time being.” He stated and left them alone, walking upstairs, while the other three watched him.

***

Mishka was sleeping with the effect of medicines when Christian entered their room. He was on a verge of crying but controlling himself for her sake.

He lied down beside her, careful not to hurt her hand, and slipped his hand around her stomach, inching close to her. “I am sorry, you suffered so much because of me and my family, but I promise you’ll be fine soon,” He whispered, kissing her cheek.